November 04, 2004

Yasser Arafat: "clinically dead"? Anybody know the difference between being "clinically dead" as opposed to "regular dead"?
posted by pyrrthon1 20 years ago
  • I think that "clinically dead" means that the person is still warm. "Regular dead" means that you can't cut into a person without making a really big mess.
  • Seek and ye shall find: Clinical death is usually defined as the medical state in which it is impossible to revive a person with any technology at medicine's disposal... He won't be coming back.
  • Is he "mostly dead"? Should we rummage through his pockets looking for loose change? Seriously, how is his death going to affect the situation in the Middle East? Perhaps someone more well versed than I in Palestinian affairs could explain to me why we shouldn't be scared shitless about the sudden power vacuum...
  • Clinically dead is when you start watching "The Price Is Right" or any "reality" TV show.
  • I just read on BBC News 24: "BREAKING NEWS: Yasser Arafat Not Dead" I didn't quite understand how that was breaking news, seeing as it's been the case for quite a while. About 74 years, in fact.
  • And, uh, yeah. What Dr. Zira said.
  • Man.... Dr. Zira, now I'm hungry for a nice MLT. Yahoo! News is also reporting that he's not dead.
  • CUSTOMER: Here's one -- nine pence. DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! MORTICIAN: What? CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence. DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead! CUSTOMER: Yes, he is. DEAD PERSON: I'm not! MORTICIAN: He isn't. CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill. DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better! CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment. MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations. DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart! CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby. MORTICIAN: I can't take him... DEAD PERSON: I feel fine! CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor... MORTICIAN: I can't. CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long. MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine today. CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round? MORTICIAN: Thursday. DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk. CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you can do? DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop]
  • Seriously, how is his death going to affect the situation in the Middle East? Two words: Power Vacuum.
  • really, shawnj? heh.
  • He's not dead. He's resting.
  • He's pining for the fjords.
  • Beautiful plumage.
  • To have a power vacuum, you need to have power. The Palestinians have none. No matter who rises to fill Arafat's role, he will have the benefit of not being Arafat, so I am optimistic that serious peace talks will resume. Those talks, however, will have the new Palestinian leader on one side of the table, and Israel and the mighty USA and their twin 100-ton hammers on the other side.
  • IMHO, the greatest obstacle to peace is the fact that those trying to broker the peace are both warriors, who, only years earlier were probably actively shooting at each other. Both sides need new leadership. Ideally through some sort of democratic process. That said, if he does die, i'm glad it is nature taking her course, and not violent.
  • errr. violence.
  • This just in: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
  • Bush and the Republiban won't be shedding any tears over this, but at least they can't claim it as a victory.
  • To quote the best line in the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" Ken: Are they all dead? Steve: Deadish.
  • I think it's true love...
  • On the BBC, I just heard the hospital spokesman say Arafat is "alive", but his condition has grown "more complicated", and he has been moved from intensive care to a ward "more suitable for his needs". It don't get more intensive than intensive care, so my guess is that "his needs" are for him to die comfortably, it having been decided he's impossible to save. I'm guessing his move was to a ward with a palliative care room-- a nice comfy home-like room without so much scary-looking medical stuff, where the emphasis is on patient comfort and emotional support to the family, while the patient dies. The compassionate and clinically accurate terminolgy used in the hospitals I've worked at over the years for Arafat's most likely condition is "circling the drain" or alternatively, "PBAB" (pine box at bedside), or "waiting for the celestial consult" or "getting ready for his transfer to ward X".
  • What no FAF (future as fertilizer)?
  • On the BBC, I just heard the hospital spokesman say Arafat is "alive", but his condition has grown "more complicated", and he has been moved from intensive care to a ward "more suitable for his needs". Or perhaps he was moved to a better hospital and upgraded from dead to alive.
  • Sooo...neither entirely alive nor entirely dead...does this mean Arafat's finally accepted a two-state solution? sorry, Monkeys...couldn't help myself...
  • err, can we have his liver then?
  • That loose change rattling around in his pockets is allegedly close to $300 million dollars. Let distribute it amongst the poor Palastinians. After all, I'm sure that's what he would have wanted.
  • 'Clinically dead' means you've copped it in a clinic, dude...jeez, sometimes I wonder about you guys.
  • "Clinical death" in the news usually means brain death. He's probably still on life-support machines that perform circulatory functions, so he's technically alive, but his condition is irreversible. And he will be kept that way until the Palestinians produce a succession plan, IMO.
  • And he will be kept that way until the Palestinians produce a succession plan, IMO So what you're saying is that Arafat is currently on the fast track to becoming the world oldest human?
  • Hopefully "clinically dead" means "no longer able to dispatch 16 year old boys to Tel Aviv to blow themselves up"...and "regular dead" means rotting for an eternity in hell.
  • OK, who wants to start the mysterious disease consiprcay theories? I mean, in hospital for many days, and they still don't know/won't say what's wrong with him? To the tinfoil depository! Right now, I can't decide between it being a genetically engineered virus created by Mossad, it being the AIDS, or it being a fatal error in his cyborg motherboard. Dang. Removing the blinkers of Western capitalist-consumerist orthodoxy is harder than it looks!
  • Mr. Arafat was rushed to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead. He was then immediately taken to a more expensive hospital, where his condition was upgraded to "alive." /Simpsons reference
  • The Globe and Mail says he's in a coma. His inner circle is being very guarded about letting out information about his medical condition, but then that's not unique among ailing world leaders. There have been many high ranking officials that were completely incompetent through illness through a significant part of their terms, and the populace was not told i.e., Churchill, Reagan, FDR.