October 05, 2004

• I'm not just the president, I'm also a client... Er, wha?
• Every swinging dick I know is in there.
• OK, I went off into the kitchen and realized that comment made no sense at all. I rescind it and replace it with, "Why do large penis owners need a support group, yet the only medical section they have is for further upsizing?"
• I get guys emailing me about this horrible defect constantly. Strangely, not a single one has ever actually made an appointment with me...
• I get guys emailing me about this horrible defect constantly. Strangely, not a single one has ever actually made an appointment with me...
• Not to derail the jokes by any means... but I know a man for whom this is actually a problem. He's been dumped by more than one woman whom he really cared for because sex was too painful for them. I kid you not. I've seen him in a dark funk several times over this and I've come to believe him. He used to really boast about his size when we first met, but now he's somewhat embarrased and angry whenever the topic comes up. Sometimes your partner really does mean it when they say that you're just fine! Some female comic on a very old Rodney Dangerfield HBO comedy special (forget who, sorry) once said about penes, "They all fit and you don't gag on the little ones!"
• I blame the muffins.
• I read that as "I blame the puffins", which was a very disorientating experience.
• Maybe they don't all fit - do women come in different sizes?
• Yes, it is very difficult to be saddled with a large cock. I have suffered this terrible curse for years and its not a laughing matter. When I was at High School during gym class I actually used to wear TWO layers of underwear so my shlong would not show thru my track pants so much. I never showered in the gym with the other kids cos I was embarrassed about the elephant trunk swinging around down there. And its not just that, its the huge bollocks that go with it, too. Luckily, I found a woman with a massive vaj and now I'm happy.
• me too.
• Buster Gonad.
• jb, as far as I know, every woman is different. Women who've given birth are one non-genetic example.
• My "member"ship application was rejected.
• At my high school we still take showers in gym class and after sports practices and the way that our shower room is set up you can pretty much see everyone from one single place. Guys around here are very open about being naked areound other guys so its not pure silence when we are showering. When some guys are talking to me, they say things like "wow, I'm jealous" , and "wow, ur dick is really big". I don't really know how to respond to that because I'm not really embarassed that its that big, and I also kind of like the attention of having the biggest dick out of all the guys. This is exactly how I remember high school.
• After having my second penis reduction, they finally let me into that support group.
• I think the democrats are missing a potential mode of attack here. I mean, Kerry is what, 6'5"? He's got big hands, big feet, if you know what I mean... The republicans are always trying to make it seem like Bush is the tough guy, but perhaps all that swagger is making up for being, shall we say, underendowed? "Vote for Kerry, he's got a bigger penis!"
• "Vote for Kerry, he's got a bigger penis!" Funny you should mention that...
• I knew it.
• Wow. Do you think this explains why Teresa seems so disoriented?
• And perhaps why Laura always seems kinda pissed off.
• My cock is twenty seven feet long. That's a whole lot of chicken!
• (very apropos don't ya think...?) Tune: I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor) At first I was afraid, I was petrified, When you said you had 10 inches Lord I almost died, But I'd spent oh so many yrs just waiting for a man that long, Then I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on. . . But there you are, Another lie! I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry, I should have known that it was bullshit, Just a sad pathetic dream, Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans. Go on now go, Walk out the door, Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4, Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out, Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count. (Chorus) I will survive, I will survive, Cos as long as I have batteries, My sex life is gonna thrive, I will always have good sex with a handful of latex, I will survive, I will survive. . .hey . hey It took all my self control not to laugh out loud, When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud, But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs, Now I'm saving all my lovin for a cordless multispeed, Go on now go, Just make a dash, Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash, I should have asked for confirmation, Should have asked for referees, Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me. Go on now go, Just hit the track, Don't you bring me home no tiddlers, Cos I'll always throw them back, The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours, Is to stick it with a tooth pick Dip it in tomato sauce. (Chorus) Go on now go, Get out of my sight, I'm going back to my appliance, Cos I know it's length is right, And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door, You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor. Go on now Go! someone forwarded this to me a few days ago...
• AAAGGHHH!!! NSFW!!! These guys post pictures of their enormous cocks!!
• This link is sooooo going into my favorites!
• OMG! I just saw the pics o' dicks! No words. Should have sent... a poet.
