May 17, 2004

• and, yes, that is indeed a beauty mark to the left. heh. (thanks, iggy!)
• I was expecting less tat and more ass. Does this make me a bad person?
• The scanner broke when I sat on it :(
• yes the_bone, it does! But it makes me a bad person too. Sorry kids, I got no asstat. I do have a couple and when my brand-spankin'-new camera gets here this week I might share. If anyone else is in need of a place to host a picture just let me know. Send an email to kellie (at) albuqueerque (dot) com with the subject TAT! and I'll serve it up and send you the link.
• isn't iggy just the most delicious ignorant slut you've ever known?
• I don't have a tattoo. Can I show you all my third nipple instead?
• OK, monkeys, if i'm the only one to post a tatt i'm gonna feel really silly...
• Don't feel silly. After all, your tat has been discussed for a long, long time. discovered this gem in an old thread I was perusing for unrelated reasons. really. no restraining orders are necessary.
• gyp.
• Here's a picture of a bass hat.
• c'mon monkeys! show them tats!
• I have no tats. But I do have hats. And a couple of cats. And two bath mats.
• SideDish, I salute you. You've got big eggs. /leaves to scoop some cat-scat
• Okay, listen I have no tats. But I am willing to show my ass. So here's an attention whore pic of the author with a mohawk. Things are much better since the prescription was refilled. I drink black currant tango. Come and get me.
• I don't have tats, bats, cats, fat, hats, mats, oats, rats, or the state of Qatar. Actually, I have one hat, I just don't wear it a lot.
• I will not show you my ass tat, I will not let you wear my hat, Nor will you touch my cat or rat, But you can clean up where they shat. And if I tell my tonnage stat, I hope you don't think I'm too fat. I will not answer any wish, I will not do it, Side You Dish.
• I have plenty of hats, but no tats...that's my brother's specialty (at least 10 elaborate ones). Hmm, must work on getting some picks online.
• An ass with tats
• 2500 is an auspicious post number, and it couldn't better populated than with ass-tattoos.
• BBF Beware his magic kingdom!
• 2500 is a number less auspicious than suspicious. Or ass-piscious. Oh, and Wendall wins.
• I have no tats. I do, however, have arms bigger than the average man's neck, and thighs bigger than many womens' waists. Does that count on the freak scale?
• Forks - hard to believe you got there on tofu. I've always pictured you as wispier. And, rogerd, how about a picture, since you buffed guys are sharing. Doesn't have to be yours, but it's how we'll think about you.
• I'm 50 yo. I don't have a tattoo. I've never wanted a tattoo. I was 30 before I got my ears pierced. Where/When I grew up, rednecks and jail birds had tats. I have two daughters with tattoos, one of which is nicely done IMO. Nevertheless, deep down, I have this lingering feeling that tattoos are kinda gross and lower class. That said IF I had a tattoo, this is what it would look like--in black, on my lower back, extending down onto my ass. Cool, eh? Now, if I weren't such a chicken-shit, puritanical, stick-up-the-ass type woman....
• So Path, you're surprised I have a neck, but not that I'm clearly having a stroke? Watch out for the left hand, ya'll!
• oh damn, now i've got to get my darlin' to take a picture of my ass and he's lousy with my camera. i'll be getting right at that. ignorant slut...you can really post it? must find some eyemake-up to enhance colours. perhaps some subtle shading effects... bluehorse, i like your chosen tat! but it needs some professional shading rather than just the crisp outline to make it more dramatic in it'd artistic dermal presentation.
• dxlifer - I'm at your posting disposal.
• forks! you're crazy! great picture, and i do have to say (like Path), i pictured you as a scrawny little guy... clearly i am wrong and you are buff!
• I think this calls for Monkeyfilter cage battles. ROUND 1 Forksclovetofu vs. Rodgerd
• path: Hmm. I think that falls into my "shy/Kiwi reticence" bucket. Oh, all right. With bonus CD for scale.
• Oh, and unlike forks, I still have a neck. I'm not that big, which rules out the cage fight. Unless he's 5'2".
