December 01, 2004

Meet Girls!
posted by Argh 19 years ago
  • That's gotta be a joke. That technique is a sure fire ticket to a front row seat to "loneliest guy in town does solo penis puppetry" after all the humiliating rejections, that is.
  • four letters sums up my response to that article: lmao* *and not in a, 'awwe isn't that kinda cute - funny' sort of way but in a, 'geez 3 easy steps to creep a woman out' way
  • Puppets are so hot.
  • I tried this once. The puppet is now a happily married father of three plush toys and my broken nose never really did set right.
  • Wouldn't it be great to respond to that by taking the sock off your foot, pulling it over your hand, and simulating hot, smelly, cotton wrist-sex with his puppet? And then breaking the news that your slutty hand is holding out for Ben Affleck. Oh, while that episode is hysterically NSFW, the link is just text.
  • This article written by Don Diebel (Americas #1 Singles Expert). If not getting a date counts as being a Singles Expert, then I'm a grand master.
  • It really depends on the kind of girl you are trying to meet. (NSFW?)
  • I read Señor Wences' biography — that guy scored more than Wilt Chamberlain claimed to! Never underestimate the ability of pretending that your hand is talking to impress the ladies. S'all right? S'all right!
  • Mr Knickerbocker - that site deserves FPP status - fantastic.
  • John Malkovich approves.
  • The puppet m. o. is creeeeepppppyyyyy. But slightly better than the time I had a guy start talking to me at a cafe, then all of the sudden he started making these crazy alien noises.I asked him to repeat himself, thinking the band was too loud and I was just hearing wrong. He responded that when he can't think of words that go with how he's feeling he just makes whatever sounds feel right. Run, no I mean RUN away from the puppet man
  • Jebus, with that rose, his picture looks like the senior photos for half of the girls in my high school graduating class. That hair, too. Eek.
  • And if the puppet isn't working, you could always go here for a fun-filled weekend of cock-teasing.
  • I used to try this, but the best pickup line my puppet had was to ask if the girl had "ever had it socky-style." I'm not even sure what that means. Sick little bastard.
  • Does the puppet need to pay cover?
  • Even better would be to get a willing midget and pretend he's a ventriloquist's dummy.
  • From Name That Itch's link: Discover how you can truly access and recapture the experience of yourself when you are coming from magnificence. I fully intend to employ the phrase "coming from magnificence" the next ten times I have sex with my wife. I'll probably, you know, holler it there toward the end. Coming from magnificence!
  • Cropshy - you had me at "willing midget"