November 03, 2004

• Wooohoo! I qualify to immigrate to my own country!
• Maybe I could marry into the French-Canadian male stripper industry. Is shaking one's ass considered a skill in Canada?
• If it wasn't sooo cold...
• COOL!
• thanks Koko, you saved me from having to post a Curious George. Currently Canada and Ireland are the options I'm looking into... any Irish monkeys care to share this sort of info? any Canadian/Irish monkeys know of jobs in town/transportation planning?
• Remember, if you want to be a stripper in Canada you must provide a picture of you at work. They have their standards!
• Dear Canada, I'm still a university student with negligible saleable skills, can I just crash on your couch for a few years?
• We bad.
• *wonders if Monkeybashi knows of any similar facilities in Frodo-land*
• Spooky. sure, no problem. only here it's called grad school.
• seriously, if anyone is indeed leaving email me because we're looking at a possible story, thnx
• Remember, if you want to be a stripper in Canada you must provide a picture of you at work. They have their standards! Not the places I've seen, honey.
• Alex Reynolds, Camilo was referring to this.
• I'm sorry but although I've heard a lot of my friends discuss moving out of the U.S., I believe that that is entirely a cop-out. I lived in England for a year, and I came back because I understand the U.S., even if I apparently disagree with a majority of its voters. It is where I want to be; it is my home. And I am going to do what little I can to make my home a better place, depressing as that task seems right now. Leaving it will not change things. In a sense, that's how we got to where we are today. With the metropolitan/coastal states attracting this country's best and brightest, we have a conservative, ill-educated core made up mainly of the people who couldn't, or didn't care to, leave to pursue their dreams in the city. That's where all the red on the map comes from. If you fellow liberal voters leave, then maybe Pennsylvania will go red in '08. Maybe New Jersey will become a lighter shade of blue, or even a battleground state. Leaving is not the answer, good as it sounds right now. Do you realize how little the Canadian government influences us? Well, if you live there you will, and you will know why Canadians have such a love/hate relationship with us. Of course, maybe you will have a great life in Canada/New Zealand/Ireland/etc., and if you really believe that, you should try it. But you should want to move to the country, not from America. And I can't see it being less frustrating than voting Democratic in a blue state.
• Uhmm, actually, we have standards. They just happen to be very, very low. Note, the mentioned requirement for being a male stripper is to shake their derri
• Fishtick: Dancers from the United States, St. Pierre-Miquelon, and Greenland are exempt from these new rules. So how did Greenland swing that, I wonder? Did they stuff soft money campaign contributions under Paul Martin's G-string?
• in other immigration news: What is an H-1B? The H-1B is a nonimmigrant classification used by an alien who will be employed temporarily in a specialty occupation or as a fashion model of distinguished merit and ability. (that's the only thing that's made me giggle today)
• Sidedish: Thanks for the laugh!
• There's no four-digit code for "Def Leppard cover band" on that test. I'm screwed.
• Thanks for the post. Vancouver, here i come!!!!
• So how did Greenland swing that, I wonder? Alex Reynolds: Greenland contributed cash towards preserving Canada's National Igloo.
• There's no four-digit code for "Def Leppard cover band" on that test. I'm screwed. There's a four-digit code for "Rush groupie". Maybe you could convert.
• There's a four-digit code for "Rush groupie". Maybe you could convert. Groupies of the band, or groupies of Limbaugh? A tiny majority of the voting public seem to be the latter, so my job wouldn't exactly be unique.
• Yeah, but they get the good drugs.
• I visited the National Igloo once. The cafeteria donuts were exquisite.
• Mmmmm....maple donuts....
• I just found out that my grandfather was born in Canada. Does this help me in any way if I want to immigrate to Canada?
• Apparently it's not that easy: A reader’s guide to expatriating on November 3
• The NZ Immigration Service The Points System for skilled migration to NZ
• "To be considered for immigration to New Zealand as a Skilled Migrant, you must meet the following pre-requisites and basic requirements before lodging an Expression of Interest. * you must be of good character" Crap. It figures...
• jeblis, isn't that a riot? i love the stuff about o'keefe. poor guy.
• I go off for lunch and come back to find the Curious George question I was going to post... are there any monkeys here who have done it? weather notwithstanding, what should we know about emigrating? is it the socially-enlightened land it seems to be from a few hundred miles south? or is the grass not as green as it looks?
• sorry - should have specified US to Canada, not NZ.
• the_bone Rush is a Canadian band.
• I qualify! Just barely, but if I can get a job offer, my points would definitely go over. Also, I couldn't tell if my job qualifications are in a growth industry, cluster or job shortage, cos the explanatory pages wouldn't load. *feeling hopeful for the first time today*
• You can come stay with us until you get sorted, Alnedra. :)
• Having looked a NZ over the past 6 months I can state that unless you are exactly what they are looking for (and it's pretty narrow) then even then it's not easy to get in. Some regulations are set to change Dec 1 to make it a bit easier, but right now NZ has the most stringent requirements for immigration of any country I know of.
