October 01, 2004

To The Person Who Found My Camera No doubt, you're wondering why the memory card contains 17 close-ups of a cat's ass.
  • Cat pictures are treacherous things. Some years ago, one of our cats was operated on, and we got the cat back plus several copies of the photos our enthusiastic vet had taken of the shaven, anesthetised cat -- from which he had, he said, removed "two pounds of pus" along with some of its innards. There were pictures, about four or five, of the cat being opened up, of the interneal presentation, and a memorable shot of the removed parts lying beside the cat -- and finally, of the stitched up cat, still unconscious and spread-eagled on the table. Not knowing what to do, really, with these pictures, the person driving the car stuck them into a library book. And then forgot all about doing so, seemingly. *sigh* Despite my insistance I had work to do, my near and dear made it known to me that I MUST have a jolly chat with the people at the library, who seemed perturbed when they called our house.
  • Okay, that was a really good laugh. I often photograph strange things... kind of thought digital cameras made sure only I saw the pictures...
  • This post is the cat's arse.
  • What kind of person "accidentally" puts pictures of their pussy in a library book, then returns it?
  • beeswacky is funnier than the person without the camera.
  • Two pounds of pus from your puss? Good grief. Sounds like a near death experience for the cat.
  • What kind of person "accidently"...? EarWax: A seventeen year-old, drunk with confidence behind the wheel of his first car. BlueHorse, that two pounds was one quarter of her weight before the operation. She was very sick, but luckily her sudden uncharacteric lack of appetite made us bring her in. (This cat always wolfed her meals in most uncatlike style, and, if allowed, would even steal food from the dogs' bowls while they were trying to eat. When she went her off her feed one morning, we knew something was wrong and brought her to the vet right away. With any other cat I doubt we'd have caught it so soon, before things ruptured.)
  • Taking a couple of happy snaps of the cat's clacker valve may well be explained away as a natural and not-pervy concern for feline sphincter health, but 17 smacks of obsession. Unless the cat's date was palping in a strange way, and the guy wanted to make an animated .gif or something of it, to fully communicate the ponderous pulsing of the pussy's pooter. Methinks this gimp doth protest too hard. He's a perv.
  • these stories, while fascinating, are not good to read during lunch. who knew they even weighed pus? and beeswacky, did you ask for the pictures or was it just your lucky day? did the vet charge extra for them?
  • We got 'em handed to us along with our improved cat, PatB, as we tried to pay attention to the vet's reprise of the operation, his plans for an article featuring the cat's interior in some veterinary journal, and the post-op instructions. The photos were free. I SO am a lucky bee!
  • "who knew they even weighed pus?" You've obviously never heard of "The Massiest Load-Bearing Pustule Competition" of Hygiene, Colorado, which is held every year at Old Farmer Phuncton's Furnace, near the town tip. Last year's winner was David Ramses-Zill of Glamorgan who possessed a furuncle which gave forth over 6 pounds of putrid pus in a perfect plume, a world record and presumably a relief. Cheese-Mites from miles around were said to have swarmed the town for several weeks thereafter.