September 01, 2004

RealDoll Wow. I mean, wow. Kinda sad, really. (NSFW)
  • Oh yeah, I remember those being featured on the Howard Stern show. Sad, indeed. Melissa's hot though.
  • oddly enough, I was reading an article about Real Doll's new line of anime-inspired 'women' this morning [when your reading material consists of what some other commuter has discarded on the tube, you can't complain]. Meet Anna Mae. I hate puns.
  • Is she daisy's sister?
  • There is nothing "kinda" sad about it. Those things cost $6499.00!!! If you have that kind of money to spend on getting off, there are a lot less pathetic methods of doing
  • Hell, look at moneyjane's rate sheet. You could buy a whole lot of fun with a real person for that.
  • Okay, I didn't believe that moneyjane actually had a rate sheet so I had to check. You could get 99 hours of fun with a real person (who does, in fact, have fabulous tits amongst other fine qualities). That's if you're a cheapskate who doesn't tip of course.
  • I for one think $6500 is a fair price for silence. Not that I can afford to put that theory to the test. I might, however, be able to come up with enough spare change to get myself a Real Hamster.
  • I believe that Jenny was actually used on "Baywatch" as Pamela Anderson's acting double.
  • That hamster thing is sick and wrong. And really, really funny.
  • The faux hamster's nothing. I remember reading an interview with the guy behind RealDoll where he mentioned some of the 'special requests' he's gotten. Many of them even he was disturbed by. One was for a life-model doberman.
  • No, this is a real doll.
  • I'm still waiting for the RealGerbilâ„¢.
  • I'm a little disturbed to know that the RealHamster is a NZ creation, but not surprised that it should come from Lincoln, home of NZ's finest agricultural college and hence a large population of sheep-shaggers.
  • ~$7000 is a lot of money to invest into being eternally single.
  • Hi, Lisa!
  • Baaaaa.
  • It's kind of a great idea (hey, there should be innovative alternatives), but it's too bad that they all look kind of slutty in that pr0n kind of way.
  • I'm looking forward for the big 'Smith, Johansen, Kawaguchi et al vs. Sony-RealAibo android division' lawsuit of 2010, when all those sexy gynoids' Longhorn-based OS goes bonkers and they start chopping their owners'... fingers. Ouch.
  • Feh! I still got job security - people like to get touched back...you wouldn't believe how many back tickles and scratches I give, in addition to the ol' sumpthin' sumpthin'. They don't call it the world's oldest profession for nuthin'! You know what people really crave from a callgirl? Acceptance. Simply not being a judgemental bitch. That, some contortionistic abilities and a little strategic muscle control, and I'm golden.
  • ...back tickles and scratches... Aaah, foul temptress, stay back! :) stop... thinking... about... nails scratching back... shudder
  • I was going to ask this in a Curious George, but I will ask it here instead: Am I the only Monkey who is now planning a Vancouver vacation based on moneyjane and her website?
  • A fairly well-reviewed indie horror film just came out using this very thing as a premise: Love Object. I think it's on DVD now. I'd like to see it--sounds like Psycho meets Mannequin.
  • Ah, bernockle, I begged my boss to allow me to head up the Vancouver branch. Alas, all in vain, for he sussed my true intentions and, wise Master that he is, reminded me that my skills are best employed in the rank of Those Who Watch and Wait, not the spear-tip, and my sabre safely sheathed unless the need is dire. He understands well that fire, though it's heart seeks always the conflagration, must be tempered, banked and channelled if it is to serve. *slowly, carefully adjusts tie*
  • oh, thanks SO much for NOT posting a NSFW warning, my boss sits RIGHT BEHIND ME and can see EVERYTHING i have up on my screen.
  • Damn the machine, Fes, damn the machine. Sure, you can channel that fire into productivity, or you can let it explode into a corona of bliss, the memory of which will follow you for the rest of your days. Plus you get to see Canada.
  • "..my boss sits RIGHT BEHIND ME and can see EVERYTHING i have up on my screen." And he doesn't have a problem with you slacking off on Monkeyfilter all day?
