August 22, 2004

Why??
posted by Dr. Robotnik 20 years ago
  • I don't even want to know.
  • Was that Jon Voight? Sad.
  • There was a Super Baby Geniuses 1?
  • I found that the resolution of Super Baby Geniuses was ambiguous and called for -- no, demanded -- some sort of sequel. Hopefully, the underdeveloped storylines and unexplored issues of the original will be addressed in more detail. It is always exciting to find oneself in the midst of a great trilogy.
  • I see this as nothing other than a call for mass infanticide.
  • $$$. They'll buy anything we tell them to.
  • It's a poser, ain't it?
  • I quote the Pet Shop Boys: "What have I done to deserve this?" We all must have been very bad monkeys.
  • Because somebody got really high, watched Baby Geniuses, and decided it was freakin' awesome. They made some phone calls while they were still trippin' balls and a lot of money got spent before they sobered up. Now, by the cold light of day, it's too late. The executive produceer's already dumped a cool $5 mil, the director shot the thing and got it edited together; Rob Zombie signed up to do the soundtrack, dropped out, and they got some no-name hack to do his thing, but they can't back down cause, well, who want's to be frontin' with Rob Zombie and then all of a sudden bupkis? So, like, all this stuff's happened, and now someone's agent is on the phone and like, Morty's freakin at the front office and saying heads are gonna roll man, heads are gonna roll, gimme a release date and by the way, Jenna's already cooked up the posters and sent them to the printer, so if you don't release, Morty's gonna come down there and personally rip off your head and drop a steamer down your throat. The publicity machine is all cranked up, the distributors are, frankly, wetting themselves because they remember what happened last time, but since they're the ho's to Hollywood's pimp, who are they to say: Hey, look, maybe someone needs to chill on the Baby Genius thing, ya' know? And here we are. (I swear to whatever deity may exist above, below, or sideways, I am sober. This is the only explanation I could come up with.)
  • Why? Because sometimes the universe plain gets it wrong. And movies devised without consulting authors, script editors, creatives of any kind, tend to be less interesting than a Toilet Epiphany.
  • Why not?
  • Now no man can deny that we truly live in the golden age of cinema.
  • I'm still holding out for Breakin' 3: Electric Booga-lee.
  • I'm still waiting for The Last Dangerous Visions.
  • I want Zeffirelli to do a sequel to his 'Jesus of Nazareth' entitled 'Jesus of Nazareth and Robin'
  • Now no man can deny that we truly live in the golden age of cinema. Abbas Kiarostami agrees with you.
  • well, he would, wouldn't he. Absolutely bloody typical.
  • Titanic 2: Still Sinkin' Van Helsing 2: Abbot and Costello meet Hugh Jackman Showgirls 2: Harder, Faster, More Breakin' 3: Electric Boogaloo 2 (with apologies to the_bone) Leonard 6.5: Black Men Be Proud Look Who's Talking 5: Pulp Fiction is So Over Okay, that'll do. Somebody get me a Hollywood Exec to fling this poo at.
  • Godfather 4: The Return of Sofia Coppola It'll be the greatest zombie gangster movie ever.