September 11, 2004

Cows Against Sex Citizens of a small Dutch village are so outraged by amorous locals engaging in public sex, they are resorting to cows to clean up the neighborhood. "...Apparently the presence of the cows turns the people off having sex," the mayor said.
posted by es el Queso 20 years ago
  • My guess is that the cows are less of a deterrence than the piles of cowshit all over the place. Thinking along a similar line, years ago I began to spread various piles of dogshit around my house to prevent burglars. So far, so good.
  • Obviously, the last thing I'd like to see while engaged in some frantic activity would be a cow that stealthily got near and is chewing on my pants... but hasn't anybody thought of the poor cows' own safety?
  • Plastic or real, bernockle?
  • You know, on second thought, I'm not going to be able to make it to your house for brunch tomorrow, bernockle...
  • Real, of course. I hate the smell of new plastic.
  • You know, sex only lasts a few minutes, less for frantic outdoor putlic-type sex, while a cow pretty much hangs around 24 hours a day.
  • 'So, what did you all do in the weekend... yes, Timmy?' 'Oh, babysitter took me to the park, to see the cows. A girl was milking one. Then the cow zipped his pants and they left. '
  • That's so bizarre it could've been biblical. This is why sex needs to be a dirty, guilt-ridden experience, people. Or, I guess maybe why it shouldn't...Outdoor sex sounds kind of nice though...
  • They have cows in Cambridge in England, grazing on the traditional commons. I don't think this is why, though :) (I think it's to maintain the traditional environment of the pasture, but this is a much funnier reason)
  • The British don't have sex, jb.
  • Then how do they get those little British people? They could be cloned - that might explain why all the little kids in England sound like 40 year olds.
  • I feel I have to correct some of your misconceptions about England. We don't have sex - we propagate in a similar way to plants, fertilising females through nice hot cup of teas. They're not little kids, they are a race of midgets, the indigenous population of the isles, now kept in virtual slavery in pubs to rest your pint on their heads.