August 17, 2004

He was missing from his Reserve duties because ... he was working as ... a spy??!? Two strong pieces of writing worth a look; the first is noted in Metafilter -- the Joe Darby article. The second is this George Bush story, also from the current GQ. He was missing from his Reserve duties because he was ... a spy? And later assigned to be a Watergate burglar? And maybe Deep Throat? You can read both the Joe Darby story and this one from the same source, a few pages away. Work back from the printable-page link.

If this isn't brilliant disinformation, it's an amazing rat's nest of a story. I dunno.

  • 'On the other hand, Bush was able to provide valuable information about Warhol and the Velvets. He even recommended that the government consider exiling Lou Reed to Madagascar. "I don't get his singing," Bush wrote in a SUMS memo. "That's not singing. That's, like, talking. And besides, I think he likes guys."' Brilliant.
  • Well, at least they're trying to come up with a good excuse. hehehe I bet that before he was a spy, he was a game show host. When he approached the reserves recruiter, he was overheard saying "Let's make a deal!"
  • I don't really understand "humour".
  • I'm with Wolof. What is this "satire" thing all about? Me go sleep now.
  • I'm a spy too. And you're ALL going to be in my report! Especially pete, I think. Yes indeed, especially pete.
  • *gives the index-and-middle-finger bird to Fes, runs*
  • Oh, that's IT! You are SOOOOO going to be interrogated, mister! Full body cavity search, too! You can run, but you can't hide, pete_best! *guy in suit steps up, whispers into Fes' ear, the word "osama" clearly audible* OK, well, you can hide, but not forever, pete_best! *guy steps up again, more whispering* Doh! Damn your intelligence-agency-confounding hiding skills, pete_best!
  • *lifts cardbord box up just enough to see out - drops box back down immediately*
  • "Several sources with knowledge of SUMS's operations during that period say Bush was immediately dispatched on a string of low-level training missions to build up his experience in the field. First was Russia, where Bush worked with CIA operatives to break up a gunrunning operation orchestrated by disgruntled Soviet troops. From there he moved to India, where he helped train a mounted brigade assembled to kidnap the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (a mission that would fail due to an untimely monsoon). Next for Bush was New Zealand, where he assisted officials with helicopter surveillance of sheep poachers, and then Monaco, where he taught the crown prince's bodyguards how to fire assault rifles while waterskiing in tuxedos." Brilliant.
  • So... GWB = James Bond? Wow.
  • and then Monaco, where he taught the crown prince's bodyguards how to choke on a pretzel.
  • *watches as pete_best's cardboard box explodes, right next to the larch tree*
  • I think you need a spider hole pete!
  • The larch. The larch. The larch. And now...