September 23, 2004

Victor the Talking Budgie [caveat: credulity factor in the interpretation of the audio files] In the fall of 2000, I was the guardian of an remarkable parakeet named Victor. He had a vocabulary of over 1000 words and began to talk in amazing context. He was the first parrot in the world to prove they could speak in sophisticated conversational language.
posted by moonbird 20 years ago
  • ...We're going to have to have our budgie put down. Premise: Really - is it very old? Conclusion: No, we just don't like it. We're going to take it to the vet tomorrow. Premise: Tell me, how do they put budgies down, then? Conclusion: Well, it's funny you should ask that, because I've just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot them just there, just above the beak. Premise: Just there? Well, well, well. 'Course, Mrs Essence flushed hers down the loo. Conclusion: No, you shouldn't do that - no, that's dangerous. They *breed* in the *sewers*! (sorry, couldn't resist)
  • Then you get huge flocks of soiled budgies flying out of people's lavatories, infringing their personal freedom.
  • Her name has been pricked and put on a list by officials of the Society for Soothing Seriously Sullied Budgies and Companion Birds.
  • It was miraculous enough when we found our budgies were talking in amazing context about God and the afterlife. Yeah, but I lost all repspect for him when Victor threatened to murder any male Budgie that looked at him in "that way". Hypocrite.