October 27, 2004
The hellacious terribleness of monkeys
"...monkeys may pull down drapes, shred cloth, chew wood, spill drinks, steal food, take possession of articles and refuse to return them*, damage house plants, torment other household pets, soil or stain furniture, tip chairs, break knickknacks, ink pens or dishes, tear books and papers, get into cleaning fluids or baking ingredients, open drawers, cabinets, unlock or open inside and outside house doors, open refrigerators and windows, remove window screens, open baby proof latches and lids, break glass, push large pieces of furniture over, urinate into television sets or other electronic equipment ect."
* reason why monkeys are prohibited by law from working in high-end auction houses or jewelry stores.
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... urinate into television sets or other electronic equipment etc. Whew... I was worried that I was the only one peeing on my PS2.... I don't call it my Piss2 for nuthin', you know...
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The Unbearable Lightness of Monkeys
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Is that a monkey in your rocket, or are you just happy to see me?
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"I could do without watching the monkey bathe in the sink."
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That monkey made the orange juice you're drinking.
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When I was 9 years old I wanted a pet monkey reeeeeeeeeeal bad. I'm glad I got over it.
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But some cute photos here
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Monkey do not remain status quo. Monkey become dynamic, highly readable, a feast for the eyes, a delight for the ears.
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Do you have a licence for that minkey?
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Or you can have children.
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who the hell keeps a monkey anyway? that's retarded
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Well, quadraplegics keep capuchins to help them with their daily lives.
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Lies!
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Do tricky monkeys lie to their companions to get more bananas?