August 14, 2004

President Saparmurat Niyazov - or Turkmenbashi, as he likes to be known - has just banned television presenters from wearing makeup. Turkmenistan's crazy-ass president, whose recent decrees have included banning gold teeth, long hair, beards, gravity, cheese, peas, cheesy-peas and Barry Manilow, has told television presenters to stop wearing make-up because he had difficulty telling the men from the women.
posted by Nostrildamus 20 years ago
  • Monkeyfilter: Not Obsessed With Turkmenbashi, Not One Bit Keep up the good work, I can't get enough of this stuff.
  • If he has difficulty in knowing the difference between men and women perhaps he should enstate a cellophane pants and underwear rule, or gender tags.
  • There's nothing crazy about banning Barry Manilow.
  • Reminds me of Esposito from the Woody Allen movie "Bananas." From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now... 16 years old.
  • Hooray! A new Turkmenbashi Thread!
  • No no no no nononononononoooooooooo... Spacetime will unravel. Please, stop the Bashi-forking, I beg of you. Will no one think of the muskmelons?
  • If Bush ends up invading Turkmenistan the weekend before the election, I blame MonkeyFilter.
  • GRAVITY????????????? wow
  • ha ha ha.
  • Stupid gravity!!
  • I remember all my life Raining down as cold as ice A shadow of a man A face through a window Crying in the night The night goes into Morning, just another day Happy people pass my way Looking in their eyes I see a memory I never realized How happy you made me oh Bashi [Chorus:] Well you came and you gave without taking But I sent you away, oh Bashi Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking And I need you today, Turkmenbashi I'm standing on the edge of time I Walked away when love was mine Caught up in a world of uphill climbing The tears are in my mind And nothing is rhyming, oh Bashi [Chorus] Yesterday's a dream I face the morning Crying on the breeze The pain is calling, oh Bashi [Chorus] You came and you gave without taking But I sent you away, oh Bashi You kissed me and stopped me from shaking And I need you...
  • So Cheesy-Peasy, Trucka-Lucka, and Hecka-Pecka all ran down the road to tell the Bashi the sky was falling.
  • If Bush ends up invading Turkmenistan the weekend before the election, I congratulate MonkeyFilter.
  • Oh sure, it's funny now but just wait till he bans John Tesh. Who'll be laughing then? Huh? Hmmm? I thought so.
  • you sick forks.
  • i feel unusual: thanks a lot, now I can't stop laughing. I haven't been a Turkmenbashi thread participant, but I have to say, when I was watching the parade of nations today and Turkmenistan came on, all I could think of was you guys. :)
  • Turkmenistan should really give beeswacky honorary citizenship. And if they already have a Poet Laureate, beeswacky should be Vice Poet Laureate, damnit.
  • Turkmenistan should really give beeswacky honorary citizenship. beeswacky should also be an honorary sloth. All species love beeswacky!
  • As far as I'm concerned, bees is ALREADY a Vice Poet of some sort or other.
  • Eeek! I've been outed!
  • Turkmenbashi, you look mahvelous!
  • Well, now we know Bashi's not likely to ever ban toupees...
  • This demands a roadtrip. Are those delicious little seven-ounce bottles of Bud banned yet? Because they are awesome on a roadtrip.
  • You drink Bud? You find it delicious? /boggle
  • I live in St. Louis, it's the law. And really, is the shotgun seat of BlueHorse's pickup truck really the place for schooners of Stella Artois? I gotta refold the map too, you know.
  • There's just no accounting for some people's Bush. Taste, there's just no accounting for some people's taste.
  • I tried accounting for other people's bush. Then insert double entendre-revealing joke here, preferably involving time in prison.
  • Wow. 27 comments? I think we finally broke it. (28)
  • and it was turning into such a fine thread
  • I admit to having faulty intelligence that this was the Turkmenbashi thread. it's a Turkmenbashi thread, tho.