April 11, 2004
Our finest hour
Huzza! An American won the Battle of Britain, and his name is Tom Cruise!
"In 1940, expert German fighters had decimated the Royal Air Force to the point that there weren't enough pilots left to fly the Spitfire planes sitting idly in hangars," it [Variety] said. "Unable to rouse the US into action, a desperate Winston Churchill hatched a covert effort to recruit civilian American pilots to join the RAF. Risking prison sentences in the then-neutral US, a ragtag bunch of pilots answered the call."
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I like the last section of the article, listing all sorts of films in which "Uncle Sam rewrote the script". Clearly everyone knows it was a Canadian pilot who was the hero...oh, wait. Wrong war. Carry on.
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USA wins, wins, wins every war. Single-handed. Without the slightest assistance from anyone else. Ever. Cheers, cheers, cheers. /from the revised revised script
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Surely it was the Poles who won the Battle of Britain? Oh, and they cracked the Enigma too.
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...and here I was so sure 'twas the doing o' the Welsh...
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"When you talk about a great actor, you're not talking about Tom Cruise."