November 12, 2004

Are You An "Abductaholic"? Have you been shown an alien child or your hybrid child? If so, you will need special help. Fill out our Exorcism Application and mail it today.

If you are being attacked in a dream or in person by a demon, devil, incubus, succubus, Satan, unclean spirit, unclean bird or alien, then please read through the Recipe for Self Deliverance. Please pay special attention to Rule 6, and give cheerfully of your finances!

posted by Nickdanger 20 years ago
  • You know, the only thing more scary than a web page like this, is to try and figure out what Nickdanger was searching for when he found it... Nick, would you like to explain this to us???
  • That's between me and the quidnunc kid.
  • I'm like an Abductaholic, except instead of being abducted, I drink vodka every day.
  • I'm like a chocaholic, but with booze. Personally, I find most of my weird internet links by using the "Any Three Words" free-association rule. That rule being, do a search on any three words, no matter how unrelated/nonsensical/disgusting they might be together, and chances are good you'll find a website devoted to it. A suitably horrifying example: Used Condom Collection. Do you feel lucky? Well do ya, PUNK?
  • That's between me and the quidnunc kid And out mutual love of certain scenes in the movie "deliverance".
  • Ant oar bud spilling :(
  • begin narcolepsy-inducing personal anecdote... Not as many know this, but the movie The Exorcist is based on an actual event that took place in St. Louis in the 1940s. When I was a reporter, for a Halloween feature story I interviewed the roommate of one of the priests that participated in the exorcism. He'd read the priest's personal journal of the event, and recalled some of that priest's stories concerning the event. I don't remember much of the conversation, but I do recall the phrase "scared shitless" mentioned several times. Anyway, the discussion turned to exorcisms in general, and priest I was interviewing said that the Archdiocese of St. Louis conducts, on average, a couple dozen exorcisms a year. I apparently goggled at this, because the priest added that (a) they usually don't like to advertise that particular fact, and (b) most of them are along the lines of devout Catholic families buying a new house, and asking a priest to come and exorcise the property, to chase off whatever supernatural flora and fauna that might be lurking there. "Most?" I asked. He went on to admit that perhaps a quarter of those couple dozen exorcisms a year are performed on actual people thought to be possessed by demons. The priest further went to say that he felt that most of *those* possessions were probably rather standard, if rare, mental illnesses (schizophrenia, presumably), but that there were a couple, every year, that he considered psychologically unexplainable. He also allowed that, for those, exorcisms typically seemed to help. end anecdote
  • Your mother sews socks that smell.
  • I had absolutely no idea. I've seen charismatics do plenty of castings-out, but I'd always perceived the Catholic Church to be less, I don't know, nutty about stuff like that nowadays. Of course, IANAC.
  • I was saddenned to see that fairly recently, famous alien-abductee Betty Hill has passed away. She sounds like she was quite a cool person and I hope she rests in peace.
  • From the questionnaire: I am a vegetarian: Yes No tries to come up with a witty possibly sarcastic response but falls terribly short