• I dunno, he looks about 3'6" to me. If only his head was a bit flatter ... (glad you back, forks)
• OH MY GOD i want to have rogerd's babies! no, wait, i want to have rogerd's bicep's babies! so here we have one tatt posted, and one (quite awesome!) mohawk and one lucious bicep. come on, people, WORK WITH ME HERE!!! more body parts!!!
• why thank you. Incidentally, that's not my natural neck and I'm much more "tight" than "buff". If that. Maybe I should post a different picture. Rodgerd. Dude. Nice guns. Let's go do deadlifts.
• I'll post both of my tatts, if I can just get my hands on a damn digital camera... *hangs head in lo-tech shame*
• no tats, and my dog ate the bath mats. I got poison ivy tho, it's tat-like . . .
• No tats, ass or otherwise, but this is what my hair *used* to look like, when I was a young Byronic hero in the thick of my salad days, ca. 1986. That drink in front of me was *supposed* to be opaque. And I'd had several before that particular one.
• darn, my first attempt didn't work very well....back later with a link, courtesy of ignorantslut....a most wonderful person, i must add.
• Geez I just stepped out for a road trip to see my pals upstate for a coupla days and when I get back ALL HELL has broken loose! LOVE IT.
• A thread on tats that I didn't see? How did this happen? And only one tat pic to show for it? This just can't be...Tho the mohawk and bicep were definitely amazing. I have no pix of my tats as of yet but that could change...how many bananas do I get if I post all four?
• Big up da byronesque fops! I don't need to beat you up, when I can just write a really mean poem about you.
• Byronesque fops rule gonna fuck you up big time, fo' real. As will 'vampiric Oscar Wilde' figures, as was mentioned here... something I clearly paid too much attention to last Halloween... I don't normally have a lazy eye, as far as I'm aware... I blame the cocktails...
• Remember, when you look into forks' nose, forks' nose also looks into you. No ink here. My chopper-chick sister has two, so she's inked for both of us. Dana, do share. Pretty please.
• That's, like, a million miles away from my mental image of you Fes. The sound you hear is a tiny part of my head exploding.
• I second rodgerd. The same goes for flashboy. I posted a picture of myself ages ago, and I also have no tattoos although I dream about the day I get one. So, no photos from me.
• C'mon, what did you think I looked like, this?
• that's FesTER to you Mister.
• That pretty much sums up my mental impression of Fester, IgSlut.
• Naw. More Charlie Sheen/Michael Douglas circa Wall Street 8).
• I always though Fes would look kind of like Mitch Pileggi from the X-Files. I have no idea why.
• Does no one have tattoos? Or tattoos and a camera? :D OK, I've got both, but the photo quality is a little lacking (think cheap web cam). Good thing the tattoo isn't all that much to look at either. LOL! So here you have ... Orb's tattoo.
• No tats, no CD sized bikes and I don't look like Uncle Fester. sorry
• i had the old man take pics of my tats today, but i'll have to develop the film. the scanner trick doesn't work very well. for those true tat aficionados , in toronto there is 'urban primitive', tattooist to such as cher and mark morford as well as many hollywood credits. the website is in a bit a arrears right now but one can see a master's work, here. mind you he books appointments months and years ahead of time. i plan to go there for my next touch-up job.
• Orb that's a nice one! Me likey...
• Alright monkeys, here we go. First one, my favoriate, my baby, my ankh. Then there's the dolphin. Came out a little fuzzy but you get the idea. That's on my thigh just so's ya know... And my two creepy and/or funny ones. The eye on the back of my neck and the well-positioned kitty on my lower stomach that provides me with endless punch/pick-up lines and always makes for good conversation...
• OUCH Dana! Didn't that HURT on the back of your neck? (I was SO hoping your ankh would be on your ankhle)
• I think I have a little crush on danapiper - I love a girl who wears tattoos so well.
• Thanks, danapiper. I designed it myself. Love yours, especially the kitty ... too cute and what a great location for it!
• Pete - I think a picture of your poison ivy would be very welcome. And forks - I thought you must have been tricked into eating a raw oyster.
• dana, an ankh will be the first tattoo I get. Followed by a little skull and crossbones (cute little cartoon-style ones) in honour of my dream career (skeletal biology, not pirating, although that would rock).
• dana, I really love that kitty cat! Looks like it's gonna fall off any minute *grin* Does the R just to the right of the eye tattoo mean anything significant? Enquiring monkeys need to know!
