May 17, 2004

Cicadas are dangerous? Several children fell off bikes, Baker said. "We had a concussion, a 9-year-old who was fleeing a cicada on her bicycle and fell off," he said. But Brood X members of a friendlier demeanor really love children.
posted by wo mu si 20 years ago
  • Not dangerous, delicous.
  • Brood X just sounds so nefarious every time I read about it. I love it. BROOD X!
  • Yeah, great -- the bugs get a bad rap because these kids are idiots. Why does that dingbat have access to sharp things in the first place? And to the genius who went kicking around under the lawnmower -- the universe is trying to tell you something!
  • One man didn't find them so delicous.
  • ...cicada cacciatore, cicada casserole, cicada curry...
  • Cicadaville. Sample FAQ query: "What do Cicadas eat? Human children are the primary source of nutrition for Cicadas." Definitely my number-one recommendation for the curious, impressionable, and gullible.
  • I was once playing wiffle ball with some other kid with a wiffle ball that had a crack along the seam. I was standing about three feet away from this kid and I threw the ball and the kid hit a line drive that resulted in the ball clamping on my belly button like a big plastic clam. It hurt and I cried. It was awesome. I never stabbed some kid while trying to kill a cicada, though. But I did once see a wasp on a little bell at my grandma's house. I tried to ring the bell to kill the wasp, only the wasp flew out and stung me on the nose. It hurt and I cried. It was hilarious.
  • dirigibleman, I both laugh heartily at and pity you. It's a beautiful thing.
  • Oh, and there was the time I played daredevil dart guy in the basement with my sister. Basically it involves throwing darts near (but not at) my sister (sharp metal ones, not the wussy-ass plastic things they have now), you know, like a knife-thrower. My sister wore my Pittsburgh Steelers football helmet for protection. I didn't hit her in the head, but I did nail her in the arm. Luckily it didn't pierce the skin. However, it did hurt, and she cried. Then I think she hit me. That was less awesome.
  • one evening, at our family's physically decaying summer place, i noticed that winged termites were taking to the skies in great number. since i was twelve years old, i naturally got out a ping pong paddle and started swatting them, stunning and exploding dozens. and not once did i hurt my brother, who was engaged in the same bugsport. so obviously those kids are just incompetent.
  • People wouldn't get so up in arms about these cicadas if they weren't so repugnant-looking. They're like the elephant-men of the insect world, and that's saying something. And so prone to flying into hair. And so big. Any bug that you can feel undershoe when you stomp it is too fucking big. In general, so long as Brood X stays outside and in the woods, there will be peace between them and Brood Fes. If one crosses the line and flies into Brood Fes airspace, well, I've already stocked up on cheapass non-EPA-approved bugspray (so tough it stains brick) and slabs of two-by-four for viscerally satisfying coup d'graces.
  • Yes, they are incompetent. And evil.
  • Mind you, I used to zap big ants in Bassendean when I was a kid, using a magnifying glass & the sun. So I am evil, too.
  • MonkeyFilter: Yes, they are incompetent. And evil.
  • Is it me, or have people become unable to handle the simple accidents of childhood in the last two decades? When I was a kid, I broke my leg and my arm in two sucessive years (jumping into leaf piles and climbing a tree respectively); the year before I had gotten my baby finger caught in a heavy door, and the top 1/2 centimetre was ripped off. And these were only what I went to emergency for. These were all normal accidents, the kind of things that happen to most children growing up. But I feel like if they had happened now, I would have been banned from playing in leaves or climbing trees, whereas then I was only advised to stop using doors.
  • oh MAN i am SO BUMMED. i live/work inside the beltway and there are very few cidadas here so far. meanwhile, my boss in a suburb has had to have her trees netted because there's so many. she says it's like walking on rice crispies to the metro. I WANT MY BROOD X, GODDAMN IT!
  • I remember when I lived in DC, it seemed like the entire city center was a bug free zone. It was eerie. For a city built on a swamp, there should've been more moskeetos and such. (and yes, I know that spelling is wrong. I like inventing my own.)
  • Killer bees are the answer. In Kefalonia last year I saw a large cicada and a bumble bee engaged in a frantic fight to the death. It was immensely entertaining, though I can't imagine what they were fighting about. Bee: 'Hey, Stavros! If I have to tell you about that friggin' noise just one more time...
  • are you sure it was a bumblebee and not a cicada killer?
  • One of those cicada killer wasps flew right into my (admittedly largish) forehead once. They are huge and scary looking. But the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so he was allowed to live beyond this otherwise capital-punishment-demanding violation.
  • dirigibleman: When you experience serious injury and trauma, please post. I promise we won't laff. Much Captn Syko: I tu prefor my oun speling envenshons. Fes: Anything that *crunches* makes the hair raise on the back of my neck. *Splat* is not a good sound either.
  • I feel "Spluk" is the worst. Like when you stamp on a slug. Uh, accidentally, naturally.
  • I remember living with my aunt on Oahu for a couple of months when I was a kid. The roaches were roughly the size of shetland ponies. I stepped on one and I swear to God it walked away.
  • SideDish, you are welcome at my house where the cicada corpses (and the near-dead) are so thick on my sidewalk it sounds like you're walking through gravel. I find it all very creepy and disgusting.