August 16, 2004

Wacky Courtcases including United States v. Satan.

Plaintiff, alleging jurisdiction under 18 U.S.C. § 241, 28 U.S.C. § 1343, and 42 U.S.C. § 1983 prays for leave to proceed in forma pauperis. He alleges that Satan has on numerous occasions caused plaintiff misery and unwarranted threats, against the will of the plaintiff, that Satan has placed deliberate obstacles in plaintiff's path and has caused plaintiff's downfall. Plaintiff alleges that by reason of these acts Satan has deprived him of his constitutional rights.
Oddly enough, the plaintiff's application was denied, for fear that, "If such action were to be allowed we would also face the question of whether it may be maintained as a class action. It appears to meet the requirements of Fed.R. of Civ.P. 23 that the class is so numerous that joinder of all members is impracticable".
  • *A soldier was dancing with a girl when she collapsed in his arms, after which he took her to his car and was intimate with her. He thought that she was drunk, but she was actually dead--convicted: attempted rape.* This is sad, how could a person not know someone is dead when they are being intimate with them? He must of been drunk too, live people breath. I just can't understand how a person would not notice someone is not breathing when they are that close to someone, you know being intimate and all.
  • Certainly sounds like wacky shenanigans.
  • Ohh! Embedded midis are my favorite
  • We question whether plaintiff may obtain personal jurisdiction over the defendant in this judicial district. The complaint contains no allegation of residence in this district. While the official records disclose no case where this defendant has appeared as defendant there is an unofficial account of a trial in New Hampshire where this defendant filed an action of mortgage foreclosure as plaintiff. The defendant in that action was represented by the preeminent advocate of that day, and raised the defense that the plaintiff was a foreign prince with no standing to sue in an American Court. This defense was overcome by overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Whether this would raise an estoppel in the present case we are unable to determine at this time. This is damn good.