May 20, 2004

Hassle the Hoff - "Rap legend Ice-T is risking his massive reputation on his latest recruit - middle-aged former beach bum David Hasselhoff.The original gangsta believes he can turn the ex-Baywatch star into hip hop’s next big thing.Ice and Hasselhoff, 51, are neighbours in Los Angeles and have struck up a close friendship." Someone please tell me it's not a joke. Because that would be awesome. [/W. Hung afficianado]
posted by Kimberly 20 years ago
  • i hear hasselhoff is HUGE overseas. monkeys? true?
  • From what I understand Bay Watch is a phenomenon of almost unbelievable proportions in most of the non-usa world. HUGE!! megamassivehuge. so it stands to reason that hasslehoff himself is hugely popular as well, no?
  • Just Germany, I'm afraid. Or maybe I'm glad.
  • So very very scary. Isn't this one of the signs of the apocalypse? somebody hold me, I'm afraid.
  • *hugs surlyboi*
  • Not with a bang but with a *whimper*.
  • I can't decide what I am more disturbed by, Hassle the Hoff, or that Ice-T will be resposible. He is on the list of celebrities that should just GO AWAY!
  • I cannot escape the feeling that this thread and the previous one are somehow related. Though I never did get German humour, so I cannot be sure.
  • Still in all, it could be worse. When I first saw it, I misread Ice T as "Vanilla Ice". Don't ask how, just understand that my head almost exploded at the prospect.
  • Hassel tha Hoff known to check it while you hopin' to wreck it / my style's makin' you bounce like Pam in the opening credits / with a chrome and tekk kid, cats round the globe heard of me / a laughing stock back home, the Hoff be a legend in Germany / /wu tang surrenders
  • How dare you philistine scum cast aspersions against
  • pyrrthon1: According to the first review, this will be a posthumous album, as David has joined the air-crash museum. Not that I followed the link or read any of the reviews.
  • uppa chukka!
  • Oh, and thanks for the hug, SK. I needed that...
  • "We kicked ass in Belgium!"
  • I hope they remix "Hot Shot City." That would be particularly good.
  • So stupid its cool...I like stupid things, and would much rather see david hasselhoff rapping than see another goddamn reality show. Everybody knows that americans go to 'saved by the bell', finish up at 90210, work at baywatch and live in friends. Thats why everyone likes us. We export our wonderful culture.
  • So, these Germans, they don't know what sex is, they have no sense of humour, and they worship the Hasselhoff?
  • All of this proves one thing. That Germans *love* David Hasselhoff.
  • Ice-T has lost his tiny little mind. I remember when he was intelligent and insightful. Check out his book "The Ice Opinion".
  • Norm Macdonald surrenders
  • There is a factual error in this article, it states "Rap legend Ice-T is risking his massive reputation on his latest recruit..." Ice-T actually lost his massive reputation some time between 1991-1992.
  • One of my college friends studied in Vienna for a few months, and the 84-year old lady she stayed with was a huge David Hasselhoff fan. He had some sort of singing or variety program aired there, in addition to all of the Baywatch nonsense.
  • You sick bunch of perverted fucks. You're cancerous with jealously - gorging yourselves on the hard black cheese of spite, while you guzzle frothy liquid hate that smells like pee. Two of the world's greatest entertainers come together to create musical history - to try to do what they can to heal the world - and all you can do is mock, mock, mock, like tiny little children who mock other children. Children who are even tinier than they are. Where will this cycle of hate end? Will there be microscopic children running around mocking ants? Well? WILL THERE??? Just tell me what the fuck you people have got against the Ice man and the Hoff? Huh? When was the last time you produced a show about women with big tits running around on a beach? When did any of you last talk to a black TransAm while catching criminals and supporting a ridiculous bouffant? When was the last time you brought down the Berlin wall? Huh? You make me want to poo hot shards of glass with poison on them and rub my face in it until I die and rot and stink like a dead person who is rotting. I hate you.
  • Wow. Um. Just wow. Someone get that kid a 'nana.
  • Whoa, quidnunc, get some therapy, will ya? Perhaps locked down with those old tapes and videos is counterproductive for you.
  • What quidnunc said.
  • *slips prozac into quidnunc's cockpunch*
  • MonkeyFilter: You make me want to poo hot shards of glass with poison on them and rub my face in it until I die and rot and stink like a dead person who is rotting.
  • Like Jerry Lewis, David Hasselhoff is a multidimensional genius unappreciated at home. I dream of the day that he appears in Richard III.
  • I heart you, quid. And I have a feeling that's not the first time I've said so.
  • David Hasslehoff never really existed.
  • quid - we hate you exactly to the degree, and in the same way you hate us. Can you come over for dinner on Sunday? I'm making something really special, just for you.
  • I totally agree with the quidnunc kid.
  • I would like to subscribe to Hasselhoff's newsletter. Where do I click?
  • Quid, that's fucking genius.
  • You make me want to poo hot shards of glass with poison on them and rub my face in it until I die and rot and stink like a dead person who is rotting. and stinking!
  • Actually I was just really fucking bored at work and trolling: I don't even know who this Hasselhoff guy is. Sorry :( *swigs more booze*