November 19, 2008

• *sings* Fuck you! Fuck you! And everyone who looks like you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Let's all fling some poo! */sings* Haw haw, you fucking self-linking numpty.
• 'Alan Smith', as every fule kno, is an anagram of 'do we look fucking stupid?'
• Yeah, look, Alan...it's pretty much just me and Hank around here in at this time. The 'merkins dion't come on shift for a few hours yet. So why don't you come on in and we can have a chat.
• That's not a threat, BTW.
• Grrrrr it's at LEAST 10 hours before I can even think about having breakfast! And I not even posted my dinner yet.
• No? Oh, OK then. I had cheese and pickle sandwiches for lunch, and an Asda's own 'Puffin' biscuit for afters - it's their own version of a P..P..P..Penguin, obv.
• Just tell us what you last ate, Gomi. That's what I alsways do.
• Quaker™ Sweet & Salty Crunch Honey Roasted Peanut granola bars are made with Whole Grain Oats! 150 calories per serving! 0g trans fat!
• I'll be having brekkie in about ten minutes. It'll be a glass of milk.
• A glass of milk! That won't keep a big boy like you going till lunchtime. Now you come back here and let me fix you something. How about a boiled-y egg and soldiers?
• I bet this bloke is on the BNP membership list.
• a kettelman's bagel with cream cheese, an espresso, and a glass of orange juice.
• I often expel failure
• Oatcakes. But right now I'm making tomato-basil sauce and it smells divine.
• I had a sausage butty for tea last night. Nice it was, too.
• Two bacon biscuits from the company cafeteria. Paid for with quarters scrounged from a Superman piggy bank, which made the food more delicious. Currently sipping a fresh cup of coffee from...Sumatra, I think? Can't remember which batch I roasted this week. It's delicious, only slightly tainted by the stainless steel of the thermos. Though it occurs to me that I have a french press right here at my desk (scavenged from an abandoned cube), so I ought to try just bringing fresh grounds to work and brewing right at my desk. On the other hand, I don't want to be the Office Coffee Douche, I mean I already get an eyeroll when people find out I roast my own coffee and don't really believe me when I tell them it's about being frugal and paying Folgers prices for fair trade beans, so it's humane and Hands Across America and shit too, and I mostly work with conservative people who took some time just getting used to my man-purse, even though it's this manly OD Green canvas army looking thing, and there was some stupid shit about the proper hetero way to carry such a bag, which had *my* eyes rolling, so now I'm thinking fuck those bunch of cocks right in the eye, and I'm gonna try the french press tomorrow, and hey, has anyone tried that AeroPress thing, if so I'd like a review, because it looks kind of awesome.
• Also, kitfisto has a sausage in his butty, lol.
• OK -- now here's what I don't get: I put out the green bin last night, together with three giant paper bags of leaves. This morning, the garbage went out. Now, the garbage was picked up, and the three giant paper bags, but not the green bin. It was just standing there, with its lid open. So, I don't know if I put in something wrong for the green bin -- it had only leaves and a few small branches in it -- or if it was too heavy or what. The other possibility is that it was frozen in there, as that's happened before, and I had to wait for the thaw before my fall leaves could be picked up, but it's just over 24 hrs of minus temperatures, so is that enough to freeze a bunch of leaves into a solid block? They were put in there over the weekend, so there couldn't have been that much composting happening already. Though, they were wet. Anyone have any ideas? Why didn't the garbageman take my green composting bin, the fucker?
• Dude, that was the most middle class post I've seen here. Well done for living up to your name. Shall we talk about wine or something now?
• I'm having wine right now!
• What flavour? I myself don't like wine. Cooking lager will do for me.
• Don't like wine? But I thought you were an Ah-tiste.
• Just a Shiraz from Australia. It's red.
• artist more like fartist amirite
• Really, Tarquin!
• The Nouveaux are being released tomorrow, btw.
• I used to like wine, but I think I went a glass too far. Now I have to be already drunk to get it down. I'm the same with whiskey.
• Oatmeal with a melange of cashews, other assorted multi-grains, demerara, and whole milk... Ta! Ta!
• Why didn't the garbageman take my green composting bin, the fucker? 'Cause he's a fucker. Also, I can smell PA's tomato-basil sauce from here. Maybe I'll have pizza for lunch.
• You can add leaf & yard waste in your green cart if there is room. During the Spring and Fall, leaf & yard waste will be collected separately in open top rigid containers or paper bags every other week... If unacceptable materials such as plastic or other waste are found in your green cart, it will not be collected, and you will be responsible for taking out the unacceptable materials. A notice will be left to explain why the green cart was not collected. I say they are fuckers since they did not leave you a notice. Fuckers! My bolding
• They fucked up your greens to mess with your freakin' head maaaan!!! This isn't 'nam! There are rules!
• Don't give in. Put the bin out again next week. Wait them out. Fuckers.
• I use a French press at work, and just give the stink-eye to anyone who makes comments or looks at me funny for using it. I'm not drinking office coffee-maker swill, no-thank-you m'am, not even if you use Tim Horton's coffee grounds in it. In fact, that is just another reason to shun the foul swill. I need my caffeine, but I do have some standards.
