June 25, 2004

A naturally caffeine-free coffee plant has been found growing wild in Ethiopia. "This wild plant produces a naturally decaffeinated coffee bean. It's a product for those who don't like GM organisms and who like the taste of non-decaffeinated coffee," he said.
posted by Wolof 20 years ago
  • On reading the above, I suppose "he" would be the plant.
  • Decaffeination is an abomination.
  • Wolof, your original post neglected to mention that this is a talking naturally decaffeinated coffee plant. surlyboi can hardly scoff at that, now can he??
  • Time to get out the Roundup™.
  • I can scoff at anything. I was a competitive scoffer in high school and college. Almost made the olympics until... the accident.
  • surly, its ok!! we know you don't like to talk about it...
  • John is right. Kill it! Burn the area in which it was found! Salt the earth!
  • Caffeine is the only thing that keeps me running. Well, that and beer. Im sure the next thing will be a non-alcoholic porter made with carob and decaf made from cannabis instead of hops, but with the males so it wont get you stoned. What a terrible world science has made. Things were so much easier when we were all jungle monsters, but NOOOOOO that wasnt good enough for us, we needed clothes and cars and decaffenated booze-free weed beer that gets you fat without the fun. WHEN WILL IT END!?!?!
  • What the hell is the definition of a coffee bean? Isn't it sort of an essential element of the definition? It is obviously something other than coffee. "Scientists have just discovered the first two-eyed Cyclops."
  • lkc: We didn't have coffee when we lived in the jungle.
  • Uncaffeinated coffee is as unnatural as an unlubricated judge.
  • More brown sludge In my cup. Wot use is coffee That can't wake you up?
  • In record time, coffee aficionados have fashioned a new twist on this plant. A mammal called a kimat, or corrupt Ethiopian official, eats ripe coffee beans and excretes the seeds. The new drink is already trendy in Monterey and Sonoma County.
  • In record time, some cat poohed in my cup.
  • Nostrildamus to the rescue! I know a way to solve this! Free amphetamines for everyone! YAY
  • It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, It is by the beans of Java the thoughs acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.