• Oh well. It'll be nice to dream about it. I'll wait till I get my M.Sc. first. Thank you, Monkeybashi :) I'll make you Chinese tea everyday if I do stay there!
• NOTE: It's much easier to get Permanent Resident status in Canada than it is to get citizenship. You don't need to become a citizen to live here, work here and get government healthcare benefits. The ONLY advantage of becoming a citizen, that I can see, is being able to vote in the federal elections. My father-in-law emigrated here from Australia in the 1960's and he's still not a citizen. That said, you DO need to be a permanent resident before you can receive healthcare and work, unless you qualify as a "skilled worker". For me, it was 9 months after moving here before I became a permanent resident, with my husband sponsoring me.
• Alex Reynolds who knows - maybe some other law we have keeps those countries off of the list. Think the goal was to protect women from across the big pond since we have a problem with some of the club owners exploiting those who come here for that kind of work. If anyone decides to move don't forget to pack mitts, parkas, toques, snow shoes cause once you've cross the 49th parallel its all snow, ice, polar bears and igloo's ;)
• If anyone decides to move don't forget to pack mitts, parkas, toques, snow shoes cause once you've cross the 49th parallel its all snow, ice, polar bears and igloo's Don't forget the fur bikinis for the ladies and likewise for the guys. Ho ho ho!
• you guys see this from the canadian immigration people re: fleeing up there after the election? basically says there's a long line.
• from jeblis' link: You might consider moving yourself offshore. At a price of $1.3 million you can purchase an apartment on The World, a residential cruise ship that moves continuously, stopping at ports from Venice to Zanzibar to Palm Beach. Again, however, your expatriation would be only partial: The World flies the flag of the Bahamas, but its homeowners, who hail from all over Europe, Asia, and the United States, retain citizenship in their home nations. To obtain a similar result more cheaply, you can simply register your own boat under a flag of convenience and float it outside the United States’ 230-mile zone of economic control. There, on your Liberian tanker, you will essentially be an extension of that African nation, subject only to its laws, and may imagine yourself free of oppressive government. MONKEYFILTER PARTY BOAT!!!
• Emigrant's guide to Canada. British Columbia - Too trendy. Rents range from $8,500/mo to $17,300/mo. Alberta - Too cold. Saskatchewan - Too cold. Manitoba - Way too cold. Ontario - Kinda like Michigan, all Republican-slanted, but Toronto's supposed to be cool (see B.C.). Quebec - Culture shock. Maritimes - Too far from everything. Yukon - Too cold. NWT - Too cold. Mining & petro culture. Nunavut - Can't take a Penske truck up there.
• Quebec - Culture shock Quebec's another country, alright. It's Canada's Texas.
• We were just chatting last night and I suggested that we should find a 'sugar daddie' for me, who would cover the cost of the mortgage, for a piece of paper and no other obligation. Doesn't matter to me if I have another ex out there. I can use the extra money every month. Anyone know any fools ready to marry a middle-aged monkey for the honour of her shared citizenship rights? It really isn't that cold, you know. I've still got flowers blooming all over the place here in Ontario and it's democratic where I am, to boot.
• What SideDish said: Unhappy Democrats Must Wait to Get Into Canada [Aboot 1 year] btw, canada sucks. ;p
• Also, I couldn't tell if my job qualifications are in a growth industry, cluster or job shortage, cos the explanatory pages wouldn't load. Alnedra, I see you are having a fairly typical interaction with the Canadian government.
• Ontario - Kinda like Michigan, all Republican-slanted, but Toronto's supposed to be cool (see B.C.) also too cold, and see B.C.'s rents
• Also, we have testicle-eating moose.
• Doesn't matter to me if I have another ex out there. I can use the extra money every month. Anyone know any fools ready to marry a middle-aged monkey for the honour of her shared citizenship rights? This NAFTA thing is great. Canada's economy will definitely pick up now.
• rolypolyman, you left Newfoundland (not considered one of the Maritime Provinces) off your list - English as she is spoke nowhere else, b'y!. And I would say that the Maritimes are just far enough from everything. Lovely.
• Favorite Newfie-isms; Stunned as me arse b'y. Stay where ya be b'y an' I'll come where yer to.
• Alberta - Too cold. *Even more conservative than Ontario - home of Refooooorm!' aka the new 'conservative party', Preston Manning, Ralph Klein and others. I would be more likely to call Alberta the, 'northern texas' over Quebec.
• Please. Canada doesn't have a Texas. The truth is Canada is way less conservative than the US, especially on social issues. Alberta is especially fiscally conservative, sure, but not in the neoconservative spend-money-we-don't-have- while-cutting-taxes sense. Even there, you won't see Alberta do something really American, like dismantle the public health care system, despite what some on the left say. Quebec, though, is far more willing to censor and regulate behavior in the name of language laws and identity. Whether that's right or not is largely a matter of perspective, I suppose.