• It means her master vampire is of the Riknok clan. Didn't you watch Blade?
• Haha, ok. Wow, so, answers... No the back-of-the-neck one didn't hurt at all. I was surprised. The worst was when i got the ankh touched-up - they had me bent over a chair to stretch the skin out and I was whimpering and well, just picture it...an amusing scene for those watching... IgSlut - you're too damn sweet! But you shoulda seen the last girl I dated...13 tats to my 4. I felt so unworthy! The "R" is actually a *cue seriously creepy music* Scandinavian Bind Rune. It's four (and a fifth accidentally) symbols in one. The reader's digest version is: it means strength, creativity, journey, and joy...I can't remember the fifth right now. Something to do with water and ice. For more curious monkeys check here (fun fact - the owner of that site has the tat to match. Send her an email, freak her out...)
• Ah dana, it's not about the number of tattoos - it's how ya wear 'em.
• here's mine
• and dirtdirt WINNNNNNS the prize!
• Wait - there were prizes??!?
• there better have been prizes, or else i spent 6 hours in agony and $750 for a tattoo that i didn't particularly want (nice though it may be)...
• I think we have a new favicon.ico!
• Monkeyfilter: There better have been prizes.
• I wish I'd have known there were prizes. Oh well
• whoah!
• waraw-wow! Yo' one tough dude.
• Don't get too excited, the pictograph is the Mandarin symbol for "butter."
• waraw, crikey, that's one impressive ink job. *applauds wildly*
• I hope not, Fes, it's supposed to be "Root."
• It is waraw - 根 gen1 does indeed mean 'root'.
• I, of course, was just kidding around. and my Mandarin is terrible!
• Whatever folks say, getting a tat around the neck and breastbone is one of the most painful areas. And that tat has a lot of fine black lines to create that detailed effect. So, yep! One tough dude. /or TFN.

• skeletal biology

  Would that help put my arm back together? *whimpers*
• ink on the flanks hurts like a mofo. but a banana got me through!
• here's mine.
• Why can't I see Waraw? It keeps saying that the link doesn't exist. . *whimpers right along with rodgerd, if for slightly different reasons* nice medicine wheel goddam! Or, Goddam! Nice medicine wheel!
• Better?
• Much!! Very cool, thank you. Nice ink.
• goddam, I like your Ourobourus. That's unique.
• Okay. The picture of my ass tat has vanished into the mists of cyberspace, rats. So here is my left leg, top and bottom although, as I mentioned on flickr, these are horrible terrible heinous photographs that make my leg look all blotchy and bitten and just generally gross. The image, FWIW, is a 17th c. Dutch botanical illustration from the tulip bubble years.
• Nice work! Looks detailed. Creating detail or the illusion of detail is a real skill.
• dxlifer & mygothlaundry, thanks. i never knew the millennium symbol was called an Ourobourus. i actually took it from the cover (and content) of this book. except i used the navajo monster slayer instead of the rainbow goddess. and took some liberties with color. the top bit is the outer ring of a tibetan mandala, the mountain of fire. the guy that inked it had a tat very similar to the one that waraw has, except the knot was on his back and he had a sun-like design on the loop on his chest.
• Now you have a whole new concept off symbolism for your tat, goddam. The worm has a long history. mygothlaundry's tat is lovely. I'm in the middle of having mine redone to make it look more presentable. Since I'm deciding what to do one step at a time it is a jumble right now and I need to get more work done to bring it all together. I always seem to find some more productive use for the money, though, and this serves to remind me to put some aside for another hour with the fellow.
• My first tattoos were done yesterday. I've thrown the I Ching each year on my birthday for the past three years, and I had the hexagrams (and related Chinese ideograms, pulled from the Wilhelm/Baynes translation of the I Ching) tattooed on my right calf. I'll add a new one each year. Full leg, close-up. Each element is roughly the size of a penny.
• that's really nice work, the_bone! an excellent idea.
• Excellent stuff bone! Lookin' great.
• 1) 49 2) 30 3) 4 4) ?????
• I wanna get a tattoo of a butt, with a butt-shaped tattoo on it, and I want to get it right on my butt.
• Wolof, that's his locker combination. Nice detail.
