September 10, 2004

You will become a great bore in your later years.
posted by FreddytheFish 20 years ago
  • You will post a stupid comment to MonkeyFilter What the!
  • If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. They've got me nailed.
  • You will not advance far with your meager abilities Well, I think my cellmates might disagree. Right, guys?
  • Don't be hasty, tragedy will knock down your door soon. Damn hurricanes.
  • and of course, don't forget the fortune-cookie tangent: add the words "in bed" to all fortunes. as in, You will not advance far with your meager abilities in bed heh.
  • To get what you want, you must commit yourself forever to dark forces. Do I get a cool helmet?
  • You will soon be dishonored by someone you respect. Man, that sucks. I'm going back to the lettuce thread.
  • You can not fall off the floor Clearly the person who wrote that has never tried.
  • if you do something right the first time, no one will know how difficult it was too right. Though, if you play it right and keep to yourself you got it done quickly, you can milk quite a bit of time leisure out of it. Which I would never do, but.
  • At least most of these are fortunes. I hate getting some sort of proverb like, "The steady one wins the race." I am looking for a little help in planning for future events in my fortune. I want to open a fortune one day that says something like, "Duck!" That would be useful. Proverb-fuckers.
  • What's even funnier is reading some peoples reactions.
  • May favorite IRL fortune was "If you don't want anyone to know about it, don't do it." I was a late teen-ager and had a quick moment of worry that they had bee looking over my shoulder...
  • I like that last letter. I have this suspicion it's not real (something about being written from beyond the grave), but it is amusing.
  • Now is the time for automobile servicing. WTF?
  • Path: Yes, GramMa IS watching you. Just. Don't. Do It. Because I have an evil heart and am greatly despised.
  • Idleness is the holiday of the wise. So... my laziness is a sign of wisdom? My old roommate once got a real fortune that said 'You would make a good lawyer.' He nearly refused to order from that restaurant ever again.
  • Beware the dark, mechanical bird. Oh thanks a million. Now I'll never get back to sleep.
  • Always remember to pillage before you burn Sensible advice for any monkey.
  • You have an ugly heart and are well-despised. Oh, that's what all the girls say.
  • you have little wit or energy; you have a reputation for being deceitful and treacherous. you will be unfortunate in all things you put your hands to. the star of poverty is shining on you. When I say it, it's negative thinking. I think their writer needs some cognitive therapy.
  • Bad Cookie said my dog will die, my river is nasty, and my pans are lead-based.
  • Only realizes now that it's actually CALLED "bad" cookie...
  • Only realizes now that it's actually CALLED "bad" cookie...