November 17, 2004

Join the Movement! The Vegetable Rights Militant Movement (VRMM) is a nationally active, grassroots, vegetable liberation and defense organization. The VRMM differs from other vegetable activist organizations in that it really does all that it can to stop people from torturing, killing, humiliating, and ultimately eating vegetables and fruits. Please wont you stop the cruelty?
posted by beeza 20 years ago
  • Brilliant. Won't someone think of the chilies?
  • And the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust." And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus.
  • shawnj's not an automatic winner, but he's definitely pulled to the front of the pack!
  • Homunculus: That's immediatly what I thought of too...
  • My pal Jason Webley has dealt with this in music: Back to the Garden. Listen to it here.
  • I pick up the apple and the knife, and carefully pierce the crisp red peel, barely nicking the juicy white flesh. Slowly, I begin cutting the peel from the apple, cupping it in my hand and turning it to remove the peel in one long tangy strip. I bite the delicious red skin into small pieces with eager sharp teeth. When the apple lies with its white interior exposed on my palm, I run my tongue over the surface to savor the sweet juice. Then I pierce the delicate flesh ... /fruit porn
  • Women abuse cucumbers!
  • First, they peel the carrots! Then slice them! Or dice them! Oh, see! o yes they mash the wintry squash! they whip the innocent pertaters, they roast and boil them and turn them into hash! They peel the skins from onions! Then have the gall to weep! Strip the sinews off the green bean! And then they juices the termaters!