I tried to pick up a girl by lending her my copy of Ghost World.
I spoke like a pirate today.
I plan to die poor and alone, my genius unrecognized by my fellow man.
the_bone, are you also planning on having your genius discovered two hundred years after your death, causing you to be raised posthumously to the heights of the greatest thinkers of the 21st century? or is that not on your radar?
I get seasick at sea, if that counts. Also on ponds and lakes.
Lake-sick... Pond-sick...hmmm...
Why don't they call it landsick if you get sick ashore?
My number of John Cusack-esque "sitting drunk and despondent on the street corner in the pouring rain having just been cruelly rejected" moments are almost too numerous to mention.
I made pancakes today.
I was an anarchist, long haired, poor-bathing-habit-having, pot smoking, eastern religion subscribing, vegetarian, intellectual with aspirations of spending the rest of my life on a farm when I was in high school.
Now I'm a lovable dectective who plays by his own rules, who remains ununderstood by all but my woman.
Yeah, when a few dusty manuscripts of compositions and poetry as well as a floppy-disk backup of my blog are discovered in the late 23rd century I fully expect to be posthumously annointed as one of the great "Philosopher-Kings" of American civilization. This will happen in April of 2217. Mark your calendars.
I signed up with AOL for the free time only.
No, wait, that wasn't the most cliche thing I've ever done, there was the time...no, wait, THAT wasn't the most cliche thing I've ever done, it was when I.....
Oh hell.
Gettin' married to stay in the US of A.
Tuesday, in fact.
Paging Gerard Depardieu, would Mr Depardieu please report to the thread.....
My whole life is a cliche. I'm a dark-haired, eyeglasses-wearing nerdy secretary by day, and a published erotica writer by night.
I quoted the Simpsons.
I started a band in the eighth grade to get girls.
I got a tribal tattoo.
I bought a VW.
I stuck it to the man.
I quoted Monty Python.
Just the other day while teaching my college class I cited NPR. I actually stopped and said, "Wow, I can't beleive I just did that. I sound like all my old college profs."
I'm a screenwriter, but what I really want to do is direct.
My whole life is a huge, flaming cliche, at least here in LA.
I dated a woman who lives with several cats.
it didn't work out - I'm allergic to cats
islander! obviously it didn't work out because the woman was an "emotionally unstable sociopath who should probably be burnt at the stake as a witch"....wait! where am I?
I was an optimistic, naive young guy. The most beautiful girl in the world took me under her wing for six months and then broke my heart. I became a despondent, cynical, pessimistic loner that's too chicken shit bitter to enter a meaningful, mature relationship.
I don't have a pet cat, btw.
I fell asleep immediately on the other party immediately after sex and started snoring.
My mom really did like my brother best.
I've been to Graceland.
I joined a college fraternity full of zany characters and, between bouts of collegial binge drinking, we met interesting people, had strange and fascinating adventures and solved perplexing mysteries.
And all while on double secret probation!
hm. with the intention of humour:
i dated a lesbian, then her ex-girlfriend. who left me for a woman. (i'm a bloke, btw)
i was in a (different) long-term relationship. it ended badly. i am now an embittered, lonely drunk, completely failing to meet the right girl.
i'm a pudgy web geek who wears designer threads (which i get cheap from outlet stores).
i drink Carlton Draught.
i wear big pants and a flat cap to underground raves.
yay! i like me!
I fantasized about moneyjane.
I worked doing graphics for web pages during the late 90's. The company (I created their logos, stationery, promotional material) went bust before 2001.
I had a mohawk, and blamed society.
pf: I fell asleep immediately on the other party immediately after sex and started snoring.
And I have never forgiven you.
Crap!
I knew I should have stole the credit card and made shameful purchases in the name of another but I feared retribution! Alas and alack!
I am a middle aged white guy with 3 kids a mortgage and a desk job.
I'm on anti-depressives.
I spent my teen years lying on the carpet in my underwear with the headphones on, reading Dorothy Parker and fantasizing about my own funeral.
Oh! I listened to Joy Division, painted my fingernails, cut myself with razors, wore black, and shaved my head!
