May 13, 2004

Weird Animal News Roundup - No monkeys, but news of a man bitten to death by a sexually aroused horse, the sad but inevitable death of the world's fattest raccoon, the cutest vicious guard cat in the UK that ever prompted the Royal Mail to ask its owners to get a proper letter box, and a turkey who tried to kill an SUV. I sense a pattern emerging.

Too good to pick just one for a link, and if I posted them all separately, I would raise the ire of mighty Tracicle. That's my excuse. At least there's a theme, eh?

posted by Nostrildamus 20 years ago
  • It all boils down to Saxon violins, doesn't it?
  • Saxon violins? I don't hear anything.
  • Ok, I take it back. Taking into account the poor raccoon as well, it would be the three Fs of life: Feeding, Fighting and Reproduction.
  • Fucking. You meant the last one to be 'fucking'. Just sing it loud. 'S good for ya. FUCKING. Not in the library, tho', that can be bad for business. Then again..
  • Nostrildamus, are you seeing anyone? Would you like to? *bites tongue*
  • I think Weird Animal News Roundup ought to be an every-Thursday sort of thing. of course, "Feeding, Fighting and Fucking Friday" rolls off the tongue in a way that Flash Friday just never will.
  • Weird Science News of additional bizarre species was released recently from last year's deep-sea research voyage by scientists from Australia and New Zealand (and reported in News of the Weird in October). The oddest this time was the "deep sea angler fish," because of its sex life. According to Dr. Mark Norman, curator at Museum Victoria in Australia: "The female is the size of a tennis ball. It has big savage teeth" and "a rod lure off the top of its head with a glowing tip to coax in stupid prey." The male "looks like a black jellybean with fins." The mating male bites into the female's side, drinks her blood and gives her sperm. Their flesh eventually fuse together permanently. Said Norman, "They have found females with up to six males attached." [Sydney Morning Herald, 3-22-04] Mice Living the Good Life: University of Southern California researchers announced in February that they were able to breed mice with a certain skin gene "overexpressed," resulting in the mices' growing thicker hair, more whiskers and "significantly larger" "external genitalia." [Medical News Today, 2-23-04]
  • PF you shouldn't bite people's toungues like that. See how Nostrildamus hasn't said anything since, poor fella.
  • A fascinating post about human-animal interfaces. I enjoyed it immensely, Nostrildamus, and also have learned I really don't want to try driving a stallion. Anywhere. Thanks!
  • "My vehicle just depreciated quite a bit," Bitar said. "But that doesn't matter. He'll be in the freezer soon." oh waaaah. What a luser.
  • It's all the Saxon Violins in the media that's ruining this country!
  • Top o' the hit list for Saxon violin --: Sweetly she sleeps, my Alice fair, Her cheek on the pillow pressed, Sweetly she sleeps, while her Saxon hair, Like sunlight, streams o'er her breast. -- Lyrics by Charles Eastman, music by Stephen Foster
  • Aging Octopus Finds Love at Last "After meeting the very fetching and slightly younger Aurora, he changed color and his eight arms became intertwined with hers. Then, the two retreated to a secluded corner to get to know each other better." ooh la la!
  • Top o' the hit list for Saxon violin --: Not THOSE Saxon violins! Sheesh! Although Sax 'n' Violins will do in a pinch too. Just as long as there's no sex and violence involved.
  • "In the whole entire world he was my best friend." Poor Deb! He was born with a bad thyroid gland Says so right on the headstone. 3F Friday: for centuries it's been that way the world over and don't forget Get-it-on Saturday night
  • The story about the horse biting a man to death was on the radio a few days ago. The DJ said she was going to read out a "really funny news story" and, after reading it, apologised because so many people called up complaining that it wasn't funny.
  • Just don't mess with these critters.
  • Where do I get me one of these?
  • *pukes*
  • It's good to know that these are on our side. (hopefully not used in prison security though...)
  • 404ed on my watch Says FIVE-year-old child right there in the headlines. And you thought nobody ever read your posts. She must have been one pissed mama unless that was a scrawny, starved coon. We used to have a big dog coon when the kids were young. Fella at work gave it to my husband because his wife said, "It's either you or that coon!" Meanest SOB you ever saw. He probably weighed 27 lbs. The man had kept him on a 1 inch chain with a double nylon collar, and he had no fur around his neck. My husband built a cage of 2x4s screwed together with 3 inch wood screws, and he tore that apart in one night. Bent the heck out of a big, heavy metal dog crate. Oddly enough he never ran away, but he'd be out on the back porch in the morning when I went out to feed the horses, and he'd try to take my leg off. Eventually, "It's either you or that coon!" We finally turned him loose up in the woods near an old cabin. Since he'd been captured at about age four, we figured he'd survive. God help the wildlife around him, though! And that poor kid--rabies shots are nasty!!
  • Oh, they can be scary little bastards. I used to have big fat twin coons at my house. Huge things. I'd turn the hose on them when I was outside at twilight watering plants. They'd just stand there and glare. I'd yell at them, and they'd just make faces at me. I wouldn't want to meet an angry one in a dark alley.
  • Sad to think how many marriages have ended with the words, "It's either you or that coon."
  • Even sadder to think of coons that have been torn from loving homes...
  • I'll look mine up and send 'em to you, GramMa! I believe they have fivetuplets now.