September 20, 2004

Rasputin was really assassinated by a British spy - a new study suggests. The reason? To prevent him brokering a peace with Germany - which would have freed 350,000 troops to fight against the Poms on the Western Front. Login may be required: try bigal@hotmail.com/aljzera or find another one at bugmenot.com

Crazy story, but a lot more believable than the old one about him surviving cyanide, bullets, more bullets, frozen river, etc. And of course Ra-Ra Rasputin had a 30cm love machine... Keywords: Rasputin, spy, Russian, conspiracy, love-machine, bullet-hole. Thankyou.

posted by Nostrildamus 20 years ago
  • But to Moscow chicks, he was such a lovely dear.
  • Makes more sense than some of the other tales of Rasputin's death. Thanks, Nostril.
  • they were battling poms on the western front?
  • This reminds me of James Earl Jones telling us how JFK really died.
  • Pshaw. Rasputin is alive, and lives down the street from me. Every Sunday night, he gets a load on and shows off that wang of his. OK, Raz, it's very nice and all, but christ on a stick does it have to be EVERY Sunday? I'm trying to cook out bratwursts here, and the missus' eyes are starting to linger a little too long. Do me a solid and put "Czarina's Pride" back under the cassock, ok?
  • Well, SideDish, is it happening again? I see your comment ought to have been above mine. O wot is going on? Are we all -- ugh! -- at sea?
  • I don't believe a word of it. Rasputin's death is one of the most notorious episodes in Russian history, and it's implausible in the extreme that nobody involved breathed a word for the next century. Anybody could have shot him in the forehead, for heaven's sake -- why does that somehow prove it was the secret agent? I say it's just another case of the Brits trying to take credit for everything. Apologies to all monkeyBrits for rampant overgeneralization.
  • You kinda gotta wonder what 'forensic evidence' would be around after all this time. "Post-mortem photographs of Rasputin show a mysterious third bullet wound in the centre of his forehead. The precise positioning of this, the fatal shot, suggests that it was the work of a professional killer." Because everybody knows all those Russkis were lousy shots and incapable of the coup de gras. Raspy had a wicked mythic death, and IMHO any one of the things done to him would have killed him if they'd waited long enough..but they didn't wait. I can understand why. The dude was scary. On preview: I'm pretty much with languagehat on this one. I'll wait, tho, until the documentary is out before I discount it completely.
  • But Britain deserves credit for everything
  • I always thought beeswacky did it.
  • I say it's just another case of the Brits trying to take credit for everything. *plays almost any Hollywood movie about WWII*
  • Oh, I don't deny we Yanks also try to take credit for everything. (Say, I'll bet General Pershing really shot Rasputin...) And now we've got our own Empire! Still no royal family, though, so you've got that on us.
  • Fes, Google just yielded 33 results for Pshaw Rasputin. Wot doth this portend?
  • Obviously, it was Rielly. (You don't have a royal family, languagehat? What are the Bushes?)
  • beeswacky is, in fact, a Russian spy who is a double agent for the Kaiser (who is an Islamic prophet.) There is rock-solid forensic evidence for this. He also broke the Enigma code and wears frilly skirts on special days. Unless of course the documents turn out to be forgeries.
  • Didn't I read somewhere that the cause given on Rasputin's death certificate was exposure? Coroner: So it wasn't the large bullet hole in the centre of his forehead, then? Forensic expert: (double-take)The what?
  • Ach, our little skirts are rounded with a pleat. We call them kilts. The Greeks have a word for this, too, but I forget what it is.
  • Foustanela.
  • Aye, thanks, Nostril.
  • The Greeks got it from the Albanians, back in the early nineteenth century. Just so's you know.