June 03, 2004

Goths don't need saving; who knew? Small town grants money to counter the goth problem, grant is returned when they discover there's no actual problem. [Via neilgaiman.com]
posted by tracicle 20 years ago
  • No problem!?! Dammit, goths are dangerous. Goths once overran Asia Minor, much of the Balkans, slew Emperor Valens and a huge Roman army at Adrianople in 378, and finally sacked Rome in 410. They must be stopped!
  • Oh, how fucked up our little town is. This is, in fact where I live and my daughter and her friends are a few of the notorious and dreaded "goths". Of course they all (for the most part) have straight A's or nearly so and are (for the most part) really, really nice kids. We do have about 890 churches here in our suburban hell, but I'm sure that didn't have anything to do with...wait a minute....yes it did.. The moron lady that was running this program came straight from the First Baptist Church, a fire breathing holy roller. Cripes, they need to look in their own fucking backyards. Idiots.
  • "It never happened because referring someone for looking, acting Goth is not a concept that ever got imbedded in people's minds," Ford said. Which sounds like it was said in a tone of regret. "You have to admit if you saw one, two, three, four or more people dressed in traditional Goth, it would be discerning," Ford said. What does this sentence mean? Does she mean disconcerting? But Johnson and Ford are pleased Blue Springs received the money... Yeah, I think I might be pleased if I got paid large amounts of money to... er... do something a bit vague and patronising that turns out to be nothing at all. Goths: they're actually more scared of you than you are of them. (All of which makes me ponder - does anybody know what happened in that NJ town, Brick, which banned standing still in public 'without a legitimate purpose'?)
  • I remember when i was at school and the teachers cracked down on all of us who wore 'heavy metal' shirts, because we were all part of a cult. So, it was ok to think Bros. were actually musicians of worth, to wear multinational corporation logos plastered all of over your clothing and inflict happy pants upon your classmates...but an Anthrax or AC/DC t-shirt, now that was plain *evil*.
  • Stupid, sexy goths. The way they...hang out and talk and drink coffee and go to movies and listen to music. They must be stopped before they kill again. ...You have to admit if you saw one, two, three, four or more people dressed in traditional Goth, it would be discerning... You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. /Montoya
  • Difference must be purged. Conformity must be maintainted. Exterminate. Exterminate!
  • So what are the groups that have to be watched out for?
  • Who? The Jews! The Jews!
  • Hipsters.
  • So what are the groups that have to be watched out for? Metrosexuals.
  • I'm watching out for you people. But I don't have a grant or nothing, I do it just because.
  • You've got to warn everyone and tell them! You've got to tell them! Goths is people!
  • flashboy: Your final statement being correct, thus leads us to extrapolate-- MonkeyFilter: they're actually more scared of you than you are of them
  • Monkeys are the new terrorists.
  • They should have hired me instead. I woulda wiped all them goths out: UV lights in the bedrooms, ban clove cigarettes, transfer one school elective or job training course in a modified home ec where they have to mend their fishnet stockings, and one weekend of intensive EST and experiment subliminal treatments to induce vomiting at the sound of robert smiths voice. The rest of the money would be embezzled, and spent foolishly.
  • The Gothipsteraver is endangered, due to overhunting and low birth rates. Clearly a grant is needed to encourage population growth. I know the perfect person to be the project coordinator.
  • *raises hand slowly lkc, wouldn't just turning on a couple hunnert watt bulbs in the bedroom work? aren't fishnet stockings supposed to have holes? no consulting fee required
  • Bluehorse - UV bulbs would actually give them the effect of having been outside during the day. And, it's the holes among the holes that ick would like to mend. The fishnet holes are ok, but when they creep from calf to ankle, they just look... Well, not as cool as the Goths would like to believe.
  • "Goths are like masons," I have been told. "They're everywhere." The theological implications are staggering...in D minor.
  • Which I find is the saddest of awl keys, really . . it just makes people weep instantly . . .
  • oh my goth!
  • Where? *looks around quickly*