June 11, 2004
Smoking out the yobs?
The UK Guardian's reporting that Portuguese police are going to crack down on drunken English football fans at Euro 2004 ... but they're going to ignore those who're publicly smoking dope ...
The idea being that a stoned football fan is much less likely to cause trouble than a drunk one ... It worked 4 years ago in Holland apparently.
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Well, that's a fair argument, as far as crowd control goes. Stoners are nearly always easier to deal with than drunks (I've had to wrangle both, as has everyone who's ever been to college). Just give the guy a Dr. Pepper and ask him what you were just talking about, and he'll lapse into a state of bewildered, bovine submission. I hope this doesn't apply to those smoking and driving, though.
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I have to tip my hat to Portugal for acting on some common sense.
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Somebody blazed out of their tree usually just needs a tasty muffin or something to munch on. That does the trick. ("middleclasstool" knows the score.) Drunkards, though, generally need to be beaten into submission. Good work Portugal. Everyone knows you're the hippest part of Iberia!