September 29, 2004
How to Be a Hipster
So-called Hipness is not all about what you drink, or wear, or buy. It
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Is there such a thing as a fat hipster? I think Square One is to work on one's weight.
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oh god. I have friends who actually fit this description. to. a. tee. I don't, I'm too old!
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The other side of the story: The New York Anti-Hipster Forum.
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I have the thick black plastic rimmed glasses and decal t-shirts (one even has a truck on it and says "10-4, Good Buddy!"), but other than that, I'm fiercely uncool. But, maybe that makes me cool ...?
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is anti-hipster is the new hipster?
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Yep.. it's hip now to be anti-hip.
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I want the Honkey hat.
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This is like 1998 all over again.
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Hipster is so fin.
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Actually, it's more outre. *snorts derisively*
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*rolls eyes ironically at middleclasstool*
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"Are you being sarcastic?" "Man, I don't know anymore." /Simpsons
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I know people who've done much better hipster parody sites than this. You probably wouldn't have heard of them, though, they're pretty underground and edgy.
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This article shows you how to tell if you are, in fact, a hipster. However, it is from the morning news, so reading it automatically makes you a hipster. Until it doesn't.
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I'm wearing this t-shirt. Does that make me 'hip' or 'unhip'?
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Amazed, utterly amazed that people are actually using the word 'hipster' again -- thought it was buried back in the late fifties. Memo to self: Slanguage never dies -- it just sounds that way!
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History is constantly recycled: first as irony, then as fashion.
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[fuck, i meant "anti-hipster is the new hipster"... but you knew that, didn't you, gentle reader? what? there's a preview button?] fuyugare: it makes you unhip, for several reasons. most glaringly, because of the superfluous "oneone" at the end. at that point, the statement loses ambiguity, i.e., someone quite obviously had spelled out the number "one" (1), as a word... which communicates more of a strained, cynical context and less of a self-depreciating, apathetic whimsy generally considered to be requisite in the domain of hip. moreover, a shirt which attempts to ironically point out your ironic superiority over (quite obviously) geeky people is, ironically, übergeeky. By that, I mean, you are obliviously, and paradoxically espousing both a painful amount (and lackthereof) of self-awareness, and the decidedly unhip ultrageekiness of a dork declaring himself to be -- with a straight face -- king l33t, ruler of geektopia. (O! let me kiss that hand! Let me wipe it first; it smells of hyper-irony.) Sincerely, King L33t Ruler of Geektopia
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Maybe less 1998 than 1986
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I don't see anything "hip" around me these days the world is full of wankers.
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God, this is retarded. I get paid to spend time with hipsters (I'm a rock writer), and not only is this, say, not as funny as the catbirdseat's Hipster Bingo, it's written by someone who obviously can't keep his subcultures straight. First off, if you're not offended by being called a hipster, you're not a hipster. Second, fuckin' Moby? Malltronica is not with the hipster cred, comprende? Third, clear malt beverages are signifiers for Metrosexuals, not hipsters. I know that sometimes it's confusing, what with the overlap between gay fashion and irony, but yer Schmeernoff ain't hip unless you're in a fuckin' ad. Which isn't hip. Unless it's in Vice. Who represent hipster assholes. The other shit, from the Morning News, is more bunk crap, confusing consumer youth trends with, well, being hip. Sure, indier-than-thou is the boardgame of choice for hipsters (sidenote: Milton Bradley's Sorry, but buying the Volkswagon doesn't protect your hipster cred. In fact, if you have a Volkswagon, you're no longer hip. You're a fucking well-dressed yuppie. More bullshit "Those crazy kids" from a magazine that should have laid down long, long ago.
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Yes, the rest of us should be ashamed for taking this so seriously.
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I really liked this thread's earlier stuff, but now it's gone totally mainstream.
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Pfft. It was mainstream right off the bat. Mainstream where I come from, anyway.
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Yeah, well, obviously I liked it in a retro-pastiche post-post-ironic way. Where I live, we're going through a big revival thing for the original threads that were doing this years ago, which is when I first got into them. Yeah, this one's pretty heavily influenced by that stuff. Y'know.
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Allegedly.
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Hunting the wild hipster.