July 22, 2004

• Hmmmm. Flannel Revolution.
• Rule #7 is 'no dry-humping'? That's total bullshit. Fuck that. I'm cancelling my membership. Fucking weirdos.
• $30/head seems to be a bargain. Or did I read that wrong?
• Giddy, gorgeous, giggling girls! I love the curves They throw me Before they get to know me!
• As adults we STILL NEED TO BE HELD! Held, hugged, touched, stroked, caressed, piled atop on, reclined across, nuzzled, and affectionately massaged. Wedge, I believe that qualifies as dry humping.
• As an up-tight Brit, I find this most unorthodox, unsettling and just plain wrong. Our cousins across the sea have obviously let standards slip over the past couple of hundred years. Where's the boozed-up fondling? The amusing flatulence? That's no party...
• I usually like to show up at these parties, uninvited... which generally happens sometime after all the cuddling has already started. posted by Blue Balls at 00:69AM UTC on July 22 Really? Can I come next time? posted by Hugh G. Rection at 01:02AM UTC on July 22 Probably not... you've been known to make a bit of a mess. (Remember, rule #15 clearly states that you should "clean up after yourself.") Besides, no one likes a sausage fest. posted by Blue Balls at 01:15AM UTC on July 22 We've been seeing a lot of new members lately...
• You know, this just wouldn't work with the average Kiwi bloke, who is scared of nothing - nothing - so much as the sight of a man approaching him with the intent to give him a hug.
• This seems like a good idea.
• This something I wouldn't do. Too touchy, feely for me. Shudders at the thought.
• I'll cuddle family, friends, pets and especially Mister shinything, but the thought of cuddling a stranger creeps me out. GIMME BACK MY TEDDY BEAR!
• I'm with bratcat, albeit at a distance that implies respect for both of our personal space. I don't like massages either. Backrubs, neckrubs, what have you. I always end up 10x tenser than I started. Of course, like cats mobbing an allergic, a steady parade of people come in and out my office, stopping without invitation to rub my neck and shoulders. What's up with that?? Perhaps I'm just a cold, inhuman automaton. *absently dissects small adorable furry animal with steely fingers while pondering automatonity*
• Gah. That would drive me mad. I'm going to Montreal instead.
• You better loosen up one day and get a *real* good massage, Fes. Surely your coworkers are dong it wrong. Why, I'd offer one, but it might give a bad impression so let's leave it at that. As for these flannel guys... yes, being around in PJs sounds just great, and the cuddling... but the ensuing non-releasable sexual tension, and having to cope with some stranger with an erection (more likely to be me...) just brings it on to the weird zone. But yes, we need a hug then and there, as often as possible. I'm not the kind of guy that hugs and stroke shoulders and high fives everyone at parties, but that simple contact with people really discharges a lot of pent-up tension, so to speak. I guess that's one of the main perks of being in a relationship: not just the sex, but the simple act of expressing emotion and affection with something as simple as holding a hand or nuzzling your nose against your SO's shoulder... (yes, I woke up in wimpy, touchy-feely mode. Sorry)
• Get your Cuddle Life Guard On Duty or Cuddle Caddy if there's a concern, problem, or question or should you feel unsafe or need assistance with anything during the Cuddle Party. BWHAAAAAAAAAA HA HA
• oh and here's one of the founders... REiD Mihalko is a bi-coastal sex and romance coach currently based on the island of Manhattan. the rest of his bio mentions sex seven times. oh, and he spells his name that way: REid. heh.
• (oh, BTW, great find!) *cuddles up to forks*
• get a *real* good massage, Fes. Surely your coworkers are dong it wrong. ...paging Dr. Freud, Dr. Freud, please come to the reception area....
• Wedge, we've already told you, your imaginary friends are not welcome unless they start chipping in for the beer. Or if they pay my $30 for head.
• Just when you thought you'd seen everything... Friends, yes (though I have no friends close enough for that at the moment). Strangers, eurrgh. Not that they automatically have cooties, but something about it seems so desperate and lonely - all physical, no emotional contact - that it bothers me. I get the same reaction from people with "Free Hugs" signs at my brand of geek conventions, and ravers in general. I feel like shaking them, "Don't you make friends? These people are strangers. Even if they've got their hands on your ass. They are not your friends." They have half a point about the culture being touch-phobic, but it goes off the rails after that.
• Fes, sounds like your workplace is a little overdue for some Sensitivity Training. :-p
• first person account of a cuddle party
• I made the mistake of visiting this site while eating lunch.
• From SideDish's link: "We were each assigned a "cuddle buddy," which REiD likened to having a swim buddy at camp. If sexual energy "cropped up" in the room, a bell would sound and we would have to find our buddy and raise our hands to be counted." Um. Wow. I must be a prude as the whole practice seems to be a little, for a lack of better word, wierd. Then again I didn't get a lot of hugs as a kid.... Where's that therapist's number again...
• Jesus fuck that's an annoying site with annoying people. If I had a Taser... I'd tase 'em in the moorrrrning... I'd tase 'em in the eeeevening... all over this laaaaand.... Fes, I don't particularly like to be touched, and I truly loathe touching strangers. But a good massage so far from this diarrhea-laced cuddle party nonsense that you can't even place it on the same planet. As for your coworkers, they need to learn that No fucking means No. I have a masseur, a mighty, muscular Russian gent. When he works you, he goes straight for the infrastructure, somehow bypassing the skin completely. I have no idea how he does it. I certainly don't feel like I've been "touched."
• "PUPPY PILE!" shouted almost every other member of the group with gusto. Hmmm... you did patent that Room o' Puppies thing, did you, Sidedish?
• I like this thing. I read the personal account, and perused the site, and I still like it. My friends often hug (male and female) in times of parting or greeting, and is very common to be some sort of touching going on (hand on shoulder, pat on back). It's interesting because the hug given says a lot about how each is feeling about the other person at the time. Tentative hugs for tentative minds. While cuddling with absolute strangers (who by the firsthand account would all be much much older than me) would be a different experiance, it would not be too much different than other similar community-minded events where you are close to strangers. This includes self-help groups, testimonies at rallies, or even just being at a party or concert where you are constantly rubbing up against your neighbors. Seems like fun, I am far far away from NYC, but if I were there, or it came here, I'd like to check it out.
• OH BOY! A party!! I can't wait to get there. I packed my stuffed horsie and my cowboy print pajamas. First thing when I get there, I'm going to giggle and give air kisses to all the girl Monkeys. Then I'm going to give Pete_best, Rodgerd, Wolof, and BBF noogies. MCT and Wedge are going to get Indian rub burns. Then I'm gonna wack the stuffing out of Surlyboi with my pellow. Nostril's gonna get an ice cube down his pjs. JerryG and Kit get high fives. Fes'll probably be late, but when he gets there, I'm gonna give him a biiiiiiiig hug and a wet sloppy kiss on the top of his forehead. Then me and Bees are going off into the night to sit in a quiet bar to hold hands and recite bad-to-verse poetry. /adolescent daydream
• LoopieG: Wanna hold my horsie?
• overdue for some Sensitivity Training... As for your coworkers, they need to learn that No fucking means No. Ah, well, you know, I haven't actually said "stop doing that" to them in outright verbal form. I just spike up like a hedgehog confronted by a housecat and wait until they're done. I suppose I should speak up, but *shrug* In the grand scheme of Things My Colleagues Do That Drives Me Batshit, this one is smallish. And sometimes they bonk their boobies against the back of my head, which is not entirely unpleasant. I have a masseur, a mighty, muscular Russian gent. I've tried professional masseurs (bunch of knuckleheads got some sort of group deal, and ended up tagging along), goetter, and the same thing: I end up leaving far more jittery and tense than when I walked in. It's not a freakout or phobia kind of thing, I just don't get the same thing out of it as other people. Fes'll probably be late, but when he gets there, I'm gonna give him a biiiiiiiig hug and a wet sloppy kiss on the top of his forehead. Plenty of forehead to work with, my lovely equestrienne. Take your time :D
• *waits for kiss, uses opportunity to look down BlueHorse's blouse*
• Oh sure, Fes gets the forehead lick and the cleavage shot from BlueHorse, and I get the burned forearm. ;) I'll console myself by getting pete really drunk and coaching him on how to talk to the women.
• Ok, Fes, it's platonic MASSAGE TIME for you! (and my pjs are flannel and button under my chin, so there) *punches MCT That's cause mom always loved you best!
• *platonically massages own jaw, takes liquor back from pete_best*
• So sex/romance coach is a profession now? I picture the party's host attending dates between client and innocent bystander, whispering in client's ear, "Ok, the sexual/romantic energy is building, thanks to my expert guidance. Now, run your forefinger along her jawbone and tell her you could break your heart on it." "NO,NO! Asking someone for a blow job before dessert is a bad thing! Now, you've ruined it!" "Ok, well we got through the land mines you threw out in your desperation to be cool, and we've managed to talk her into bed, but really, you're technique leaves something to be desired (get it?). Let me demonstrate..."

