November 03, 2010

Aside from a certain green page, it's hard to get any REAL help on the Web. Well, now there's OhDoctah, self-proclaimed #1 advisor on the Internet. Or, if your problem is a dispute with another person/monkey, now you can it resolved via the reasoned judgment of Best Selling Author/Daily Show Correspondent/Former Human PC Judge John Hodgman.

(appropriate since I keep putting an "e" between the "g" and "m" in both Judgment and Hodgman... I like where he pledges to be a better judge than Wapner, Judy, Dredd OR Reinhold)

posted by oneswellfoop 14 years ago
  • Well, OK. I don't think so.
  • That sounds like you're disputing me, and that might be a dispute we can take to Judge John Hodgman!. Or not.
  • The judge said to his dentist: "Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth." Judge: "Have you anything to offer to this Court before I pass sentence?" Defendant: "No your honor, my lawyer took every penny." At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you." Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000." The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon ... "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits." Baadaabump!
  • A man walks into a bar, but a lawyer passes it.
  • "Oh Doctah" did a good live interview with webcasting 'mogul' Leo Laporte this week. Made me like both of them a little bit more. And if the bantered-about idea of a TWiT Network "Morning Show" that would include Doctah and/or his sidekick Khayyam comes into being, I'd consider getting up early for it. It's just nice to find the New Media people who aren't total bores or boors (they mostly gravitate around either TWiT or the MetaFilter-sponsored Maximum Fun, and I will keep promoting the good ones I find whether anyone cares or not.