October 07, 2004

• 1. Drunk and disorderly. 2. Reads Mallarm
• Ostentatious hat-wearing. Drunkeness. Tendency to play all the parts in an improvised comic dialogue while drunk. Commenting far too loudly on the appearance, personas, habits and hypothetical life-stories of nearby strangers, while drunk. Attempting to be erudite, while drunk. Laughing or singing for no apparent reason in public places. That sort of thing.
• 1. Picking my boogers while I am driving. 2. Yelling at SUV drivers who take up too much of the narrow roads where I live.
• Picking my nose in public. was that too much information? I'm one of those absent-minded, head-in-the-clouds types who tends to forget he's in public, so I occasionally talk to myself as well.
• 1. Speaking loud in normal conversation so that third parties hear what I say while pretending I don't care. 2. Smile to dogs (not as in "aww cute" but more like as a gretting) and nod when I pass beside them. *shudders*
• 1. have paint on my face 2. wear women's clothing 3. drunk 4. talk to birds, especially swans (seriously, like every other day) 5. Wave at other animals 6. Immitate david bowie immitating andy warhol loudly 7. be sexy
• 1. Saying exactly what I think to people in shops when food/service is bad. Sometimes this can be loud and profanity-laced. This infuriates my wife, although she has been known to do the same thing. Or "get out of my way you stupid old git!" & "Stop palping the bread, you freak!" to other shoppers. 2. I talk to animals. Particularly cats and often even birds! Usually in a rather silly, falsetto piping voice. "Hewwo wittle birdie!" People hear me, & I don't care. I look like a big mean biker, and I baby talk to animals. Silly, eh? I don't know if this is inspiring, but I can't think of anything else. And what Wolof & flashboy do. I try to avoid talking to myself in public, but I often do it when out of my head at home. Only way I can get a decent conversation.
• Oh and I walk around with a pair of orange fiskars in my back jean pocket.
• 2. Smile to dogs (not as in "aww cute" but more like as a gretting) and nod when I pass beside them. Zemat, me too. Thought I was the only one crazy enough to do that.
• What, we're alowed to have more than two? I'd have a list like ActuallySettle.
• I have a tendency to curse a lot. Especially if I am nervous or excited or tired. It's not that I am cursing at someone... it just pops up in my normal speaking. Last week I had to rent a U-haul at the very last minute on a Friday night. The little middle age woman behind the counter let me have one even though I didnt have a reservation, and i was all "Thank you, this is such a fucking relief. You don't know how fucking much this means to me. Jesus fucking christ, I thought I was screwed." My friend kept elbowing me, but I couldn't make it stop.
• Smile to dogs... me too. I actually say "whats up dog" to them, as if they were homies from high school
• 1. obnoxious public habit: probably my mis-typing/spelling errors 2. [that everybody thinks you are crazy for doing] Probably a toss-up between Turkmenbashi and hitching my cuffs up at strategic moments to reveal the mismatched socks Really, how can I tell? Don't know what/if other people are thinking.
• I think we have a few folks who just might qualify for the SK kids super team.
• 1. Letting loose a silent but deadly one in a crowded store then walking away from the resulting invisible cloud of evil. 2. Talking to myself, then, when I realize what I've been doing, pretending to actually be singing a cheerful little tune. dogs always make me smile too
• I'm, like, way smarter than just about everybody. People tend to pick up on this and it annoys them because they are jealous.
• 1) Saying what I think (which is often what other people think but never say). 2) Allegedly migrating my feet over to my partner's legs in the night and then using my toes to knead like a cat while sleeping.
• My friends get annoyed at me 'being rhetorical', which means that I launch into long, parliamentary style, speaches about trivial issues. Also, I have a very annoying laugh. I wish I could change it, but... well it's not one of those things you can self-conciously practice. I would add more about talking to myself and having no social skills, but it seems that's par for the course in these parts.