• Wolof: Exactly, good eye! I've only got the three so far, since I just started this tradition three birthdays ago. Now that I've "caught up" as it were, I'll add a new one shortly after my birthday each year. Expect to see 4) in late January '06.
• Cool, the_bone! I'm thinking of getting a version of Athena's owl and the date in Roman numerals when I get my Ph.D. next month. (I'm not getting the tat yet because I don't want to jinx it!) I wanted some sort of wisdom symbol, and Athena resonates more to me than other symbols I saw... (I admit that adding the Roman numerals would be mixing my metaphors a bit. I'd have to think that through.) Ideally, the owl would look something like this.
• A quick Google search shows that Minerva's symbol is also the owl, so the combination of the owl and the Roman numerals wouldn't be too incongruent, Minerva being the Roman analogue of Athena. Just tell people"Minerva" instead of "Athena" when they ask about the tattoo and you're golden. Alternately you can figure out how to write the date in ancient Greek, although you may have to explain it to people.
• The ancient Greek acrophonic and later alphabetic, symbols. Nobody would know what they meant, of course.
• Cool tat, the_bone! May I take this opportunity to show off my own shapely gam. (side views) I designed it myself! The tat, not the gam.
• NIce gam, Koko! that's some fine ink.
• Agreed. That's some tight work!
• Thankie! The tiny feet were the most painful spot (kitty dug her claws in good). For some reason, tight curves cause the most pain, not massive fill-ins as one would expect.
• wow, tatt kudos to you both. gorgeous inks!
• Here's mine Since this picture was taken I added a little bit of hi-light color to the tree, and some final shading closer to the sternum. I'm planning another one of an ox and dog walking together (my wife was born year of the ox and me the dog)
• That's frickin' gorgeous.
• Incredible, Zanshin.
• Not sure if this technically counts as a tatt, but it was more painful than getting one! It's called kerokan in Indonesia; a traditional method for healing a variety of ailments. My mother-in-law does this with great gusto (this was last night btw, I'm already getting cackles from co-workers, wondering why I have massive "love bites" on my neck). The pain is intense, but feels quite refreshing afterwards. It does seem to work (though it's probably due in part to the release of endorphins as a result of the pain). And I wanted to give this thread a bump. It's been over a year, surely there are some new monkeys out there with some great tatts to share??
• "Why are you hitting yourself with that hammer?" Youch.
• OW
• Maybe not great - but almost 15 years old now.
• Now is that a real ass tatt, or is that like a Sears ass tatt? /FZ
• I should have mentioned that is a shoulder tatt - not an arse one.
• the very long overdue pictures of my 2 tattoos /lights candle for Sidedish
• Ooh nice ones Medusa! Just what kind of candle are you going to light? Thanks for the clarification gomichild, you know, because, uh, that did look a bit suspicious...
• Medusa's tattoos are not snakes! So, in this thread there have been how many actual ass tats? One or two? And noone has a pair of W's (or M's), like in the old joke. In general, I approve.
• That's quite an ass tat (NSFW).
• Thanks for the clarification gomichild, you know, because, uh, that did look a bit suspicious... Yeah sorry about that. I couldn't be arsed to explain at the time... *nudges MoFi with her elbow, winking*
• I keep thinking it says "ass fat."
• Have any of you be-inked folks come to regret your adornment?
• No. But I do regret the veins that are becoming visible just above it.
• Koko: Consider it a challenge to incorporate the veins into the overall background art. :[
• No, no regrets! [/edith piaf]
• I necromance this thread in the name of polling! Many of you know I have a son on the way. I am determined to indulge in the utterly gauche practice of supplementing my body ink with a few more strokes to commemorate his birth. And I would like some suggestions as to what might make a good emblem. Some ideas already suggested, in the interest of priming the pump: A close friend recommended a tattoo of the kid's first footprint. I am a fan of this idea, but I'm not yet convinced it's the best idea. We're going to call him Jack, so my wife and I batted a few name-related ideas back and forth, like a Jack O' Lantern or a Jack-in-the-box, also appealing. I would not be so foolish as to presume there will be no jokey answers to follow this comment, but dammit if I wouldn't like some straight-up suggestions from fans of body ink. Limiting factors: black ink only (I'm all about the monochrome), and the simpler/more abstract the design, the better. As an illustration, my tatts are an abstract one-line drawing of a cat (to commemorate my wedding, and actually inked on my wedding day) and the alchemical symbol for platinum (a family-related thing, as I've had a steady string of jewelers in my family going back to the late 19th century). And do I really need to say no goddamn Kanji symbols? I have thought of matching kittens to go with the cat, but I'd prefer something distinct. Thoughts?
