April 28, 2004
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
Just a quote or two about a Monkey's favorite subject--after power tools and bananas, that is.
And for all you guys with a problem remembering your punctuation, here's a site that might help personalize it a bit. May be NSFW
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Me? Hung like a chihuahua, babee!
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"Who the heck was shouting 'GAIA! GAIA! OH GAIA!' at 3:00 in the morning?" "Oh, see, my new rommate is an atheist, you know..."
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Haha! The second quote at that first link, is listed as from the mouth of: "Robert Byrne, quoted in 1,911 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, 1988" What isn't made clear there is that he actually edited that collection of quotes. It's his book. I used to have it, and it was an excellent assemblage of memorable quotes. Byrne did a fine job on it, except for one thing. He had the annoying habit of sneaking his own little gems in between Ben Franklin and Mark Twain, here and there, even though he, himself, is really no one. His own "quotes," like this one, were always wordy and silly, more the red-nosed jokes of a half-drunk uncle than the salient aphorisms of a celebrated sage. But oh well, he was the editor and he thought they were good enough. I guess nestling yourself in-between other people who have already been immortalized is one way to cheat death. Wotta maroon. Thanks for the laugh, BlueHorse. The rest of those quotes are amazing. But I might never have thought of Robert Byrne for the rest of my life without this little reminder.
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"Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't! ~George Bernard Shaw" This one made me spew lunch bits all over my keyboard.
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"Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull. It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all. Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill. ~Henry Louis Mencken" Hear hear!
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Oh Weezel you cynical ape. Don't you hear the violins?
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Sex, bah. Give me the power tools any day.
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Mmmm...sawzall...a tool that's almost too effective for its own good. Dremel!
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Dizzy: Maybe YOU should have your own quotes page. I laughed so hard I could have popped both my suspenders (had I been wearing any.) I threw in this post because I wanted to give you Monkeys a change. Tools! Tools! Tools! What is this? Are you guys EVOLVING or something? goetter, com'on, you can tell us, does your lack of interest in the bananas and the coconuts have anything to do with THEM grabbing life by the goetter? poor baby Hit 'em with a wrench next time.
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grabbing life by the goetter BwAhh!