August 30, 2004

Furry hopping shark found in Germany.
posted by Wolof 20 years ago
  • Ahhhhh, I see. At first I thought it was a shark that jumped over furries. So many questions. Much better for everyone this way, really.
  • I'd say it's the furries who have jumped the shark, but whatever.
  • We need a new word, much in the manner of "igry", to describe the feeling you get when you know there must be a thousand superb, entirely original and devestatingly funny jokes about the furry hopping shark from Germany, and yet you can't think of s single one of them.
  • tiredness?
  • That would also explain the failure to be able to spell single letter words, yes.
  • Shaggy shark?
  • Oh...the Germans. And their furry hopping sharks. When will this "Look at me!" madness ever end?
  • News organisations are slipping - how could they run stories about shaggy sharks without even one picture? Dreadnought really, really wants to say "This story has jumped the shark", but he just doesn't have the guts. (Maybe Cuddles got them.)
  • I'm Cuddles the Shark, and I dwell in the gloom Of the muck in the bottom of an unclean tank Where the water's rank and even a furry frog-legged shark has room To roam. I swim rather well, my legs kicking like hell, My fur is all bristles, and just about as cozy to cuddle as thistles.
  • A squalid, hirsute Squalus, I eat algae, krill and molluscs, In a darkened cave I wave well-muscled fins, O woe to the apologist For an Austrian icthyologist; Fish omission is a taxonomic sin.
  • I'm rather disappointed that there isn't a picture.
  • My sources tell me that most of the pictures of Cuddles are of a very poor quality, I'm afraid, which is probably why the major news organisations aren't using them. *cough* Ahem.
  • There's a photo here. Translation'll cost you extra. Google "Coburg" and "hai" (German for shark) and you get heaps of relevant hits.
  • With apologies to Will Blake: Sharky, sharky what a fright! All that hair and all that bite! You sad and silly genesplicee! What for you look so damn fuzzy? I fear we have not seen the lows. What's next? A pair of gnu elbows? A pair of wings like planes from Delta Or Icarus before they melt-a? Gorilla's shoulders, giraffe's head, A tin man's heart forged out of lead? No; that fine heart they set a-beatin' Hails direct from lizards, leapin'. Twas accidental or on purpose? That your paws are canis ursus? A grand design? A grand disaster? Your pappy was a great grand bastard. What madman's plot, what foolish hurry To splice a shark and frog and furry? Did he smile this crazed pedant? Did he get his research grant? Sharky sharky, what a shame; That we do not know his name. Perhaps we'll suss it out in time, To halt this fishy Frankenstein.
  • [Perfect banana split between vitalorgnz and forksclovetofu! Double chocolate sauce and whipped cream!]
  • Pity the fearsome shark; who once dominated the predator's night; who took the angler Quint, whose mast was bangled with shorn teeth, for late supper; whose nictitation made us wee nightmare-riders think of evil dolls. Pity this, the shark, brought so low, that inexorable evolution drives it up the beach, grows it fur, to mimic that most perfect of killers. Welcome up, brothers! say we apes, whetting long knives and hoarding lemons.
  • furry, furry snapping fish how I think you'd like to wish for tasty krill bits in shaved ice or penguin flapjacks, twice as nice luscious lampreys boiled in beer, a sizzling quiche of seahorse ear, or garlic squidlings served with roe from deep-sea seabugs, friend and foe this fusion food would serve you well o hopping sharkoid, fuzzy swell furry, furry snapping fish my blended friend, you're quite a dish
  • The theological implications are staggering.
  • FurryHoppingSharkFilter
  • The shark doesn't look nearly as bad in that photo as some of the descriptions made it sound. I like how Cuddles appears to be waving to the viewer with with one of her little fins.