• And sometimes they bonk their boobies against the back of my head, which is not entirely unpleasant.

  Dammit, I'm off to make some demands of my colleagues. Bluehorse: from Wikipedia:

  Some others consider "noogie" to mean the act of sexual intercourse, as an alternate version of "nookie".

  That's delightful, but my wife might object 8).
• Can I just say that I have absolutely no idea what a noogie is. Either I'm from the wrong country or woefully innocent.
• That's what the Wikipedia is for, BBF.
• Well, around HERE a noogie is the act of rubbing your knuckles on someone's head in a scrubbing motion, causing them to duck and juke away. And you really had to reach for that, because the first two definitions agree with ME! A noogie is the act of rubbing one's knuckles on another person's head. It can be very painful if much pressure is applied, but is often also a playful gesture of affection when done lightly. "Noogie" can also refer to the act of punching a person in the upper arm with the knuckle of the middle finger set slightly before those of the other fingers. Those who consider "noogie" to mean this generally call the action described above a "dutch rub". Just for being a smart arse, Buster, you're wife's going to hold you down, and I'm going to give you a dutch rub. And it's going to HURT.
• Don't mess with her, boys, or she'll escalate to purple nurples.
• Actually, Fes, so far it sounds like fun...
• Oh, this has to be violating some of those rules. Outstanding! Carry on.
• MonkeyFilter: She'll escalate to purple nurples.
• I need lots of personal space, but if you monkeys want to cuddle... I will give you all a hug then I got to back off..cause you see I need lots of personal space. Not fond of total strangers in my space...but you monkeys aren't all totally stange...right? :)
• strang=strange geesh I really need to be more careful with the preview thing.
• I believe touching is good, so hugs all around! *starts hugging closest monkeys ... hello, bratcat!*
• Another first person account
• I believe the progression with you upstart males goes from noogies, to Indian burns, to purple nurples, and finally, titty twisters. And believe me, NO ONE is going to enjoy it but me.
• Yeh jest be keepin' yer flailin' whathaveyehs away from me yeh-know pieces, if'n ye ken whut's gudferyeh.
• "Mother Nature’s whimsical way of giving us the thumbs-up!" is just bizarre. Who is the "us" in the sentence? [and penis/peonies,ha; the Mick Jagger induced maybe-date-rape more disturbing]