July 14, 2004

The Real Ultimate Power!!!11!uno!!1! Facts: 1. Ninjas are mammals. 2. Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people. Maybe that's why they're banned in Nebraska.

Yes, the second link is fake and full of runtime errors. But it's damn funny.

posted by middleclasstool 20 years ago
  • Miller states that the boys became "rambunctious and uncontrollable" and excited their family dog to jump up and bite their baby brother's lip. "I've never seen the dog act that way before," said Ms. Miller's sister, Bernice. "Me neither," added a neighbor. BWHAAAAAAAA HA!! great stuff.
  • Too many quotable lines! "The family, the home, and the work place are sacred places. REAL Ultimate Power respects none of these things." Fantastic stuff.
  • "'If I had more energy, I'd burn that young man's face," said (Mayor of Odessa) Reming.' With community leaders of this caliber, it is hard to see why the kiddies are going to hell in a handbasket. ???
  • Monkeyfilter: sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants
  • Ryu Hayabusa is not amused.
  • I think the hate mail section is larger than the rest of his site combined. Ninjas are obviously a sore spot for most.
  • sweet. And by sweet I mean totally awsome
  • Oh my god, you've got to watch some of the movies. I watched 'Ninjas Gone Wild.' Fucking hysterical.
  • Just yesterday, I saw a large group of kids chasing two adults, and it was no game they were playing. Chuckle. Mental pictures of fast foward motion clip of kids running after two adults, from left to right and then right to left, to the tune of the famous Benny Hill soundtrack of course...
  • As it was doing so, Miller states that the dog became "rambunctious and uncontrollable" and excited the boys to jump up and bite their baby brother's lip. "I've never seen the dog read a book before," said Ms. Miller's sister, Bernice.
  • See also this thread for more sweet ninja discussion. Or else I'll kick your mom right in the face. I'm also partial to Ninja Burger.
  • It's funny, but not true. URL is a student account at UCLA.
  • Yeah, that's in my [more inside].
  • Although the Real Ultimate Power dives into the pirate/ninja debate feet-first (with a sweet snap-kick), it doesn't take into account that there are shades of grey involved. For instance, pirate ninjas and ninjapirates. Of course, even then, most people like to pretend that there is only the pirate/ninja axis, thus completely ignoring super robot pirate ninjas! Rather than trying to divide ourselves through meaningless categorization, why can't we all just get along?
  • How ninja work. Also, there are no known historical examples of the straight-bladed "ninja-to". Probably most ninjas were special-forces samurai, so they used many of the same weapons. Shuriken (the spikes) and shaken (the stars, also known as hira shuriken) did exist and were used by samurai as well. IANAN, however. Arrr.
  • Great catch there, jim_t. And I completely missed the reference to Odessa being in "northern Nebraska". It's not. Something tells me somebody's UCLA roomie is from there, or sumpin'.
  • I'm amazed none of you have seen this before, especially if you read Metafilter. I first saw this 2-3 years ago. It's funny, yes, but quickly gets boring. And check out some of the other copy-sites, such as real ultimate pirates, real ultimate lawyers, real ultimate bums, and real ultimate Korean guys. (I'm serious, look for them)
  • I'm a proud owner of REAL Ultimate Power, the book. Now I flip over all the time and feel all pumped up (That's my best recommendation).
  • The best part of that site is the picture of his best friend, Mark.
  • My wife's aunt (a cop) shot some Cornhusker (footballer) in Nebraska. Evidently, he didn't have the Ninja training required to take out an officer trained in the art of firearms. This may relate to the banning of Ninja training in Nebraska. I should mention that the Cornhusker had subdued the aunt's partner and was going for the aunt's partner's gun.
  • Yeah, R.U.P. is about three or four years old at this point. I still get a giggle out of it every now and then, but that's because I'm 12. =)
  • Zemat: Do you flip over or flip out? Or "over and out?" Inquiring minds want to know. ;)
  • Yeah, I was a bit surprised that it hadn't been posted here either. Recent find for me, but I could tell that it's been up for a while. Oh, how I winced as I hit the "Post" button, even after searching 25 different ways...
  • *stops fliping over* *...consults The official Ninja Book* *...starts fliping out*
  • *...consults dictionary* *...starts flipping out*
  • *...starts flipping out* nonononono, NO! You are getting it all wrong! *...goes into a ninja rampage beheading unsuspecting individuals.*
  • If you do not desist, you will face... THE CARDBOARD TUBE SAMURAI!!!
  • I desist. I don't have the balls to confront The Famine-Of-Winter, that kills the babe at its Mother's empty breast.
  • That knee had to hurt. That ninja is going to need a doctor. And a lawyer.
  • "Seeing someone with something across the face, from a federal standpoint — that’s not right,” McLemore said, explaining why agents believed something to be amiss. Plenty of reason to pull your weapon and then kneel on the kid's neck after you've got him cuffed.
  • <8(O)