• 1. I am physically incapable of walking with another person in a straight line - instead I veer towards them and usually end up crashing into them two or three times. Most of my longterm friends have at one time or another admitted to developing denfense tactics for walking with me. 2. I tend to dance and sing in the streets particularly when walking to my car after a good night out with friends.
• 1) A conversation I had with one of the kids I tutor: "Is it true that people who talk like they're smart are really dumb, and they're just trying to look smart?" "I don't know. Often times that's the case, I guess. Why, do I talk like I'm smart?" "Yes. VERY." "Fuck you, shithead" (Okay, I didn't say this last part.) 2) I seem to be a pretty good geek/cool translator. I can dumb down nerdy shit like calculus and computer code, and nerd up shit like sex, drugs, and music.
• I thought you had to say hello to animals in the street. There's a law, isn't there??
• Swearing at computers. Saying "woof" to dogs.
• 1) I make fun of stupid people and blue hairs who drive slowly; 2) On a road trip, if I see cows, I enter into the following dialog with at least one other person in the car. If they don't know their lines, I teach it to them, and we practice several times on the trip: Me: "Look! A bunch of cows!" Them: "No, a herd of cows." Me: "Well, of course I've heard of cows." Them: "No, no. A cow herd." Me: "What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets from cows!" Anyways, I've been doing that since high school math club trips, and I'll do it until I either stop going on road trips, until there are no more bunches of cows along the side of the road, or until I'm dead.
• Obnoxious: overt misanthropy and curmudgeonliness, foul temper, virulent intolerance for stupidity, dislike of children, laziness, defeatism, pessimism, fondness for cruel humour, abusing people who use cellphones in public places, enjoyment of offending stupid people, arrogance, impatience. Cute: err... lemme get back to you on this.
• Obnoxious: A robust, occasionally overwhelming pedantic streak (bourbon is to this what gamma rays are to the Incredible Hulk); I am also one who picks while driving. Cute: Add me to the list for talking to myself. I've actually caught myself wishing I had a cell phone so that I could do it in public without looking like a crazy person. In accordance with above, sometimes I lecture to myself.
• btw, what the hell happened to the sidebar?
• never mind.
• Obnoxious - talking on a cell phone while driving in bumper to bumper traffic. Include hand gestures & facial expressions that the person on the phone couldn't possibly see. Cute - I make faces at babies to make them laugh. Airplanes, restaurants, shops - it's impossible for me to stop. I'll be eating dinner and suddenly sticking out my tongue and rolling my eyes. I'm sure I look like I'm having a seizure, but look around - there's a baby giggling at me.
• (a) I am like a cyclone - up, down, sideways until sometimes some people don't know how to take me... (Cyclone sarah anyone?) (b) I am like a whirlwind - going at high speed, ever changing direction, stirring things up, and yet bringing fresh air to those in grave danger of stagnation. --- (a) I love people, I almost always can see the best in them. I'm also an incredibly touchy-feely person with a tendency to flirt with other people (of either gender). (b) I love people, I almost always can see the best in them. I'm also an incredibly touchy-feely person with a tendency to flirt with other people (of either gender). I have also been informed (sometimes by the same source) that my habit of being overly optimistic is both endearing and annoying. PS: MJ - did I mention that you rock for coming up with the coolest Curious Georges?
• 1. murder 2. while wearing a fluffy sweater
• Obnoxious: I'm very impatient while driving, I have what I like to refer to as "Situational Tourette's Syndrome" while behind the wheel of a car. I've never had road rage, but I can understand how people get there. Cute? Something about me that's "awww"? Well, I suppose some people think my belief that pickles are the world's most perfect food is cute.
• obnoxious: I'm a fairly mild person until I start to drive. Then I get pretty mean. (Shouting "Look you fucking asshole!" in front of my 14 year old sister....) cute: I love supermarket dancing... any place that it's inappropriate to dance? I'll dance. (Get me on the dance floor, though, and I'm too embarrassed)
• /reads everyone's answers You know, I think we're all the same fucking person.
