I'm not sure what's going on with that site, mct.
Whenever I need a laugh, I go through the archives at Skot's site.
That man has me giggling in no time.
"Aww, you know what always cheers me up? Laughing at other people's misfortunes."
I can't imagine why not. I want to see Zyra and the Peter Pan Guy in a bare knuckles cage match.
That would cheer up anybody.
Okay, mct, you'll cheer up when Judas gives you the signal...
Okay, I'm the only one here who got that, but it helped.
So did the image of Zyra vs. Peter Pan Guy.
I have beer at home. I can be there in roughly three hours. Meantime, WTF with that website?
Mickey, I'm checking it out now. Thanks.
Christ. That site made my eyes bleed.
Personally, whenever I need cheering up, I check out the losers at Match.com.
defective yeti currently has a bunch of jokes.
my personal favorite:
Why do ducks have flat feet?
To put out burning camp fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To put out burning ducks.
Yes, the colours are unfortunate, but it's really fascinating. I just found her random "misconception" rants - I love the one about King Canute.
My 4-year-old son's favorite joke, that he made up himself.
Q. What did the table say to the lamp?
A. "Lamps do not talk."
A lot depends on the delivery--a very deadpan, stress-each-word punchline, and the fact that it could either be 4-year-old nonsense or a deeply clever surreal metahumorist conceit.
If you met my son, you might think the latter.
You guys are the best, honestly. Random interweb silliness is cracking my hard candy shell. Bonus points to TP for posting in-jokes that mean absolutely nothing to the other 2136 members.
Now send me money expensive whiskey.
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don't, you get down from a duck.
Also, why do elephants paint their toes red?
So that they can hide in the strawberry patch.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch?
See, it works, doesn't it.
Q: did you know Pinnochio loved animals?
A: It's true. He even had a Wood Pecker.
Q: What happened when Napoleon went to Mount Olive?
A: Popeye got pissed.
A giraffe walks into a bar and says: "the High Balls are on me."
If you really must laugh at others' misfortunes, I find b3ta's question of the week usually does the trick. But not today, apparently. Today, I'm just wallowing in my own misery, thank you very much.
My favourite joke since I was about 7:
What does an elephant do when it rains?
It gets wet ...
One of my favourite sites albino black sheep. Another (NSFW) is weird links link digger deleves into the underbelly of current culture and finds the most bizarre sites.
TenaciousPettle, your boy's joke is incredible--will be shared with family and co-workers--thanks!
My fave: What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
Whenever I need cheering up, I refer to this particular thread from Something Awful.
Here aresomehighlights.
My Cat Annie is brilliant.
My roommate's cat is quite talented, and does play fetch, but nowhere near as brilliant as Annie. Or maybe it's that neither of us would be as good as Zefrank at captioning her :)
So, like, there's these two elephants, right, and they're running around in the jungle, okay, and it's hot, right, so they get all sweaty because they're all running around, right, so, okay, they get dirty because it's the jungle and because it's the jungle, okay, the dirt is mud and plus they're sweaty, and so they decide to take a bath.
So, right, okay, they go to the river, okay, to take a bath, right, and then they're there in the river okay, right, and then one, he's scrubbing his like elephant armpits except he's an elephant so no arms, right, and okay, he asks the other, right, can you, okay, right, pass the soap?
And the other elephant says, he says, right, no soap, radio! Okay? Okay?
Right!
KILLCHEER UP BOB !moneyexpensive whiskey.