November 10, 2004

• Is this like Pokemon for adults?
• Passive aggressive
• Serenity now!
• Can't we just sit down and have a nice cup of hot tea?
• Marriage: The Gathering.
• tenacious: bwaaaaaaahaahaaa!!
• Not one of these cards has the words "fucking lying psycho bitch" on it. What the hell good are they?
• That's the part you're supposed to fill in, Rocket88. I feel bad because: "you're a fucking lying psycho bitch." In the best of all possible worlds: "I would have an airtight alibi."
• Serenity now! Hoochie Mama!!
• In my marriage, the combination of shrieking (him) and silent treatment (me) has been working great for almost 5 years! (shaking with impotent rage)
• What is wrong with just having separate residences and emailing? Is this aimed at the poor or something? Myself, when something is wrong with my relationship with my significant other, I like to let her know my leaving a semen sample on another person.
• This is no good because it allows you to express your feelings instead of staying in practice at pushing them down inside you.
• This is a lot better than my idea where you engraved your feelings on the side of a bullet...
• Are you kidding? This is the best idea ever! Imagine the delight of waking up every morning, not knowing if you're going to find one of these little cards secreted somewhere around the house! Perhaps in the laundry hamper, or tucked into the frame of the bathroom mirror. Oh, what a treat it would be! Picture the anticipation! I wouldn't AT ALL start breaking into a cold sweat at the sight of a little white card glaring at me from its new perch across the room. No sir! IT'D BE LIKE EASTER ALL YEAR LONG!
• I'd take it a step further, in honor of Tenacious' brilliant suggestion. You're randomly dealt a series of response cards, and you can only play something in your hand. Imagine the joy of having to respond to "You forgot our anniversary" with either, "Your mother is a nosy bitch" or "Goddamn, your ass is huge!"
• "I'll block you 'Why don't you get off the couch and help me with the dishes' by playing my 'Remember when you made out with Carl Jenkins at the Christmas Party' interrupt! And it only costs me THREE NIGHTS OF NO SEX MANNA! Haha!" In some ways, arguing would be a lot more fun that way. At least there'd be rules. :D
• You always play the Carl Jenkins card, which plays right into my hand, because now I can play the "You always play the Carl Jenkins card" card in defense mode, allowing me to tap all your No-Sex Manna cards and play the "If you were a real man, I wouldn't have had to make out with Carl Jenkins" card in combination with the "Are you _sure_ you've been able to give me an orgasm?" card. Unless you've got "I'm secretly gay and sleeping with your father" in your hand, then you've been owned.
• pwned! ;)
• Since I can't possibly compete with FYKshun's card fighting-foo (plus, I left my single-guy millennium item at home), I'll just point out that the back of the actual card in question reminds me a lot of Chickenhead.com's Instant Bureaucracy.
• It would be awesome to keep these cards as relationship souvenirs, though. One word: decoupage.
• You people are sick. I like you.
• We need to forward this thread to these guys, stat! I mean, if they can make a playable Time Cube game, who knows what they could do with a relationship/argument game? Suggestions for cards, anyone?
• How did you clever monkeys find me, anyway? As the self-appointed Queen of the Ouch Empire, I must tell you: I absolutely LOVED your rant about the OK. Various family members--whose names wouldn't be that hard to find, since I have a small family--have been pressuring me to add "Drop Dead" and "Fuck You" cards ever since I designed the set. They've all either been, or currently are unhappily married and more than a bit cynical about all this healthy communication rot. I'm right in the midst of re-thinking and re-designing my website with the help of a very clever Irish guy living in Romania, so it's the perfect time for you chimps to weigh in on what would make it more fun, more interactive and more interesting. I do still want to promote The OuchKit. Even if I hadn't come up with the idea, I'd still want to sell it. It's pretty amazing, especially what it does for men. But I want the site to be more than a place for people to buy things. I want it to be a place for people to have fun--like you guys apparently are doing. So, check out the site, and tell me what you'd like to see there. I'm open to suggestions for columns, questions, new card suggestions, cool flash applications (like me OuchKit E-cards), and anything else you think would make it a place you'd want to hang out in. Thanks. I love that I found you. The Ouch Queen