In class
Don't interesting
writing, hearing, sleeping
time passes so slowly
pain
Submitting this little masterpiece to the teacher requires a certain something...
I, for one, welcome our new Dr. Robotnik overlord.
Some of these are quite exceptionally pretty. Especially:
Now
Sky crying
Dark, cold, hard
Stop crying and smile
Please
I think we've all been there.
btw, seeing as someone else will ask anyway - is this a self-link, or is this guy a relative of yours? The email addresses having the same surname, and all... Just trying to prevent any potential newcomer bashing... :-)
The love and river poems got to me most. Thanks.
Upon reading again, there's something hauntingly odd about
Dream
I making
car painter. car mechanic
take very long time
Wonderful
which speaks to me in ways I cannot yet know. It feels like both an evocation of childhood, a premonition of old age, and a satire on adulthood. I dunno... perhaps I'm reading too much into it... hmmmm.
The Beatles
When I was younger so much
younger than today
I never neede anybody
Hey...
I like these - sometimes inelegant, sometimes beautiful, all with real effort involved. Thanks.
Damn, is it really a self-link? I was hoping it wouldn't be. Come on, Dr. Robotnik, prove otherwise or I'll have to delete it for the sake of consistency.
Rivers
A lot of waters
A lot of distasters
A lot of hydroelectric power stations
Mysteriously
Er, maybe poetry is not for you, son, but have you considered the insurance business...?
I don't think it's a self-link... I think it's an older-brother-link. Which maybe should've been said in the post, but the sheer niceness of this makes it (to my mind) pretty much fine.
I think it's an older-brother-link.
Stet.
This is an excellent link, most enjoyable, a shame if it gets trashed.
I find this narrative most amazing for the way extraneous detail has been pared away from the bare bones of the poem's subject:
Love
Don't love
I loved you
I was disillusioned he
dislike
This one, though, may be my favorite:
River
Rivers are a lot of face
There are glad angry sad happy
It's like people
So beautiful
I'm with flashboy - maybe a younger brother link though? Ah, the mysteries of Dr. Robotnik.
Semantics corner - would a link to your older brother be an older-brother-link or a younger-brother-link? Which self does the 'self' in self-link refer to - the self that links, or the self that is linked to? Hmmm? Anyway, I meant I think the linked gentleman is Dr Robotnik's older brother. And that his students write hauntingly evocative half-poetry. And that it feels weird talking about Dr Robotnik like this when he's not in the room, but with the awareness that when he comes back into the room, all the word's we've said about him will still be hanging in the air. Which all reminds me of Danny O'Brien's superb piece about the lack of a private register on the internet. Anyway. Hey ho. Hi, Doc! Have a banana.
Semantics corner - would a link to your older brother be an older-brother-link or a younger-brother-link?
I immediately "thought" the same thing.
literally as I hit post I thought about that, and decided no matter which way YOU meant it, there was the opposing possibility. I think an 'older brother' link would be to my older brother.
'course, it could also be his twin. Or his dad. Or uncle.
I'll stop now.
word's
I never "believed" I would so badly misplace an apostrophe.
/grammar self-nazi
I probably "posted" too quickly.
Excuse me, too "quickly".
An infinite number of misspellings are lurking out there -- and they keep creeping and crowding into everyone's work, the encroaching little beasts.
River
River of misspellings
Like unhappy people
I want semantic love
Now please
*loves*
If only you weren't so short.
while these are interesting i can't help but wonder how frickin' awful my poetry would be if i tried to write it in japanese, if i had only a third-grade level of understanding of the language. i imagine my poetry would pretty much suck then.
all i have to say, i suppose, is that while their english ain't pretty it's a hell of a lot better than my japanese. i can say "thank you" and "please" and "forbidden" and that's about it. (can't even ask where the potty is. or order a beer. poor lil' me.)
frogs: Japanese poetry is quite different than prose. Might want to read lots of Japanese poems before attempting any.
There are specialized archaic words and word-fragments used as place-holders to make a syllabic line-count come out correctly but which are otherwise entirely devoid of meaning in modern Japanese, for starters. (And that's just with reference to Japanese haiku.)
Japan has such a long history -- was plenty of time for a complex and rich literature to develop, and also, for long periods writers operated in relative isolation from other traditions, so the poetry has some unique features and forms.
word-fragments used as place-holders to make a syllabic line-count come out correctly
...but ...but ...that's cheating!
I gin to be aweary of the sun [Macbeth V.v.55] would be I begin to be weary of the sun if it didn't have to fit the meter, but it do, so there you are.
...but ...but ...that's cheating!
Heh. All's fair in love and literature.
lits et ratures
Adam Graunke is my brother.
A-ha!
Damn, I still can't delete this. Nobody look. I'm being inconsistent.
And, uh, don't do it again.
Have we policy on sibling-linking? I don't think there's any inconsitency here, trac. This is kinda making new case law. Or something. If it'd been a link to his brother's spiffy new credit card service, deletesville. But it was really nice post, in which nobody benefitted except us lovers of hauntingly evocative poemoids in uncertain English. I'm not sure how the arguments against self-linking expand out to cover relatives... and friends, too? But then, I am very tired.
Welcome to MonkeyFilter, by the way, Dr Robotkin. Never knowingly under-analysed. ;-)
I thought it was nice, too. And certainly something I'd have never seen otherwise.
I like this post as well, flash. Just figuring out what's okay to let go and what's not, with the whole slippery slope thing. Please, go about your business.
We love you trac!
Nice post Dr. Robotnik. Just don't abuse your luck.
when nothing stays the same
long untenanted
the thread
a page lies blank
yet no one grieves
brief lines
without a cause
just end
a breath
is silently released
slight flutter
on the left
and rustling
dry as leaves
a gasp, a slackened line
another stanza turned
a second breath is held and held
all whispers finally stilled
love andliterature.lits et ratures