• How about his birth date in fancy numbers? Googling for JACK brings up the following: Gender: Masculine Usage: English Pronounced: JAK [key] Derived from Jackin (earlier Jankin), a medieval pet form of JOHN. Meaning: God is gracious. Though originally a nickname for John, Jack is frequently given as a stand-alone name today. In the UK, Jack has been the most popular name for baby boys for at least the last five years running (2002-6). In cards, a jack is the lowest-ranking of the face cards. Famous folkloric bearers of this name include Jack Be Nimble and Jack Spratt, of nursery rhyme fame, as well as Jack and the Beanstalk. Sooooo, doubt if that helps much, but maybe a Jack of Hearts or a bean stalk winding around your other tat? Tattoo PATIENCE over your heart--Lordy knows parents always never have enough. How 'bout calling the sprout Jankin or Jackin when you're being silly? And whatever you do, tell/show us what you get done.
• -Your surname crest, with his given name in Latin scrolled underneath ("Ioannes") -a single ball-and-jacks jack -an image of YOUR father -a small, dark cateye, a representation of your unseen guardian's eye that will watch over him the rest of your life -in script: "“We think our Fathers Fools, so wise we grow; Our Wiser Sons, no doubt, will think us so." That'd be by Alexander Pope, a man for whom the moon itself bent in respect. -An ouroboros, the unbroken circle
• I would go with a simple birthdate. That way, you can never forget. Or, the standard heart tattoo with "Mother" underneath, and that crossed out and replaced with "Son". Nobody gets classic tattoos anymore. If I ever started up, anchors on the forearms. It's the only way...
• How about an iris flower? A beautiful image that's easy to adapt to wherever you want your tat located, with lots of good and positive meanings depending on which culture you consult -- the three petals representing you, hillbillyswamp and littleclasstool, which can also signify hope, wisdom and valour, or the Trinity, or heroism, or the symbol of communication and the rainbow, or divine protection, or life. Pretty pictures.
• How 'bout some tattooed perineum stitches?
• Now there's an ass tatt!
• Four good comments already, and the list is being compiled. Keep 'em coming!
• Must preview those last two ouchie comments first :O
• Friend of mine on exchange wanted to get Playboy mud flaps on her ass.
• I've often thought of doing this too (though, not to supplement any existing ink, as my only tatt was self-administered on my ankle). I came up with a very simple design, using my son's initials - they're exaggerated in a way so they don't appear as initials upon first glimpse. When you take a closer look, however, they're clear as day. I have yet to implement this tatt design, but my drawing on post-it-note has been hanging from my computer monitor for months now - - hopefully to remind me when the opportunity presents itself. I'm fond of the footprint idea myself. Not only does it mark a moment in time, but it is also symbolic of the mark that children leave on parents, the steps a child will take throughout life, etc. Not to mention, if I was a kid, I would love to compare my foot to my footprint on daddy!
• Huh-huh...you said "Jack-in-the-box"...hunh-hunh...
• I suppose a simplistic playing card with a Jack of Hearts is still kind of complex for what you're looking for?
• A bit, yeah. Plus it would require color to be properly done (a black heart on the card is not an image I think I'd want to carry forever, for obvious symbolic reasons), and as I said, it must be black ink only. Fes's ouroboros idea is an interesting one the more I think about it-- I could then link another one to it for the next kid (we're shooting for two at least), and perhaps put sort of emblem in the center. I'm mostly of German descent, so I also thought of some kind of old Norse mythological symbol or some such, but google tells me those have pretty much all been co-opted by neo-nazis.
• My favorite suggestions so far are the footprint and the ball-and-jack jack. All I've got by way of a semijokey suggestion is a stylized drawing of a sperm meeting an egg.
