August 08, 2004

Thirty-Two Things that President Bush is Not. ...And one thing that he is. Because he said so.
posted by StoryBored 20 years ago
  • I'n not those things, either. What about it?
  • Well when it comes to leading the nation into war and putting young people in harm's way it would be kinda nice if he were more of a "precision guy"
  • Well, I wish he woz a tree.
  • I, for one, am disgusted that the President of the United States is not a very good novelist.
  • I, for one, am disgusted that the President of the United States is not a very good novelist. If only Al Gore Vidal was in the Whitehouse! He invented the novel, you know.
  • In the Lord's sixth incarnation as Al Gore Vidal Sassoon, he blessed the world with his invention of styling mousse. The subsequent avatar, Al Gore Vidal (Siegfried) Sassoon, wrote celebrated poems of WWI; whereas Al Gore Vidal (Siegfried and Roy) Sassoon was the first to train the white tiger OK I'll stop now sorry.
  • let's see that comes to a grand total of . . . 2,328 laps quidnunc. You'd better get going, it'll be dark soon.
  • You're just jealous because YouCanCallMe Al Gore Vidal (Siegfried and Roy) Sassoon has more incarnations than you! Nyaaah! *begins running laps*
  • I was there when You Can Call Me Al Gore Vidal (Siegfried and Roy Rogers) Sassoon swam the Atlantic.
  • Didn't ol' YouCanCallMe Al Gore Vidal (Siegfried and Roy Rogers and Hammerstein) Sassoon write a musical about that?
  • If you don't look good, we don't look good: that's all I know, And from the gloom I watch an endless picture-show, Where wild or listless faces flicker on their way, To the alley with some roly-poly little bat-faced girl, Because, you know, there's nothing like a dame. They'll have to shoot me first to take my gun, And still, between the tigers and the blinding flame, The brave despair of men flings onward, ever the same: Trying to put Social Security in an ironclad lockbox, Never missing a chance to have sex or appear on TV.
  • Wow, spackle. Just... wow.
  • To Apply Bushwax Be stingy Deceitful -- And ungracious, With weaker enemies, -- Audacious, With your allies, -- Contumacious, With voters, -- Brazenly Mendacious.
  • You Can Call Me Al Gore Vidal (Siegfried and Roy Rogers) Sassoon-Yi Previn Allen. What a glorious derail! And spackle, you get the spot right before beeswacky at the MoFi Poetry Jam. This must be why my blog's item about this (three weeks ago) (self-link) got no responses. Apparently, kottke and I are the only people in the blogosphere introspective enough to make our own lists of "What I am NOT". Also trying to draw attention to my blog: The "I Am Not" Hall of Fame. (Can anybody explain why Google AdSense put ads for "Alf DVDs" and "Quintuplets" on that page?) End of Stream of Consciousness: somebody turned off the hose.
  • And I know, quidnunc, you wish you were in my stream of consciousness... it's damn hot!
  • If only I could bathe me in the cool stream of your consciousness, wendell - 'cos it's still damn hot, my friend! At 11pm, goddammit!
  • Sassoon, wasn't he the Walloon who played bassoon in the balloon?
  • the fuck?
  • At noon, the loon. *dials Wendell for foon, checks horizon for poon*
  • Under the expert production of You Can Call Me Al Gore Vidal (Siegfried and Roy Rogers and Hammerstein) Sassoon-Yi Previn Irwin Allen, the balloon struck a skyscraper, which exploded into a towering inferno.
  • The monsoon comes too soon, Still no poon, The Walloon's a macaroon, He falls on his harpoon.
  • turmenbafoon?
  • turk-. DAMN!
  • Okay, here goes... Yu-Gi-Oh Can Call Me Al Gore Vidal (Siegfried and Roy Rogers and Hammerstein) Turkmenbashassoon-Yi Previn Irwin Allen Ginzberg And, puh-leeze... quonsar's got the "foon", I've got the Foop.