September 01, 2004

What's your favorite conspiracy? After this earlier post I got to thinking about conspiracies in general, and their entertainment value.

This is my favorite and has always gotten short shrift compared to his big brother's much more covered murder. Conspiracy theory doesn't have to be a jaunt into insanity, if you look at it purely as entertainment value. (Of course, you could just take the yeti line and say it's ALL part of The Conspiracy. But regardless, what's your favorite Conspiracy Theory?

  • That thae Illuminati secretly rule the world, with only the Justified Ancients of Mu Mu stopping them from completely imposing rigid (new world) order on all of us. This is true. I'd post more, but as I'm at work, the Illuminati are watching!! Mu Mu. Mu Mu (KLF!)
  • On reflection - notice the Illuminati pyramid at the top of waraw's link? I hate to say I told you so....
  • I don't believe fnord that there are any fnord conspiracies. People who fnord believe in conspiracies are fnord crazy.
  • I can't see them. I can't see them...
  • shit. 17 years ago by babywannasofa
  • Jesus Christ. Faul.
  • People yell 'conspiracy' as if the word alone dismisses any kind of speculation in this area. What foolishness. The history of the world is replete with successful conspiracies. Human civilization's most dramatic changes have been instigated by conspiracies. They don't all have to be about David Icke's lizard people or something from Robert Anton Wilson. It's as simple as crooked people getting together because their short term goals converge. People make the mistake of imagining some Masonic-like secret society in which everyone is on the same team, shaking hands in a funny way and meeting in large halls with sculptures of weird idols like Baphomet. I tend to think it works more along the lines of loose affiliations of corrupt individuals who only cover one another in order to protect their own interests. It has always been this way. Although Secret Societies should not be dismissed, they have certainly had major influence on history. More on culture, I would imagine, than politics, however. Anyway, who was Fulcanelli? As to JFK, my personal belief is that it was Murder on the Orient Express.
  • Thanks for taking all the fun out of it!
  • did you know people are STILL online debating conspiracy theories behind the O.J. Simpson murders case?? i find that fascinating. i did a story about them back in 2000, and they're still there today. yowsa.
  • I have a video presented by some guy who says he is hiding in his basement and is wanted by authorities. He is there to tell me that it was the driver who shot JFK. He then shows the video. When the driver makes a turn after the first gunshot, there is a reflection around where his hand should be. Then JFK's head goes violently back. Among other things, he says it explains why JFK's head snaps backwards, and why Jackie O decides it's a good idea to try to get the hell out of the car. It was fucking fantastic.
  • My favorite is O.J. related. Apparently, during the production of "Capricorn One," the Juice discovered from the technical advisor or somebody that the 1969 Moon landing really was faked. He was finally about to squeal in 1994 when NASA killed Nicole and Ron and framed O.J. I guess he's still keeping quiet now for fear that they'll botch another frame-job against him.
  • The guy down the street has the best one Beware the Evil Within The ice cream trucks in the neighborhood are all driven by arabic men. Last year, they converted the trucks to sell soft-serve ice cream cones instead of the frozen ice cream bars. The hillrod up the street refuses to let his kids get ice cream from these trucks. He claims it's a plot to poison the children by adding cancer causing agents to the soft serve mix. Every night at 8:30 when the truck arrives, his kids sit on the porch and watch as everyone else gets a treat. Ain't this a great country?
  • I've always been fond of the Lincoln assassination conspiracy. Apologies for the about.com link, it was the most comprehensive I could find after 15 whole seconds of searching.
  • Argh, that can't be true. Everyone knows that ice cream men are all drug dealers.
  • "He claims it's a plot to poison the children by adding cancer causing agents to the soft serve mix." I used to make soft serve ice cream and can therefore confirm that this is in fact true, although its not just arabic gentlemen who do this, but *all* purveyors of frozen dairy-style comestibles. And the cancer-causing agent comes from the underpant region. Also, the thing about being drug dealers is true, as well. You try making a living by selling popsicles & flake 99's. Just a little smack in the topping keeps the kids coming back for more and more.
  • I have to admit that JFK is my favorite. Coming from the Dallas area, it's so fun to go down to the Schoolbook Depository area and talk to all the people who hang out there all day handing out pamphlets and selling papers. These people are utterly convinced they're right and dedicated to making you think they're right, so they'll talk to you all day about why the mob/LBJ/the FBI/Santa Claus killed the president. (That area of Dallas is also a little eerie.... They have an X on the spot in the street where JFK was first hit. I've seen women crying there over the assasination, lo these many years later, and I saw one woman go kiss the X -- on a very busy street.)
  • Argh, that can't be true. Everyone knows that ice cream men are all drug dealers. I thought that ice cream men were pedophiles, not drug dealers. True story: the other day I was visiting my parents, who live in a half rural/half housing-development area (neighborhoods of houses on 1-acre lots, many neighboring pastures or woodland), walking around the block while my son rode his bike, and I heard the loudspeaker-tinkle of the traditonal ice cream truck music. We pulled over to let the truck pass. What's weird was, the truck blasting the music out was a plain gray van, no ads, no side-hatch for treat distribution, no nothing--driven by a late-middle-aged man with a gray beard and big thick-rimmed glasses who waved as he went by without smiling. I found that very creepy. Creepier even than Clint Howard.
  • Dude. Nothing's creepier than Clint Howard.
  • I am not sure how many people are aware that barbers have been taking hair for DNA samples for years. The red and white pole indicates that they are in on the government program to collect DNA samples on everyone. No pole, no DNA gathering.
  • All the Bilderbergers/Bohemian Gove/Illuminati/reptilian stuff is great to get lost into. Forget The DaVinci Crap: go straight for the real thing, Humberto Eco's Foucault's Pendulum. Used to check out a couple of the looniest conspirasites for the entertainment value, but lately I'm out of touch (stopped at the height of the 'chemtrails' rage). But the recent hints at the Gobernator's possible career path is quite amusing. Specially that bit about his upstaging during Reagan's funeral...
  • A few months ago I was sitting at dinner with a number of grad students and accademics, all of whom were (supposedly) experts on intelligence history in the Cold War. The conversation turned to Western perceptions of the Soviet Union, as it does, and I naturally started waxing lyrical about the Soviet plot to put flouride in our water and so polute our Precious Bodily Fluids. After a bit of strained politeness on their part, it gradually dawned on me that they had no idea what I was talking about.
  • My personal favorite is the fact that right now, at this very moment, most of you believe that you're wearing clothes. Runner up is anything to do with the trilateral commision/bilderberg club.
  • Pettle, that "ice cream" van story is pretty damn creepy.
  • I tried to read Foucault's Pendulum and found it impenetrable. I really wanted to like it, too, because I so hate The Da Vinci Code.
  • Every time I pick up F'sP I get discouraged by the very first page, which starts with a quote in hebrew.