October 29, 2004

"Occasionally, a homosexual tries to masturbate by lubricating the mouth of a suitable bottle."
From the "Amazing Information on Homosexuals" Page. "Similarly, one could hate Jar Jar Binks ®, but nobody fears him. Homosexuals and homophiles know this, and they define homophobia in terms of hatred of homosexuals or homosexuality." This guy has a separate address for HATE MAIL. Unintentionally hysterical in the most unpleasant way.
  • In France, they call Jar Jar Binks "Chou Chou Binks". I don't think it's all that difficult to guess what that might mean.
  • This site oozes repressed sexuality. Just look at the graphic design and obsession with fashion models.
  • I think it just oozes.
  • Wow. Somebody really needs to be taught the difference between cause, effect, correlations, epiphenomena, cross-sectional studies, longitudinal studies, data, anecdotes, and shit that's just made up.
  • The only person to whom it is not obvious that E.H. is virulently anti-homosexual and would be even in the absence of any "data": Erik Holland!
  • Monkeyfilter: for the love of God, don't ask how I found it.
  • I get the ha-ha...just don't get anything else. What a creep.
  • Damn that baby jeebus... It makes the baby ME cry. I doin't get it...why do you christers get it ????????????????????????
  • From the site tracicle linked: "In the old days, young people were told all sorts of crazy things about masturbation that weren't true." Go read the site, including its stern warnings, then decide whether things are so different from the old days.
  • BTW, I'm having a hard time deciding if the original link is parody, paranoia, hate, bad taste or a combination thereof.
  • Death to extremists!
  • In France, they call Jar Jar Binks "Chou Chou Binks". Cabbage Cabbage Binks?
  • Can someone please tell me what constitutes a "suitable bottle?"
  • One you won't get stuck in and require the removal services of an emergency room nurse, one assumes. Having lived next door to one such nurse for years, I can assure you that these sorts of stories do indeed get told, in vivid detail. Sometimes with accompanying x-rays.
  • If I masterbate with the mouth of a suitable bottle, does that make me a homosexual? Just askin.
  • Hey, that's nothing compared to what heteros get up to. I remember when I was 14 and the couch cushions just seemed to be GAGGIN' for it! I'd post some links, but I know you guys know what I'm talking about.
  • Having read and assimilated the site tracicle linked to, I finally understand for the first time what Daisy May was really trying to tell us...
  • Did someone mention weird ideas about masturbation?! I collected a bunch for one of my classes: Documents on Victorian Sexuality Skip right down to the Kellogg for the really good stuff.
  • "http://www.healthystrokes.com" failed to load Heh.
  • Now my jizz don't jump To the beat of just one pump! What might be fine for some Just ain't gonna make me cum! Now a man gets bored With a bad technique! You need some healthy strokes To make his semen leak! Cos it takes Healthy Strokes, It takes Healthy Strokes, It takes Healthy Strokes to sorry that just popped in my head there
  • I'm tempted to make a website documenting the deviant behaviour of sexually repressed conservatives. Oh wait, the Smoking Gun took care of that already.
  • We're not all perverts! Wait, never mind.
  • "Click here to download a zipped file showing a male homosexual transvestite simultaneously accommodating three fists in his rectum." Nope, no repressed sexuality for this guy. (And the odd thing is that the three fists all belong to women. Maybe he had to watch the rest of this film, just to make sure the transvestite was actually a homosexual. Research purposes only, of course.)
  • "Click here to download a zipped file showing a male homosexual transvestite simultaneously accommodating three fists in his rectum." Wow, it's like pornography, but in PDF form!
  • "Upon getting anal fissures, rather than refraining from inserting objects in their rectum, homosexuals use butt plugs or rectal dilators to help accommodate penises or other objects (see here)." um, no thanks. and, no, we don't.
  • tracicle, I um...how did... Oh geez, never mind!
  • Footnotes: [1] Two of these sources, namely the Fagbashers of America and The American Guardian were Christian websites that had compiled gay terminology from gay erotica. Remarkably, people behind The American Guardian even had the stomach to scan gay erotica and put up pictures of homosexual “perversions” for others to see. You don't say? That certainly is remarkable. Considering they're so completely straight and everything. (The list of Gay Slang is hysterical. I'd love to see somebody compile a guide to how heterosexuals speak based on straight porn...)
  • dng: For the Jar Jar thing, "chou" is commonly just a term of endearment like sweetie or honey, but "chou chou" means a suck up or a teacher's pet. I don't know which they meant, could be either.
  • hmmm....WOW...there are so many things about being gay that I didn't know! I guess now I'm gonna go and stick three fists up my ass...
  • from the glossary: "TROLL: a
  • quidnunc is a mighty god. AUM!
  • "COFFIN QUEEN: a homosexual who prefers to sodomize dead bodies."
  • "GOLDEN SHOWER: being bathed in urine sprinkled from a penis or vagina." Oh, man... sprinkled from where? That's gross.
  • For instance, xia zhuan, i.e., “intimacy with a brick” is slang for homosexuality in Japanese, and has an unknown origin. This was one of the footnotes at the bottom of the glossary. Does xia zhuan strike anyone else as being so incredibly not japanese as to be chinese? oh, and yeah, that site is a serious wack job.
  • Can someone please tell me what constitutes a "suitable bottle?" One that's hot and, you know, kind of sleazy.
  • "One that's hot and, you know, kind of sleazy." that's just great - can't a bottle look sexy without everybody getting the wrong idea? next thing you know, you're going to say the bottle was "asking for it". but on point, I think the top and bottom friends of mine are going to have a problem with his definitions of "top" and "bottom".
  • For the Jar Jar thing, "chou" is commonly just a term of endearment like sweetie or honey, but "chou chou" means a suck up or a teacher's pet. I don't know which they meant, could be either. Cheers. My French isn't very good, as you can see...
  • Wait. I was gone all week. *accusing look* And... and... the world didn't stop. You all went on withOUT me! And um... I haven't got a funny quip for this thread. *weeps*
  • Wait. You mean to tell me that 'banana' is homosexual slang for penis? So all this banana-giving we monkeys do is really..... oh my.
  • You didn't know that, PatB? You really ought to read the memos.
  • I told you those peels were toxic! Barrel's over there, if anyone wants to put the peels in it.
  • Chou Chou = great flaming fag.
  • "I don't wanna be straight, Football makes me masterbate..." Gay Boy by Futon.
  • Oh, gross! Now we're supposed to peel them?
  • Eric Holland correctly labelled his site. "Amazing" means baffling, bewildering, perplexing. His site is all these things.
  • I agree with those who see some repression going on there. He reminds me of that idiot Orson Scott Card, and his crappy writing, while not as florid, is just as poorly executed.