August 20, 2004
So you wanna be a spy?
Earn your official degree on this secluded pacific island - and it's even better than that one you found in that cereal box!
Despite being offered by Universitas Indonesia, and supported by the ANU, it brings some interesting questions to mind, foremost being "WTF? Bob, if you wanna be a spy, rule one is: don't tell the world."
Word is some Australians have already signed up, in which case their careers in intelligence are over before they've begun.
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But if I enroll, when do I start getting all the cool gadgets a la James Bond? highly accessible from Singapore Is that the real reason Alnedra was in Singapore? Is librarian just her cover?
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US$20 000, huh? Where's it say the ANU's hooked in with this, ceph? I didn't notice that on-site. (I probably could try harder, but sometimes it's more fun just to ask.)
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Sorry, I should've provided more credentials. The Sun-Herald says two of the lecturers from the Strategic and Defence Studies Centre in the ANU, Robert Ayson and Clive Williams, are all for it, and Williams himself will be delivering lectures there. Their endorsement is a selling point, but that's what mystifies me. Williams is a former DIO heavy, and is now second as an Australian terrorism 'expert' only to Rohan Gunaratna. So surely he'd know anyone who goes here will be noted by foreign powers (Indonesia, China, etc.) and therefore be useless in undeclared work... (and the price...yeah...well...anyone who takes a loan out for US$20k ain't going to be paying it back with a government salary :P)
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*snicker* Right, like Western agencies are going to be queueing up to hire spies from an Indonesian school. Really want to be a spy? Go to the GCSB, GCHQ, or your local equivalent with conversational-level skills in a number of interesting modern languages, or a protgrad degree in mathmatics. They'll be falling over themselves to get hold of you if you pass a security clearance.
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s/protgrad/postgrad/
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But western agencies do like peeps who speak both Indonesian and Arabic.
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They'll be falling over themselves to get hold of you if you pass a security clearance. Very true. And you're sure to be employed for a good long time in neverending war against the forces of, um, we'll get back to you on the details.
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Personally, I think being trained in an Indonesian school would be a big benefit to having a career in intelligence, especially if you speak fluent Bahasa. That's why such a premium is placed on flipping former/current spies of target nations. But to attend a school which basically announces to the world you want to head in that direction is not a good move. I agree with rodgerd that skills in another area will put you in good stead (although the phd in maths you mentioned as suitable for GCHQ/NSA/DSD are different than what a non-technically oriented spy would find useful).
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I considered appying for a job with these guys for a while, even discussed it with a couple of spooks, but I don't think I really have the right personality for it.
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DSD SIGINT TRANSCRIPT : SECRET : FOR AUS/US/NZ EYES ONLY INDONESIAN PHONETAP - 27082004 - 2051:36 SUBJECT A: So I said to Osama, "Yeah, Opera House, Centrepoint Tower, they're all good". SUBJECT B: Oh, what did he decide? I'm down with the Jihad, here. SUBJECT A: He said do them all - burn the city, just like Moscow in 1815. *click* AGENT WOLOF: 1815!? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? You mean 1812, you pompous ignoramus. READ. A. BOOK. *click* [5 SECOND PAUSE] SUBJECT A: Abdullah? Who the fuck was that? SUBJECT B: I don't know. He sounded French.
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Christophine, I have to kill you now. Please give me your home addy.
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Omong-omong, saya berbahasa Indonesia. Tidak bagus, tetapi begitulah! (-;
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I have a nice little rejection letter from these guys. In a sense, I'm kind of glad that I didn't get the job.
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Stand down, Double-o Nedra...
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My dad applied to work at the NSA back in the 70s dues to his background in engineering and math. He said that aptitude test and that of the Post Office were the two toughest he ever had to take.