May 08, 2004

Saddam's interrogation logs With the revelations of torture at Abu Ghraib one could logically ask, "If that's how they're treating low-echelon prisoners, how are interrogators handling the Big Cheese?" Over at McSweeney's, someone spills the beans.
  • Funny. The bit about the PsyOps newspaper was brilliant: I asked where the WMD were and he suggested I look in my copy of PsyOps weekly.
  • one noteworthy piece left out: On another occasion of being asked where he would hide anthrax if he had any Saddam said. "Dictator's Mother" and then demanded more melons in his meals.
  • 2230 - 2330. We've taken away SH's HBO privileges. Tariq Aziz's aide sent over a pack of Oreos. I take one of the Oreos, hold it up, and ask him if he's hiding uranium (cream) or centrifuges (round cookie). He licks the cream off and puts the spent cookies under his mattress, where there's already a piece of bread and a Ho Ho. A stockpile! But where? I need some sleep.
  • 0907-0909 We decide to pull out the big guns. Maj. Hochstetter orders me to take away SH's prayer rug and replace it with a wacky but hilarious "Partridge Family" beach towel. SH appears shaken. We think he's cracking.