October 22, 2004
Quite possible the best (something)awful movie review ever. Without question.
It's a few pages, but this had me literally snarfing over my cereal.
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Nice! I couldn't help but also notice the movie poster re-makes. I snarfed over my sunflower seeds :o)
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Reminds me of another review.... The review for 'Shark Sandwich' was merely a two word review which simply read 'Shit Sandwich'.
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Read this. You'll thank me later. ;E
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I've been a fan of Neill Cumpston's reviews at aintitcool for a while. Some samples: MATRIX: KINGDOM OF ASS-KICKING X2: X MEN KICKING YOU IN THE BALLS SO HARD THAT YOU PUKE ON YOUR BALLS AND ALSO YOUR ASS HOBBIT-MAN: THE KING RETURNS Someone emailed me the link to the Matrix one a while back, and it fucking broke me.
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ASS-KICKING #2: This fight on a playground where like a hundred Smith Dudes are whomping on Neo like a fat girl eating Fiddle Faddle – it’s that intense. Holy shit. The thing goes on for like five minutes and just when you’re thinking, “Fuck you Star Wars George” it goes on for another five minutes and then Neo flies away like that Greatest American Hero dude. 10. Thank you.
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...and also there’s some shit with the elves that’s like being in a fucking candle store for twenty minutes. Holy fucking shit, that's one of the funniest metaphors for boredom I've ever read. Big stupid genius.
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Oh. My. God. Tenacious... That is the shit....