April 12, 2004
Rejoice, salvation is at hand!
Escalation and insane oneupsmanship can make your commute much more satisfying thanks to the SUVs of the future.
I favor the Grand Dominator, myself.
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Can you name the truck with four wheel drive, Smells like a steak, and seats thirty five? Canyonero! Canyonero! Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown Canyonero! Canyonero! Hey, hey! Twelve yards long, two lanes wide, Sixty five tons of American pride! Canyonero! Canyonero! Top of the line in utility sports, Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts! Canyonero! Canyonero! She blinds everybody with her super high beams She's a squirrel-squashin', deer-smackin' drivin' machine Canyonero! Canyonero! Canyonero!
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You can pay for one in Food Stamps.
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...Or you can pay for one in blood... *seemed like a next logical line*
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Perhaps signing in blood on some crackling parchment while this guy with really sharp hair looks over your shoulder. Smelling vaguely of old bean dinners.
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Says something about the average man's obsession with big cars that I was completely taken in for a good long time.
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wolof - for some reason that little ditty started in my head to the tune of "convoy"... where's it from? (and was i close on the tune?)
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It's from the Simpsons. And Convoy isn't far off from the tune.
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Fear the Funmog. Check out all the chrome, and weep.