• ok, A dead quaker and others... I got home tonight and had a long talk with my husband. we decided to stay and fight. I guess when the adrenaline hit we both had the flight response first... but as the day wore on (and after my initial post in this thread) I realized it would be a betrayal of my values to turn tail and split. So we ponied up $75 for the ACLU and resolved not to let ourselves down by giving up our home. thanks to everyone here (and in other threads) who pointed out all the good reasons to stay.
• True, we don't come close to what texas republicans are like and in terms of politics we don't have a comparable republican party. I was coming from the point of it being an province that has oil, cattle, ranchers, holds the Calgary Stampede every year and is more conservative than the rest of the country. It is like saying BC is full of pot smoking, pot growing, granola eating hippies, trying to sneak pot into the USA in their brightly painted, converted school buses to finance their next production of Hair. No harm at poking fun at yourself once and awhile ;)
• It seems, from this, that there have been many enquiries into new worlds.
• I was going to make this a front-page post, but this thread seems more appropriate: Marry an American: a website where selfless single Canadians provide an opportunity for disenfranchised Americans to take the easy way to a better life (and free health care). As a selfless single Canuck myself, I'd be more than willing to extend this offer to the right US monkeyette.
• It's a trap! Run away, run away!
• did all we monkeys start this?
• (got a login?)
• stinky@youstink.com stinkypete
• Thanks, rocket88. The article does sound a little...monkeycentric.
• Sorry about that link. I'd forgotten that they'd become a registered site. Maybe soon we will have a big monkey meet-up in Canada.
• Time for a Rainbow-Bridge-like ode to monkeys who cross over to Canada. Sniffle.
• You like us, you really like us. (Warning to Americans considering New Zealand: John Kerry would be a right-winger here. You cannot carry firearms around town. It is almost impossible to own a handgun as a private citizen. There is no death penalty. We do not give married people piles of tax breaks for being married. We have ACC, not big fat lawsuits. We do not invoke dieties at the drop of a hat; if all this sounds too alarmingly liberal, please go to Australia instead).
• Rodgerd, it sounds like heaven on a stick. Chocolate covered.
• (Some) NZers really have the most terrible chip about Australia. The poor lambs.
• Wolof- point of interest. I have no idea how generalized this is in North America, but I have noticed a distinct tendency in my small part of it to see NZ as vaguely analogous to Canada, and Australia as much more like USA, political-wise and national temperament-wise. How do things look from there? Is this way off base?
• I think I'll let a Kiwi answer that.
• Hope I haven't offended, and don't mean to derail! But after all, it does somewhat de-derail I guess. Any other North Americans have opinions on this?
• political-wise and national temperament-wise I don't think any country can be clearly defined as one or the other on such things except in the most generic terms and categories. A democratic decision does not mean that true homographic-type body exists. The latter depends on the viewer and their perspective and paradigm.
• Well, I think in general, one can see a bit of a difference between Canada and the US with regards to Kyoto Accord, healthcare (however weak), marijuana decriminalisation, gay marriage, etc. I'm not doing the T-thing here, just extending the metaphor a bit. Maybe we ain't got none of them para-diggems here?
• I've heard it said that Canadians and Americans are essentially the same, and the only way to tell them apart is to say that to a Canadian. I imagine it's similar between Kiwis and Aussies.
• rocket88: Yes, and no. fish tick: Australia tends to be politically to the right of New Zealand, so there's some basis for the comparison. Australia tends to be (as a nation) more confident than New Zealand. So yeah, there's certainly some basis for that comparison, especially since New Zealand has become significantly more liberal in my lifetime, while Australia seems to have dragged quite rightward.
• rocket88 - Very true, in the Canuck-Yankee case, at least. Though you could ask them to talk about Canada. Though otherwise the northern American would sound exactly like the Canadian, and vice versa, the American would say "about Keyanada" and the Canadian would said "aboot Canada". The accent different from NZ to Australia is more noticable, though I have been picked out as Canadian by Americans, picked out other Canadians (usually by word choice than straight accent), and, of course, the similarity only exists between Americans from the north half of the country, or the west coast - Southerners have a very different accent, and mid-westerners a somewhat different accent.
• I agree with rocket88 in that saying that to a Canadian will get the blood flowing but I disagree that it is the only way to tell the two apart. It reminds me a little of the other thread with the quiz about guessing who is korean, japanese or chinese. We aren't the same. There isn't anything necessarily striking about the differences, ie: we ride magic carpets, they don't. But we are very different from each other in sooo many regards. Our view of the world, our place in it, our language, laws, holidays we celebrate (Americans don't celebrate boxing day) We consume American culture and eat American food but that doesn't make us 'the same'. Here is something relating to the initial topic of Americans thinking about coming here. A editorial at canoe.ca (humourous tongue-n-cheeck look at immigration procedures)
• American Peace Activists Denied Entry to Canada After Appearing on FBI Database