I once killed a man with a guitar string.
I've been seen at the table with kings.
I once saved a baby from drowning.
Beneath my coat, there are wings.
i'm at work and reading MoFi...
I went to a DRI gig (I'd Rather Be Sleeping tour) on shitty speeders and bounced up and down on a pool table like a goddamn squirrel until I got into a momentary ninja fight with a guy named Chainsaw.
Also, I killed a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Let's face it: we all, for various different reasons, wish we knew Moneyjane. Talk about sucking the marrow out of life!
I saw a Miles Davis concert in Paris and smoked a big joint while I listened.
*clicks fingers*
I got drunk in Mexico and woke up with a tattoo.
(A henna tattoo, but still.)
My whole damn life is the computer nerd cliche - two computers, no girlfriend in more years than I can count on two hands, balding, irascible, etc. etc.
'Scuse me, while I turn into my grandparents.
I saw a Miles Davis concert in Paris and smoked a big joint while I listened.
That's, by far, the best cliche!
I turned 30 and bought a motorbike.
I was a young, fat, overbearing smartarsed geek, who wondered why he didn't have any friends.
Now I'm an older, skinnier, smartarsed geek, who knows why he doesn't have any friends.
I'm not sure if this knowledge is useful, however ;)
Where have you been lately, Mr Coriolis?
/curious
(Other curious people who may be more recent converts could perhaps click on Dave's user name for a profile.)
Ooo.. I'm remembereded! *beam*
I've been about, Wolof, made some posts here and there. But basically, I actually got a new job which meant that my time was seriously restricted. Fortunately, it is soon to be replaced by one which will hopefully prove much less irritating.
Or at least, one in which the stupid quotient is significantly reduced ;)
It would appear, however, that the place has beens positively booming in the meantime - yay monkeys! I promise not to disappear again quite so comprehensively ;)
I should really update that profile -- I found MUSICIANS! and they're CLEAN! and well-mannered!!! I'm seriously happy about that.. I get to play Death and the Maiden! *faint*
Good to see it's going well for you, Dave. All best wishes.
(Carry on, thread, excuse derail! Post more corny shit!)
I'm a grad student who frequently wears a tweed jacket and college scarf, while riding an ancient bike down a tree-lined avenue.
i married my high school sweetheart.
I'm an Aussie who went backpacking - 'Mountain Designs' pack in tow..
I'm also working a day job while secretly honing my creative skills to become a rockstargoddess/writer/actor..
wow shit, i didn't realise just how cliche that is until i wrote it :o\ Ergh.
moneyjane, let's see the tatt!
and congrats on tying the proverbial knot!
(oh, and i spent a month bumming around europe right after college graduation)
I'm a rich tycoon who wears a tophat and monocle.
I have a deep mistrust of institutional authority, diminished economic expectations, and lots of black in my wardrobe.
I wore a crisp white uniform, complete with white nurse's cap for my graduation pictures. (Haven't had to don that outfit since, thank God.)
I were the standard *biker uniform*, black leather and a do-rag, when riding my motorcycle. Although I do own white leathers, I prefer the black. It is easier to keep clean.
I'm a failed aspiring writer who faced off with crippling self-doubt and effectively lost. I'm now channeling my creative and intellectual power into the world of software, while I quietly find a creative hobby and wait for some kid who's chock-full o' moxie to come along and inspire me to write again.
I fell in love with moneyjane.
Smallish Bear: Do you need a 5'10" blonde trophy wife who is aspiring to be an actor?
I was a big-city boy, but I moved out to the country and bought a pickup truck.
I was a latchkey child from a broken home who shoplifted.
I was a pot-smoking, black-clothes-wearing, dyed-hair, Smiths-listening art student.
I made a cross-country road trip to San Francisco.
I saw "Titanic".
I was a single woman trying to make it in a man's world.
I'm kind of Captain of the Obvious overall (a Smiths fan who is depressive?!?). The single most cliche thing is probably making friendship bracelets for myself and a friend who was moving away, although it was at his request. Caveat: we were something like 25 and 23 at the time. His spelled out our names! I blame the extreme stress at the time.
