November 30, 2004

• the banner ad at the bottom of the page... the sexual kung fu institute?! (NSFW) W T F ? ?
• Rodger, this. is. the. RULIEST. I fear full-contact sparring with any practitioner of ... Sexual Kung-Fu. And what's up with that photo? It's the pixel equiv of soft-focus photography.
• Last night, I tied some girl up with my black belt in sexual kung fu.
• Master Bristol during private meditation have elevated himself 2 inches off the ground for more than 1 minute. The practice involves a complex method of lightening the body weight.... Ancient wisdom from the low-carb school of kung fu. Grasshoppers are all protein. Think about it.
• It gets weirder. One of "Master" Bristol's system's weapons is your own erect penis (which can be made instantly erect through breathing method) to poke body cavities, pressure points, and eyes. The deadly dong of death, poking... body cavities. Heh. And lest we forget the female of the species, far deadlier than the male: One of the most fantastic tactics that Master Bristol has personally developed is the vaginal pressure technique. Special exercises will allow any woman to contract her vaginal muscles with up to 50 pounds of pressure, enough to crack any man's genital. This is no joke. This site just keeps giving and giving. Bliss.
• oh, help me... this is too weird...