April 28, 2004

Bibleman! Take a washed up child actor, add the Word of God, and you've got a hit! Sort of.
posted by rodgerd 20 years ago
  • my brother got me a bibleman video for christmas. he has a very sick sense of humor. i haven't watched it yet, because frankly, i'm not sure i could even enjoy it on any kind of ironic level... unless it's as homoerotic as he says.
  • I think those may be PAGAN images there. Don't let him get to your children. He must be the antichrist.
  • Divided We Fall With the Bibleteam focused on being hurt and angry with each other, Wacky Protestor is clear to take control of the broadcasting system's satellite and broadcast his show nationwide! By using his multi-linear, 64-track audio-digitization vocal manipulation sequencer, computer generated graphics and editing quantinizer, he can virtually have Mr. Funky do and say whatever he wants to! Will the Bibleteam believe the video transmissions they see and become upset with each other? Will they be able to figure out Wacky Protestor's scheme and destroy I.N.S.E.C.T. before it's too late? Teaching from Matthew 12:25 that "A house divided can not stand", Divided We Fall encourages all believers to love each other in Jesus.
    Not WACKY protestors. It'd be cute if these kinds of people weren't trying to lock up 'wacky' protestors.
  • OK..work with me on this one. .there's a connection between Bibleman and the recently arrested eco-protester Tre Arrow. Bibleman is produced by Pamplin Entertainment which is owned by R.B. Pamplin Corporation. Robert Pamplin is one of the richest men in the world. One of the companies under the RB Pamplin umbrella is Ross Island Sand and Gravel located in Portland Oregon. On Easter sunday 2001, a front loader and two concrete trucks owned by Ross Island Sand & Gravel were destroyed, Allegedly by Tre Arrow . Ok still with me here? The main bad guy in the Bibleman stage shows is "The Wacky Protester" Wacky Protester = Tre Arrow? (from the site) " With his scheme thwarted by the Bibleman Adventure team, Primordious Drool retires to the sewer from which he came and is replaced by another hopeful villain, The Wacky Protestor. With plans to drench the world in a hopeless cloud of despair and darkness, the Wacky Protestor uses his Spasmodic, Meteoronic, Wacksonic Cloud of Darkness and Despair to discourage youth group member Corey Standridge and give him deep feelings of isolation and despair.
  • This may be why there are replacement Biblemen.
  • Holy corporate agenda, Argh! Excellent cyber-sleuthing, my friend. Quickly now... to the Biblemobile! And I wonder what the big guy would say about blatantly stealing intellectual property?
  • "...the Wacky Protestor uses his Spasmodic, Meteoronic, Wacksonic Cloud of Darkness and Despair to discourage youth group member Corey Standridge and give him deep feelings of isolation and despair." Oh no! Not Corey! Jesus, that's hilarious. I'd love to see how they characterize an isolated teen. I bet he listens to crazy music and engages in a lot of melodramatic door-slamming. Maybe he even smokes a cigarette! I'd say Argh's dead on about Tre Arrow. Anyway, is anyone else a little put off by the overzealous multiculturalism? Maybe it's just my excessive exposure to Southern Baptists talking, but there's something off about an overwhelmingly white church that goes out of its way to include every ethnic group imaginable in its promotional material (here I was going to link to the Onion story, "Graphic Artist Carefully Assigns Ethnicities To Anthropomorphic Recyclables," but apparently access to their archives is now $30 a year. I can, however, link to stories like Dexter Roundtree's).
  • I wonder if Bibleman and Kirk Cameron are hanging out these days.
  • (Seeing as they have something in common. Both being washed-up actors, that is.)
  • I saw this movie on sale at the local Salvation Army. Should've bought it.
  • Tell me you guys made up those synopses. If you did, they're hilarious and brilliantly crafted satire on the level of a modern day Jonathan Swift. If not, I'm completely horrified.
  • NO,no, it's real. Horrifying isn't it?