• And lo! big pecker pic posts confirm oft-told lie: size does too matter! We medium-wanged must rely on old standby: skilled cunnilingus.
• Later I should post my Ode to the Alphabet.
• Big dicks are a problem. I had a time in my life when it was like every dude I met had a 9" dick...it was cool at the beginning, but honey, when it comes to getting down, they're NOT fun...I couldn't enjoy myself. Now I'm totally happy with my average size boy.
• Yeah, there's just so many nine inch nails a girl can take.
• ...it was cool at the beginning, but honey, when it comes to getting down, they're NOT fun I refuse to believe that!
• Size Does Matter: prominent penis gives mammals an edge, study finds.
• Some woman keeps hitting on the posters.
• Monkeyfilter: My "member"ship application was rejected. And ya'll are sooooofull o'shit!
• Long ago, moneyjane said: I get guys emailing me about this horrible defect constantly. Strangely, not a single one has ever actually made an appointment with me... I for one can't afford you. But being able to furnish proof of my "defect" to chyx who do other things for a living means I don't have to. On the other hand, I'm not nearly so deformed that I could make a living based that alone. Nothing like a www.JohnHolmes.com here, unfortunately. (Note: I'm not offering to send anybody any portraits of "Not-So-Big Davey" and I'm already too busy too indulge many more "Daveyites", so don't anybody get your hopes up.)
• Truly, this is the saddest thing.
• Men do think with their penises. Oh, gee, uh... There's just so many responses I want to make that I'm overcome. /but I'm still menopausal, so...
• The image of big-penised men fainting from lack of blood whenever they get erections has been at the core of numerous pan-cultural jokes. The truth, however, is unfortunately considerably less comic. Huge-penised men have to studiously avoid turn-ons. Nothing must arouse them. It becomes a life-and-death issue. Censored news reports from the early 20s have recently come to light showing streets littered with the bodies of big-penised men who had fainted outside the strip clubs of Glasgow, Scotland. As recently as last month, a big-penised wrestler in Santa Monica is reported to have "inflainted" outside an *NSYNC concert and been run over by a steam roller. This is just too much. I know I'm a sucker, but c'mon. Should I really feel bad for laughing?
• ooh, I like the word "inflainted". And kilts and kikoys and lungis and other various guy-skirts. (To be continued in a future thread on shapely calves.) The very best item of clothing for men with big penises is the common housedress. Beneath such loose raiment big penises can hang and swing as nature intended. This is why the Scottish wear kilts. Because they are all men with big penises.
• Big dicks are a problem. I had a time in my life when it was like every dude I met had a 9" dick...it was cool at the beginning, but honey, when it comes to getting down, they're NOT fun...I couldn't enjoy myself. Not to brag, but being on the other end of this equation, I must sadly agree. After the novelty wears out, it does make sex more difficult and exhausting for the other fellow.
• I have to agree. Having romped with joy through the times of free love and with a different concept of sexual hygeine, I learned about 'it's too big', first hand. Two were physically impossible. Others became more an exercise in self-defence than pleasure. I thought that it was all the neat bends and angles that were the most fun. Always a joy to discover what a new shape could do for you. /did I really say that? Maybe I've had too much eggnog...
• We're still almost a month and a half from the year of the Giant Wooden Cock. This thread's going to go buck wild then.
• That is a fantatic imagery to attach to the symbol. I'll be having little chuckles now, when people refer to it. *grinning already*
• Why is it that whenever I see the title of this thread, I think "Large Penis Support Garment"? You know, a man's equivalent of the DD bra? Which begs the question, do older Large Penises droop, sag or shrink? (I have no way of knowing myself - and yes, that was a factor in my decision to go asexual)
• Unfortunately I can only make generalisations on what was presented, at a time that it was culturally acceptable to be promiscuous. I can not make much statement on the older penis other than that the one I do know has no respect for menopause.
• My penis is so big, it doesn't return Speilberg's calls. /drew_carey_joke
• 'Cause here in Hollywood, the penises use the phone A LOT.
• that explains so much, my number must be easy to enter with a few good thwacks-- --yet speaking on the phone seems to require balls, as i think the ones that hang up are just a bit of a prick-- --but then having the balls to call doesn't mean they aren't talking out their ass