• hillbillyswamp's in favor of the footprint too, especially after smt's comment above. She thinks the ouroboros is a touch too D&D for her taste, though I haven't ruled it out yet.
• Have her make a Will save at -2.
• And: no love for Alexander Pope?? You bastidges!
• Big ups to The One True Pope, but quotin' be too long and don't fit with the aesthetic I've got going here. *impressive deltoid flexing*
• sample look at footprints on neck When I googled on 'birth tattoo', I found an interesting (full color) fetus with its umbilical cord becoming the wire to a pair of headphones. How about an egg? There's always an astrological birth sign (rams, bulls, fish can have cool designs) The following are the flower birth symbols--Even though they don't seem very 'boyish' one could be nice if stylized. January - Carnation, Snowdrop February - Violet, Primrose March - Daffodil, Jonquil April - Daylily, Sweet Pea May - Lily of the Valley, Hawthorn June - Rose, Honeysuckle July - Larkspur, Water Lily August - Gladiolas, Poppy September - Aster, Morning Glory October - Calendula, Cosmos November - Chrysanthemum December - Narcissus, Holly I suppose you could always meditate on it in some favorite place or wait till your son is old enough to take him out to the woods and wait for his birth totem to show itself. Just don't let the dingos eat the baby
• Celtic symbols: Date of Birth: December 24 – January 20 Animal: Stag Gaelic Name: Damh (Approximate pronunciation: Dav) Date of Birth: January 21 – February 17 Animal: Crane Gaelic Name: Corr (Approximate pronunciation: Corr) Date of Birth: February 18 – March 17 Animal: Seal Gaelic Name: Ron (Approximate pronunciation: Ron) Date of Birth: March 18 – April 14 Animal: Bear Gaelic Name: Art (Approximate pronunciation: A as in cat, R as in English, T as in English Chin. AiRCH) Date of Birth: April 15 – May 12 Animal: Adder Gaelic Name: Nathair (Approximate pronunciation: na-CHair. N, a in cat, T as in Chin, h – silent, air.) Date of Birth: May 13 – June 9 Animal: Bee Gaelic Name: Beách (Approximate pronunciation: beh-ach. B, E as in get, A as in cat, CH as in German iCH.) Date of Birth: June 10 – July 7 Animal: Otter Gaelic Name: Dobhran (Approximate pronunciation: dav-rhan.) Date of Birth: July 8 – August 4 Animal: Cat Gaelic Name: Kati (Approximate pronunciation: ka-Chi.) Date of Birth: August 5 – September 1 Animal: Salmon Gaelic Name: Bradan (Approximate pronunciation: bra-TAN.) Date of Birth: September 2 – September 29 Animal: Swan Gaelic Name: Eala (Approximate pronunciation: ellah.) Date of Birth: September 30 – October 27 Animal: Goose Gaelic Name: Geadh (Approximate pronunciation: Gia-gh.) Date of Birth: October 28 – November 24 Animal: Owl Gaelic Name: Cailleach-oidhche (Approximate pronunciation: Kall-eeck Oheeche.) Date of Birth: November 25 – December 23 Animal: Raven Gaelic Name: Bran (Approximate pronunciation: Bran.) 2007 Year of the Boar, 2008 Year of the Rat Sorry, meant to say that within traditional Christian symbols, eggs are the symbol of birth as well as stars. Birds are a symbol of the soul. Morning Glory vine symbolizes new life. A rock indicates steadfastness and stability. Asian symbolism indicates lotus is birth/rebirth. mandalas and water is also birth in Eastern religions. This page has nice black & white Om symbols. Om is Here. I don't know what it is, but you can compute your Sabian symbol: here.
• Heh, interestingly, Jack's birthday falls smack in the middle of cat territory, and that's what I chose for my wedding day. The fact that no Celtic blood flows through my veins does not diminish the fact that there are COSMIC FORCES AT WORK HERE, THE FULL KNOWLEDGE OF WHICH WOULD TURN A MAN'S BLOOD TO RUNNY CHEEEEEEESE!!!! Sorry, Venture Bros. Season 2 DVD just came through Netflix. I've been channelling Dr. Orpheus ever since. Do not be too hasty entering that room. I HAD TACO BELLLLLLLLL FOR LUNCH!!!