  • "..my boss sits RIGHT BEHIND ME and can see EVERYTHING i have up on my screen." I'll tell you what you do.. you set up a webcam right behind him, then put the image up on your computer screen. He will see the back of his head, looking into the image of the back of his head.. in an infinite regress. Either his head will explode, he will have an acid-flashback, or he will be so confused that he will make a mistake. In the resulting confusion, you can make good your escape.
  • That, some contortionistic abilities and a little strategic muscle control, and I'm golden.
    *Pulls collar, lets cartoon steam escape*
  • I had a girlfriend who was a contortionist. A real one. In a circus.<
  • I had a girlfriend who was a contortionist. A real one. In a circus.< posted by Wolof at 07:32AM UTC on September 03 And your not with her because........why????? In other words "Dude, what's wrong with you?!!
  • Dazed and confused one hot and tragic July day, forgot where circus was camped, circus left without him...and why was that? Shot out of cannon too many times right after wild contorted sex with said girlfriend - too addled with bliss to remember crucial crash helmet. Only. Possible. Explanation. :)
  • why????? The squick factor when she dislocated her jaw during, um, you know.
  • Ah, but it seems she's doing fine, now. (NSF... people that can't believe this is actual advertising. I mean, WTF? Is it my overexposed, dirty mind, or next up we'll have tubgirl hawking Clorox or something?)
  • Flagpole: It does seem a little, uh, odd. I can only imagine the casting calls for that one.
  • Well, considering that their "Thickburger" TV spot now has a cowgirl in painted-on jeans straddling a slowly-thrusting mechanical bull and stretching her mouth EXTRA WIDE to accommodate said cheeseburger while "Slow Ride" pumps over the top, I'd say they know exactly what they're doing.
  • Salon article about the Real Doll phenomenon. Salon day pass dance required, of course. Apparently, they're taking off!
  • Some of Fiero's stories are the stuff of horror films. He once got an e-mail from two garbage collectors who found a Real Doll hacked to pieces in a dumpster. One owner sent Fiero a mutilated corpse of a doll. "The jaw in the doll was still in her skull, but behind her neck. Her hands were ripped off and fingers were missing. Her left breast was hanging on by a thread of skin, like your bra strap," he tells me, gesturing at my shoulder. Another time, an Asian undergraduate student at a university in California dropped his 1-year-old doll off for repairs. Fiero says the young man told him that his parents bought him the doll so that he would stay at home and study rather than go out chasing women. Fiero's photographs of the damaged doll make me cringe: Her leg was torn off, revealing the steel hardware of her hip joints; an arm hung by an inch of silicone flesh; two fingers were severed; and the cleavage between her buttocks was torn into a ragged crevasse.
  • weird. I thought they were for sex or something.
  • Can I get one that looks like Harriet Miers?
  • While he does do custom work on occasion for customers who are willing to pay the price or have legitimate needs, say a paraplegic who needs a lightweight doll he can easily move around in his lap -- McMullen does sometimes put his foot down. No lactating dolls, urinating dolls, amputees, 7-foot-tall dolls, Britney Spears replicas, or dolls with armpit hair or heartbeats. And no dogs either, as was the request of one prospective customer. "He asked me if I could make him a silicone dog, because he was a breeder, and he didn't want to hurt his dogs anymore, he said. He talked like right out of the movie 'Deliverance.'" McMullen's surfer-dude lilt plummets into a pungent drawl, "'Aw, I don't want to hurt ma dawgs, I like ma dawgs ... kin you make me one so ah kin still use it fer the sex?' And when I realized that he was legitimate, I was shocked. And I just politely said no, I'm sorry, gotta go, click." Another prospective customer sent nude pictures of his 60-year-old mother, wanting a custom-built replica. Then there was the surgical pathologist who wanted a vagina duplicated from a specimen he had in a jar. Hmmm... no mention of SCOTUS nominees. Maybe you'll get your wish, homunculus!