August 30, 2004

Batman Sucks Forever Read the whole thing.

INT. WAYNE MANOR - TV ROOM - NIGHT Leggy walks into the room. Bruce is sitting in a bathrobe, drinking a beverage, wearing his slippers...and his Batman cowl! He is watching the news. TV Anchorman More on the deaths of Candy Walker and Amanda Keeler later. Our top story tonight deals with the imminent death of Robin, the Boy Wonder. The video you are about to see was given to us by Gotham's Clown Prince of Crime, the Joker.A video of Robin begins playing. He is tied to a buzzsaw trap, and looks quite distressed. He struggles against the straps holding him down, to no avail. Bruce, unconcerned, picks up a newspaper and begins reading. Leggy: What the...Bruce, what are you doing? Bruce: I'm reading the Gotham Times, why? Leggy: Shouldn't you be out saving Robin? Bruce: Oh, c'mon! He's the "Boy Wonder!" He can take care of himself. Leggy: Isn't he about to get sawn in half? Bruce: I've been in enough buzzsaw traps to know those things take forever to get to you. Leggy: I thought you two were supposed to be family. Bruce: Hey! I love Dick! I never want to hear anybody ever say I don't love Dick!
  • Great, double entendres, just what the world needs. *wanders grumpily off* *wanders back, offers this, exits*
  • It's actually very funny if you read the whole thing.
  • Really funny at the beginning, but the great details trail off as it goes on (and on).
  • I read the whole thing, and it reminded me so much of the 60s TV series, especially with the riddle-solving process. :)
  • When I was 14 I wrote some ungodly similar material. I fondly recall the Riddler's riddle being: What is black and white and read all over? Among the guesses were "a nun in a blender" and "a South African election." Ah, youth.
  • Hah! I read a few pages, and then STOPPED!
  • OMG I was laughing my ass off when I read this.