November 13, 2004

Pentagon builds its own Internet "This 'Internet in the sky' would allow 'marines in a Humvee, in a faraway land, in the middle of a rainstorm, to open up their laptops, request imagery' from a spy satellite, and 'get it downloaded within seconds.'" "Pentagon traditionalists, however, ask if net-centric warfare is nothing more than an expensive fad."
  • Alright. Bring on the military-grade porn.
  • Again? Jeez, they need to build one internet and stick with it.
  • Rumors of the internets!
  • There'd better be kittens on this one too. Really. No kittens, I'd be very, very worried.
  • "....... - enough to give front-line soldiers bandwidth equal to downloading three feature-length movies a second." I foresee problems.
  • Holy shit. Kitty movies. This is gonna rule.
  • Holy shit. Kitty movies. This is gonna rule. Just say no.
  • "_______ traditionalists, however, ask if net-centric _______ is nothing more than an expensive fad." Fill in the blanks, kids!
  • I heard the soldiers will get Aeron chairs and free massages in their foxholes. Also enemy countries will have to watch a 90 second Flash intro with techno music before being invaded.
  • But will they be able to get that same download rate on Mars?
  • I heard the soldiers will get Aeron chairs and free massages in their foxholes. It'd be well worth it if both sides would agree to fight only with Nerf bats.
  • And nobody has thought of Skynet yet?
  • Soldier A: We've got our orders, let's move out. Soldier B: STFU F@G! 1'm p|4y1n6 c0un73r-57r1k3! I foresee problems as well.
  • can it kill goats?
  • I foresee problems as well. Broken spell-checkers?