September 06, 2004

Build a time machine ."Scientists tell us it's technically possible. Here's a how-to guide for the ambitious tinkerer." I'd like to dedicate this post to Dreadnought (who in no way resembles Sylvester McCoy, I should stress - more Peter Davison).

If more advice is needed, How Time Travel Will Work might help. Time Travel for Beginners also features several useful articles by John Gribbin on the subject. If you don't mind downwhen temporal co-ordinates, this site from 1999 might be useful. All shamelessly ripped off from the Bergen County Cooperative Library System

posted by Plegmund 20 years ago
  • Start with a Black Hole ... Crap. Lost me already.
  • Do not insert head in black hole.
  • I'm touched. Touched. You realise, though, that this stuff could put me out of a job... Best be off, though. There's some trouble on the planet Svartos.
  • A director's cut of Donnie Darko is in some theaters, I just found out the other day.
  • BTW - If anyone needs me to kill their grandmother, e-mail's in the profile.
  • Do not insert head in black hole. Screw time travel. I want one of those black holes they used to have in cartoons. Like the ones that the Roadrunner would slap on the side of a cliff, and then run into, but when Wile. E. Coyote followed him in, he'd get tanked by a train or a truck coming the other direction. Kid, my granny is already dead, but does your offer extend to other family members? If so, just hypothetically, what would I expect to pay for such a service?
  • Let's not bring money into this, dub. It'll just make the whole thing so ... sordid.
  • I immediately thought about Uncle Rico and Kip from Napoleon Dynamite when I saw this thread. "It works, Napoleon. You don't even know." Damn. ND is the most quotable movie to come out in the past several years.
  • Shit, I'm sure I had a black hole lying around somewhere...
  • goatse?
  • Brownish-reddish, anyhow.
  • Once again, this would be an ideal time for the comments to start going backwards. Oh, and quid, you've already killed seven members of my family. Please stop now. I can't afford any more of your ludicrous "expenses" claims (the helicopter was unnecessary for killing my Aunt Anne, for example, given that you simply poisoned her).
  • Yeah, but he did have to fly all those scorpions in from South America. And The Scorpions in from a village pub somewhere near Wolverhampton.
  • Quidnunc does it have to be a family member?
  • Quidnunc: I'm in. My great grandfather is, um... George Herbert Walker. Yeah. Go get him.
  • PRESENT BILL AND TED: If you're really us from the future, then what number are we thinking of? FUTURE BILL AND TED: Sixty-nine, dudes!
  • I'm detecting a large increase in tachyon emissions!
  • Violations of causality will bring the Eschaton down on your ass.
  • Thanks everyone - you're all on my "to do" list. Right now I gotta jump back in time and zap US President Alphonso Kennedy's dad. Hopefully that'll avert the modern disaster of having a moron Democrat President who deceives us all into waging an idiotic war against Iran! See you all in the new time-line!
  • Well, I'm back! So, how's this timeli- ah, shit.
  • Damn it, I'll be telling you again in five minutes not to sneeze on the butterfly!
  • Quid, don't sneeze on the butterfly!
  • Bummer. In the old time-line, I was having a hot affair with Katie Holmes from TV's Dawson's Creek :(
  • Is that why she sometimes calls me Quid? I thought she thought I was money. Bummer...
  • In my timeline Katie Holmes used to be a man... A scottish man... Kateeey Holmes... yeah, right.
  • Hmmm. Does much to explain the abrupt disappearance of Holmes at that damn waterfall.