But I was once asked out by note by a complete stranger, complete with "circle y/n", so I never feel that lame. (caveat: I was 22.)
I was born in the back seat of a Yellow Cab in a hospital loading zone and with the meter still running. I emerged needing a shave and shouted 'Time Square, and step on it!'
I bought an SUV two days ago. (okay, a small japanese one that gets relatively good gas mileage, but still, it's an SUV...)
Oh, and lots of other stuff I won't fess up to.
I'm a nerdy 20-something computer science grad who recently moved out to San Francisco to look for a job in Silicon Valley.
Then I realized it wasn't 1997.
Where are my millions in options? When's the IPO party?? Where's my goddamned swimming pool?!? Why do people keep asking about my "qualifications" and "references"?!?!?
The tattoo is a barbed-wire wrist band that was...wait for it...my wedding band (yep, we each had one). Then, the cliche that would not die carried on; we got divorced! Who knew? And here we thought a tuesday night marriage at The Little Chapel of the West (the groom wore combat boots - so did the bride) was gonna last forever. Well, not really. We weren't that dumb. Now our tattoos are friendship bracelets. Good thing I get along with exes.
We monkeys are great! Hooray for us!
mj, i'm glad there's someone else out there who is friends with their ex! kudos to you both on your fun marriage, ironic tatts and very civil divorce.
*banana!*
I made a batch of jello with a can of fruit cocktail mixed in.
I chose kwyjibo as my login id.
I ate a bag of chips and promised myself I'd go to the gym tomorrow.
Subverted a small, latin american dictatorship.
Bah! My entire existence is a cliche:
Single 30yr old with 2 cats and no kids, 1st generation immigrant, got a tattoo on a dare, was married for 2 months, have a desk job, drive a gas guzzlin' suv, been on anti-depressants, have a gym membership but rarely go, over-educated and over-qualified for the job i do...hmm what else?
I wear these things called "clothes."
I went to grad school, got my nose pierced, and now I'm *that* feminist, lefty, weird-ass, former Goth, little-dog-owning, 'blog writing, silly teacher girl.
speaking of your blog, meredithea, you need to add the http:// to the link in your profile...
My friend and I put on Domokun costumes ans chased a kitten through a field before we killed it.
I'm of Hispanic descent on one side, and laaaaaazy. Matter of fact, I'm considering the option of taking a between-classes siesta right now...
Like most of the Hispanic girls I've known, I went through a period of time where I dressed like I would be for sale (at discount prices, at that) on the nearest street corner, and then was offended when someone offered to buy.
Deathrock/early Goth cliches:
While I didn't quite manage to convince myself that I was a vampire, once upon a time I desperately wanted to be one, and dressed according to my opinion of how a vampire would dress.
I was convinced that my soul (if I had one) was nothing but darkness, and this (and acting in ways to emphasize this) was glamorous.
I wore my hair with my bangs hanging over my right eye at all times. (For those who may not have known Deathrockers, this was practically the uniform hairstyle of the time.)
I was madly in lust with Robert Smith of The Cure, and would spend long hours trying to tease my hair out like his, or out of my mind on LSD and drooling over videos of him.
I wrote horrible poetry that was nothing but angst as far as the eye could see.
I'm one of the people who began what has become the cliche of the Perky Goth after I got over my soul-is-darkness phase.
Geekdom cliches:
I lived on potato or corn chips and Jolt while playing in 12 (or more) hour long RPG sessions.
I have spent months designing entire game worlds.
I not only went to the Rocky Horror Picture Show regularly, I was on two casts simultaneously for two years.
I went to science fiction conventions where I couldn't afford a room, and slept under a table in the anime lounge (if I slept at all.)
That's probably more than enough.
"Wedding vows in Vegas/ aren't meant to last for ages..."
Most cliche? I contributed to this thread.
(Also, I'm a hack music writer).
As a teenager I wrote poetry, had burgundy colored hair, a wardrobe that was 95% black velvet and listened to nine inch nails.