• What about a kitty foot print in the same design as the cat - maybe with a little date?
• that is a fantastic idea gomi!
• Well, obviously the fates are demanding you do the sensibe thing and get a Hello Kitty tattoo.
• How about a tiny handprint, or an abstraction of the sonogram?
• Nice to see you around this neck of the ass tatt thread, Koko!
• Dang if my sprog dint go and get inked, after being denied permission. Why ask, then? *grumble*
• Took you a month to make a suggestion, stinky? Way to be on the ball there, Pigpen!
• Thank you!
• NOT LIKE THERE'S ANY REASON TO RUSH. Sigh.
• *remembers glaring at own tumescent belly and roaring "Get Out, Damnit!"*
• Heh. Mine was the other way around - Abigail was three weeks early (I think her due date was miscalculated). I got off work on Friday, and on Saturday at 12:35 p.m. my water broke. I was seriously pissed, for two reasons: I didn't get any pre-baby maternity leave, and my doctor had said Friday morning he was sure we had another week, then left for a week-long vacation in Paris. The real irony there is that he hadn't taken a vacation in over a decade.
• hillbillyswamp, maybe other monkeymoms can give you tips for getting that kid outta there. Maybe you could tell him he's grounded for the first 5 years of his life if he doesn't get out now! All kidding aside, I'm sending good baby-get-born-already thoughts your way.
• Mexican food. The spicier, the better.
• Y'all might oughtta try that thar budgie jumpin'.
• 17 miles of bad gravel road Worked to turn a potential breech birth into a normal presentation, brought the little bugger a week early.
• Sex will get him out. Lots and lots of sex. That's how you wanted me to say it, right mct? Now pay up.
• But seriously...sex will do it (if you achieve orgasm).
• Yeah. He can barely keep his hands off me, I'm so sexy right now. Thanks, y'all (except Minda, who I kind of hate right now, no offense). He technically still has 31.5 hours before he's late, but you know, it's not like he has the intarwebs in there to procrastinate with, so why the hell he just doesn't come on out here where there are boobs and video games, I don't understand.
• Boobs? and... video games...? Oh. My. *weeps*
• He doesn't need them when he's got... ...an XBOX!!11! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
• I meant that in a "it's no better the other way around" way, not in an "in your face!" way. But I probably could have picked a better time to say it... like after he was born. /is very sorry, and hopes the little squire puts in an immediate appearance
• Oh, I know, minda ... I'll get over it as soon as he's here. :)
• good luck! mrs roryk ate lots of fresh pineapple. i'm not sure whether it helped bring on contractions, but it was tasty.
• I was born ten days late. My mother went into labor canning tomatoes. Maybe some kind of foodstuff-preserving exertion is in order.
• BTW, she came home two days later and finished canning the tomatoes.
• Well, it's not like they were going to can themselves.
• I'm going to have to use that line someday
• Women are tough. If I passed something the size of a watermelon out of a passageway the size of, well, you know, I'd need six months recovery, a raft of painkillers and some extra appointments with my shrink.
• Kid #1 was 14 days late and induced, after we tried every old-wives' tale in existence to get that sucka out. Kid #2 was four days overdue and came of her own accord. Moral: boys are slow.
• And don't forget that they've got cooties!
• Minda25 ROCKS! Woohoo!
• Happy I could help! (And that I'm back in your good graces. Phew!) I just noticed I'd said "squire" instead of "squirt". Heh.
• I thought that was a term of endearment, like "'Ow's 'e doin', the little squire?"
• "'As 'e beeeen to the loo in 'is nappy?"
• Check out my AWESOME new Kurt Vonnegut-themed tattoo.
• Nice! How'd you choose it?
• I'll second that, Nice! What a nice shade of blue, it must look even better in-person...
• Thanks! It's partly a Vonnegut homage, but the fact that I was born on a Blue Monday made this particular image a rather potent one for me.
• Many apologies if this has already been linked, but I'm too gobsmacked to to a proper finetooth search. There's this feller, see, with a website dedicated to the dragon he has tattooed on and around his, er, jade stalk.
• Verra cool tattoo seen in Montreal. Want.
• Friend of mine just inked his whole back last weekend. I'm itchin' for a new one soooooooooo bad.