• we're all the same fucking person Must... resist...
• You guys are all so cool.
• Killing drifters and dumping their bodies in that abandoned rock quarry. But hey, who doesn't?
• My friends get annoyed at me 'being rhetorical', which means that I launch into long, parliamentary style, speaches about trivial issues. You too, Dreadnought? Drives my friends absolutely bonkers.
• Obnoxious: Correcting people and generally behaving like a know-it-all. Cute: Dorky involuntary reactions like stamping my foot on the floor when I laugh, or clapping my hands and jumping up and down when I'm excited.
• 1) Excessive sarcasm and an occasional superiority complex 2) Excessive sarcasm and an occasional superiority complex???
• meredithea! dancing in the supermaket rocks! I got distracted in the supermarket and actually moonwalked once. got called out on it too. now I'm not allowed to go unless I eat a snack first. to all of you who talk to animals--it's just good form. I expect wild birds to answer (because the ones at home do). I also say "excuse me" when I'm walking towards wild animals and it's likely to make them skitter/flee.
• There's a crow on my street who screams "Hello!" at anyone walking by. We call her Martha.
• I'm thrillified to know that us monkeys address our fellow creatures in a polite and forthright manner. yup...I thought I was the only one as well...heh! shows what I know!
• doing the school marm thing on MoFi.
• We are so many clones.
• Obnoxious: I see no obligation to be polite to people who have been rude to me. I find this is most commonly a problem when people don't move their bodies out of the way in physically limited spaces: for example, I was getting off the subway the other day when an obese woman with one of those giant baby strollers tried to plow through me to get on the car, glaring at me the whole time. First rule of subway car use -- let the people exiting the car get off before you attempt to board. So, I feel no guilt for pushing her back out on to the platform and using some rather choice language when she complained. Rude? Probably, but certainly prompted by greater rudeness. And, how do people learn how to behave if others don't respond to their rudeness? Cute: My wife taught me how to pet bees. Now, whenever i see a bee buzzing around a flower, I stop to rub her back. And no, we've never been stung because of it.
• /Stricken with love for coppermac's wife!
• Obnoxious: Mumbling/Talking too fast. I'm sure there are others. Cute: I talk nonsense at any cute and fuzzy animal I see. Serious nonsense, like made up words and shit. Now if only I could pet bees!
• .willing to be petted any old time!
• Please for to teach all monkeys to pet bees!
• Her whole family can do it, apparently. It isn't hard -- just let the bee settle on the flower (or hover in the same spot for a couple of seconds), and rub her back. I think the trick is in not being trembly and hesitant (which correlates to the old adage about certain animals being said to be able to smell fear). Since learning this, I've picked injured bees up off the ground and still haven't been stung. And beeswacky, she's open to polyamoury, but only if you are willing to rub her feet almost constantly.
• I used to keep bees, and I never knew about this bee-petting. I'll try it tomorrow! And if I make an inordinate number of typos tomorrow, you'll see that I picked the wrong bee to be getting familiar with.
• *pets bees* Groovy. Will promise to give it a try. Uh... using baby language when I'm offguard (I sent an ex into disbelieving laughter once when I was telling him something that happened, and I said "...and when I went to the potty...") Having conversations with myself, then laughing at my own jokes - while walking in public areas. That gets me a load of weird looks. And yes, talking to animals. Good luck with your bee-petting experiment, Wolof!
• Try it at home. Stroking bumble bees is fun. They don't seem to mind. Careful, though, they're a bit squishy.
• Playing the bagpipes. 'Nuff said.
• aww. I crack my knuckles when nervous, and when I'm in public I'm nearly always nervous. I think people hate that. Sorry, people. And there's nothing cute about me, or endearingly goofy.