In my early twenties I pierced random parts of my body, replaced the burgundy with a more natural red, replaced most of the velvet with flowy skirts, had my heart broken by a poet, drove cross country to California to “find myself”
I gained 15 lbs my first year in college fulltime, I lost the 15 lbs the year I got closer to 30 than I was to twenty
In my late (eek) twenties: I reminisce about the wild kid I use to be and am back to my natural blonde. My clothes are more EMS/REI than anything and when I hike with my yellow lab I probably look just like I came out of one of their catalogs.
I am the definition of perpetual student – 22 out of 28 years.
I thought about posting on monkeyfilter that metafilter was down again.
If there were no moneyjane it would be necessary to invent her.
Of all the things I've lost in life, I miss my mind the most.
No, that's not true. I miss my dog more.
I think I just developed a crush on christophine.
Oh boy, how could I have missed it.. I'm white and I listen to Straight outta Comptons. Beat that.
I'm a male and I have a penis
Oh boy, how could I have missed it.. I'm white and I listen to Straight outta Comptons. Beat that.
Follow by listening to Fear of a Black Planet.
I'm tired and my feet hurt.
Love,
GramMa
I ♥ GramMa.
I am naked right now.
Actually, how could I have missed this perfectly, wonderfully clichéd MoFi response...?
f8xmulder: I was born in the back seat of a Yellow Cab in a hospital loading zone and with the meter still running.
*coughcough*
"The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only, there is no stopping in the red zone."
"The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only, there is no stopping in the white zone."
"NO! The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading and there is no stopping in the red zone."
"The red zone has always been for loading and unloading, there is never stopping in a white zone."
"Don't tell me which zone is for stopping and which zone is for loading."
"Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again..."
Oh really, Flashboy? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
I'm an alchoholic modernist writer.
I am Siamese, if you please.
A character I liked got killed tonight on a tv show and I cried. Then I dyed my hair.
I watched a reality show then bitched about how fucking idiotic and stupid it was.
/I plan on watching again next week
I don't have a cable connection. I read manga by the boatload. I spend all my spare change on lik-sang. I started a blog but found it to be too much of a hassle. I have roughtly twice as many books as shelf-space. I think goodness and justice will triumph over evil.
I just had an argument with a SO-candidate over lack of available quality-time.
Then I log on 'just to check the mail' and spend an hour posting in message boards.
I would like to clear my good name by correcting that my cliche is making unnecessary literary allusions on monkeyfilter. I have no alcohol-related drinking problems. Thank you.
My two favourite magazines are Wired, and Glamour. I sense this is the devil's work. I also have big fluffy black Hello Kitty slippers I bought at Payless.
I played a female character on Everquest.
I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.
My two favourite magazines are Wired, and Glamour. I sense this is the devil's work.
It is. It is indeed. But we have a program to help people like you. If you'd like to peruse some of our literature, I can then tell you the wonderful news about our Lord and Savior, who likes to be known only as "Toby."
Call me Ishmael.
I'm a firefighter who occasionally says "see you on the big one" to colleagues before heading up to sleep in the bunkroom.
And I slide down a firepole when an emergency call comes in.
I'm an alcoholic Theatre student that thinks I will be able to "make art" in the real world and make money at the same time.
I screwed a girl in the dark on a mountain top in West Virginia. We met that very evening, and I was not sure what she looked like, there in the dark.
That was 20 years ago. We are still together. Our relationship has gotten a bit more complex over the years. But, we are still hot for each other.
I think I just developed a crush on christophine.
That's not a cliche. That's a rarity!
the_bone needs to come over here and get some monkey love.
Oh wait... "think" you just developed a crush?
Then I think I'm flattered. :D
I'm madly in love with someone I can't have, and vice versa.
(We aren't together because I'm still in highschool and we both have a sense of decency... And I'm 9 years younger.)
wait, that's not a cliche, never mind
*GramMa comes in to catch up on latest remarks, sees Shinything's heart and goes in to give her a hug and bake oatmeal cookies
Wait, is this Cliche GramMa, or what?
chicken shitbitter to enter a meaningful, mature relationship. I don't have a pet cat, btw.