November 07, 2004

• Ra, that's absolutely terrible. I am so sorry. If the cat had no collar, then its owners were derelict in their duty. You have no responsibility in turn to locate the owner. I think that you should give your boys an extra cuddle tonight, perhaps cry a little bit, then accept that: sometimes bad things happen, and sometimes you have to be the instrument of those bad things. Again, I am so sorry. I'll now go find a furball of my own for a while.
• First of all, I'm really sorry that happened - life sucks ass sometimes. Mainly, as a cat owner yourself, I think that you don't want the owner to not know what happened to their cat. It was an accident, so don't beat yourself up over that part of it. What I would do is maybe put up a poster around the neighbourhood, saying something like; "Look, I'm really sorry, but I have accidently run over and killed a cat. If you have a missing kitty that looks like _________ , this may be your cat. I have kitties of my own, and know how upset I would be to never know what had happened to one if it went missing. I'm so very sorry that this happened, but I want you to know it was very quick and your kitty did not suffer." (white lie here is permissable if needed). If I were you, I would not put my name and number on the poster. It won't bring the kitty back, the people already know it was an accident, and you will get nutjobs calling you if you do. That way they know, you did your duty informing them, and that's probably about as good as a lousy situation like this one is going to get.
• PS - describe the kitty in as much detail as you can, so they'll know for sure it was theirs. If they want to ask further questions, they'll most likely leave a note on your poster with a phone number, and you can decide to call them or not.
• If you don't feel comfortable putting up a phone number, you could put up a temporary hotmail adress. I would give them an oportunity to contact you, because it means that they can check for themselves that it's the right cat, and get closure. Honestly, if they talk to you they'll see how truely sad and sorry you are, and that will help them feel better. I'm so sorry to hear about the kitty. It does credit on you that you feel such compassion.
• Ditto on all of above---and perhaps a $ contribution to a local pet charity. Might make you feel a bit better.
• How sad, yes I agree with all of the above except, *If the cat had no collar, then its owners were derelict in their duty.* I am a cat owner, one of my cats is an inside cat, she hates outside. The other is in and out, at his will. He wears no collar, because he could get caught in a fence or some other such hazard, and hang himself (had this happen to one of my cats, found him dead on a fence, hanging by his collar). I tried breakaway collars, but after him losing 4 of them, I figured it was a waste of time to buy another. So, the fact that the cat had no collar, doesn't necessarily mean the owner is derelict in their duties as a cat owner.
• The cat might have an identity chip. Safer and more informative than a collar. If so, it will need to go to the vet to have its chip read.
• Or maybe the Humane Society or Animal Control can help you find out if it's chipped.
• Geez, I am not quite awake yet. What I meant to say and should have said first is Ramix, I am so sorry. I know it feels like it, but it's really not your fault. Please hug your kitties lots, they'll understand.
• I'm so very sorry for your situation. You are doing the right thing by considering ways to contact the owner. This is a delicate situation and requires some thought. You'll know what the right action is when it comes to light. A neighbor came around a while back with a polaroid of a cat that had been hit by a car on the busy street she lived on. We did not recognize the cat but we talked with this neighbor that we did not know before for a few minutes and I think we all got some comfort from the chat. Another time when I lived on a busy street a cat got hit in front of my place and I had no way of knowing who the owner was. I did not know what to do. My neighbor and I put the cat in a clean, box on a pretty towel with a note about what happened and left him near the curb so that if the owner drove by they might see him. This was hard to decide what to do but the next day I saw the owner picking up his cat. I went to talk with him and tell him I was sorry and what I knew about his cat's death. He was glad to have some answers and I think that we both got some comfort in talking with another person, however brief, about it. Try not to feel guilt about this. You are contributing to the care of cats with your own. Sometimes crummy sad things just happen despite all our attempts to avoid them.
• That's really terrible. My cats are indoor-only, and plump, and do not wear collars. However, they are microchipped. If (god forbid) one of them got out and was hit by a car, I would hope that somehow I would be able to recover the remains - or at least to find out what happened. Nothing sucks worse than an unanswered question, even if the answer is very sad. If you're squeamish about handling the remains, Animal Control will respond to calls and come pick them up for you. (It's a public health issue more than a kindness.) They scan for chips on every incoming animal (dead or alive), and notify the chip company in case of a match. The chip company will then notify the owner in turn. Even if the cat isn't chipped, Animal Control keeps records of descriptions and locations of DOA animals, and anyone looking for their missing pet will (I should think) show up at Animal Control at some point. If this isn't an option, then I'd second the various strategies here for getting the word out. You don't have to go too far - most cats don't stray more than half a mile from home. Posters, door-to-door, an ad in the classified section, or a little roadside sign at the scene of the "incident" are all really good ideas. RaeRae, your preparation of the body with note is a really nice gesture, and I will remember it for future (hopefully not!) use. So much more humane for the owner than finding the body just lying there on the sidewalk. Ramix, you don't owe the owners anything more than the truth about what happened, and your most sincere apologies. Don't hate yourself. These things happen, even to good people. Just do what you need to do so that you can look back on this and think "I did the best I could."
• the fact that the cat had no collar, doesn't necessarily mean the owner is derelict in their duties as a cat owner I'm sorry, bratcat. I am overly telegraphic at times. No such judgement was intended. I meant to imply that by chipping or collaring a cat, an owner does their part to ensure that they learn of a cat's fate, should an accident come to pass. If the owner didn't do their part, Ramix shouldn't feel bound to take heroic measures to take up the slack. Doorbelling, etc. I think that the poster is a very nice idea. Neither of my old boys is collared, shabby sentinels of the sofa that they are. Nor, unfortunately, was the still-missed little old man that I lost on the street last year. I couldn't keep a collar on the little guy, and always dreaded his dashes outside, knowing that one of them would be one-way. I was fortunate that my neighbor found his carcass and called me to gather the remains. We absolutely will chip our new kitten.
• No problem, goetter. I just wanted to clarify that collars can be dangerous, so a cat not wearing one doesn't indicate always dereliction on the owners part, although it could. Thank you for your clarification. Chips are a good idea, I agree.
• Indicate always, should read, always indicate.
• The owners are also likely to hang a sign of their own, once they realize the cat has been gone too long. That'll give you a chance to contact them.
• Ramix, I am sorry you had this happen. I think moneyhane's suggestions are excellent. In the event you don't locate the owner, you might want to consider a donation to or working with an animal rescue group or something of that sort.
• As penance you should save an adorable little kitty cat from the pound.
• Walk around with the carcass in your hand, knock on neighbor's doors, and ask them if they recognize the cat.
• *sends out love to ramix, cats in general and those specific*
• Ramix, bad things happen to the best of us. I think the poster is a great idea, and probably tack on more profuse and heartfelt apologies. It won't change anything, but I think the owner(s) will at least understand that their pet didn't die from some malicious attack, but it was purely an accident. It may make the grief a little less bitter. Much love to you, and your kitty family. *HUGS* moneyhane's *envisages redhead Chippendale male escort, shivers in delight*
• Well thanks all for the suggestions. I made up a few posters with my email address and stuck them around the neighborhood late last night...so now i'm waiting for some response. Its been a tough weekend for me though, i didnt even have the heart to yell at my kitties for shredding a very expensive silk robe of mine. Actuallysettle, i already have 2 indoor cats that i got from the shelter which i love to bits. And i have been adopted by a stray and her two kittens, so any more cats and i'll become the cat lady everyone loves to hate! Thanks for all the support monkeys. At least i dont feel too much like a murderer anymore!