• Ah, bee-petting. I learned that years ago, in a Greek taverna. I'd had a hanoum bourek - one of those classic, sticky, honey-drenched Greek pastries - and after I finished, a couple of bees settled on the plate to have a go at the smeared honey remnants. I couldn't resist stroking their fuzzy backs and was surprised to see that they didn't seem to mind at all, didn't move, showed no signs of being in any way disturbed.
• Obnoxious: whenever we're sitting on the couch at home and my wife's stomach growls or some such, I say, aloud, "Gurgle!" (Not an imitation of the sound, mind you, but the actual word.) It's compulsive--I can't NOT say it, despite the fact that I always get a knuckle to the bicep in response. She claims that one of these days she's going to start calling "Fart!" on me. Cute: people have told me that the way I play with my son is cute--he's 4 1/2 years old, and his style of play has started becoming much more mature than mine.
• 1.) scratching my teeth in the car when I forget to brush. 2.) at one time I was such a dogmatic vegatarian that I would pick up every worm in my driveway and throw them in the grass so they wouldn't be trampled upon or dry up and die later. hello
• Obnoxious: let me count the ways. Irritating mornings pre-caffeine, a tendency to either clam-up in awkward social situations or "be the funny one" to lubricate everyones laugh muscles, I hide from my telephone, make smart ass comments in movies, I drink too much tea, I could go on, Cute: Baby talking the dog in a ridiculous falsetto in public/private anywhere, eccentric fashion tastes, I try to fall in love with everyone, nearly any conversational subject will induce me to suggest a book to someone (and if I'm at home I'll actually sprint to the shelf and then press it into my guest's hand,) And, I gotta say, I tell a pretty good story when I get worked up.
• I play the cow game with Sandspider, but insist upon making variations everytime. Like with accents or in pig latin and such. I think that is both 1 and 2. I also walk my cat on a leash and harness.
• Usually obnoxious, sometimes cute: I'm easily amused and will laugh at anything, usually at the most awkward or solemn moments possible. Funerals, jury duty, client meetings, etc. My brain tells me jokes when I get really bored. I'm not shy about making an ass of myself in public, and I'll swear loudly in front of little kids but not in front of elderly folks. And I talk to animals, often in silly accents, and give my friends' pets dumb nicknames. 'Allo Meester BoBo, 'ow are you thees fan, fan day? I don't dance in the grocery store, but I will serenade Mister shinything if there's a schmaltzy song on the muzak. He hates that, so I do it often. This thread taught me two things: 1. all us monkeys seem to be the same person, and 2. I must be annoying as shit to live with.
• Obnoxious: I tend to be overtly rude to people who can't observe the general rules of etiquette pertaining to shopping, driving, using mass transit, personal space, and keeping children in check. Choice language and actions are often used to illustrate my feelings about others' impoliteness. Cute, but obnoxiously so: I'm smitten by vague, oversimplified depictions of bunnies, and my standards for what makes a cute (plush or illustrated) bunny are quite exacting. Miffy - cute. Peter Rabbit - not cute. Pat the bunny - very cute. I've been advised by my own two fluff-monsters in this matter. And I have no plans to eat either of them, even though my fellow MoFites have so far failed in bribing me not to.
• I'm rude to my friends, and my kinsmen, too, and my collie, and I tell the dachshubd to her face she is too old. And smelly. I tell the critics they are wrong, the old they're dull, all those who like to list what they're abhoring And all debaters who go on and on and everlasting on, I tell the bastards how they set me snoring.
• A haiku for the esteemed beeswacky: Do collie and smelly rhyme? Perhaps it's cheating, but we'll accept it this time.
• What I did with collie and smelly is called 'slant rhyme'; it's fun to use now and then, peoplefilter. Variety is the spice of poems, so to speak. This is an intersting place for anyone curious about what people see as different aspects of a poetry and poems.
• And do more haiku, please -- they are great fun, too.
• Not at all sure I should be esteemed, I think perhaps bee-rated is the word.
• This is amazing. I thought I was the only one who was the same person.