• Usually, they're quite good with slapping a giant, fluorescent sticker on there, saying that you have unacceptable materials, just so the whole neighbourhood can know what a tool you are. At least, that's the recycling guy. And it's never happened to me, but the buurvrouw, who kept trying to put metal paint cans in the recycling. But this was just a green bin with leaves and branches -- not even food compost in there or anything. What gives, man? WHAT GIVES?
• If ever there was a time to 'go postal', it's now. Well, that or 'go commando'. I get them mixed up.
• not even if you use Tim Horton's coffee grounds I was in upstate NY a few months ago for a few days and had my first ever Tim Ho's, and HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Sandwich, doughnut, AND coffee for lunch is the most brilliant idea ever. I had it like six times. Egg salad, toasted, chocolate doughnut, black coffee.
• Admittedly, Tim Horton's sandwich meal deals are fantastic. the buurvrouw, who kept trying to put metal paint cans in the recycling Huh. You can recycle those in Ottawa, provided they are empty, and you leave them open.
• What gives, man? WHAT GIVES? They're fucking with your head, man. Sounds to me like it's time for all out war now.
• This thread is becoming the boringest thread ever. What next? Discussions on paper hanging?
• When I lived in Ohio there was talk of having a contest to see how many TimBits you could stuff into your mouth at once. I now hereby demand that other monkeys do so for my gratification. kthnxby!
• What next? Discussions on paper hanging? If you insist. I hang paper on my cubical walls with clear plastic thumbtacks.
• There are TimHos in Ohio now?
• Fascinating, darling! *eats own leg*
• I don't drink coffee at work. I used to drink two or three cups a day but a few years ago I got all squirrelly and hyper-anxious and shit and eventually traced it to the coffee and had to go cold-turkey. At first I was totally caffeine-free but now I enjoy my green tea (although we have crap tea at work so I may have to start bringing my own), and during hockey season I have a Tim Horton's French Vanilla flavoured cappucino at my son's games. I don't get squirrelly any more but the boy's a goalie so I still get anxious.
• "The Office Coffee Douche" made me laugh. I once sat in the cubicle next to the office coffee douche. Every time I came back from the break room with a cup of coffee, he would roll his eyes, sigh, then chuckle. Every. Single. Time. Periodically he would regale me with the latest anecdote from his personal coffee roastery (which was his garage, and a bunch of air popcorn poppers). Mind you, he never brought me a sample or offered to sell me a batch. Douche. However, he only ranks #2 in terms of Worst Office Mates. The #1 spot is, and will ever be, the MFA and failed poet who worked down the hall from me at an insurance brokerage. Mr. I Won A Pushcart Prize Ten Years Ago And No One Here Appreciates Me, But They Will One Day, Oh They Will.
• > The Nouveaux are being released tomorrow, btw. Yay! I'd forgotten. Banana-flavored wine for me this weekend, so. Plus, the marché de Noël has arrived in Lille, so there'll be fresh salty pretzels.
• The Marché de Noël? Do they have that guy selling the monster Quebec beers? Maudite? Fin du Monde? Blanche du Chambly? Duuuuuuuude...
• *stuffs TimBits down kit's gullet*
• This post expels failure.
• I had sliced baked lamb on fresh hot home made pita bread. This morning it was chewy pita bread, the newspaper, and really cheap supermarket coffee.
• Where's a good old-fashioned troll lurking these days when you need one?
• I gave up caffeine about ten years ago, but I had to take it back up because I kept dozing off at work. I'm back up to 3 cups a day now.
• If the Quebec beer guy is there, roryk, pick up some of the Don de Dieu, if he has it. Not that any of the Unibroue stuff is going to be crap, but the Don de Dieu is simply MASSIVE. There's so much going on in there. Heavy as a pipe wrench, though.
• Don de Dieu review.
• *Expels Spammers out of Mofi* note: it's just 'expel'. 'expel out' is clumsy and redundant. you can, however, expel from, should you wish. also, have you noticed that 'expel' is one of those words which look weirder the more you stare at it? expelexpelexpel. argh. has anyone tried that AeroPress thing, if so I'd like a review, because it looks kind of awesome The supremely wonderful Alnedra sent DiMMN an AeroPress as a pressie, and it is indeed deeply awesome. Very very yummy coffee, easy to clean, encourages you to make "wooooooosh" noises as you press the plunger. If you're already roasting your own coffee, mct, I'd say this is the next logical step. I forgot breakfast, again, had rice cakes with pate for lunch, and am planning roast parsnips and carrots and mashed potatoes and some glorious-looking smoked salmon from the local farm shop for dinner.
• Capt, I have been quite fond of the Don de Dieu myself. Good stuff.
• > Do they have that guy selling the monster Quebec beers? I think he should be there. It just opened today so I'll go on Saturday. And probably Sunday too. So: Don de Dieu, Maudite, Fin du Monde, Blanche du Chambly other?
• I recently tried the Quelque Chose, but wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Reviews are so-so, but I did enjoy the cherry overtones...
• Anything from Unibroue, and you should be fine. Except for the Raftsman -- that's a bit of a disappointment. If he has stuff from the Cheval Blanc brewery, that's also good -- my fav is the Coup de Grisou, though watch the expiry date, as it doesn't age well.
• Did you heat it, smt?
• Nope. Should I try?
• Oh -- for the Unibroue beers -- the Chambly Noire is a really interesting stout, though perhaps a bit thin. Hints of mint in there. A lot of people don't like it, though. The Ephemere line of fruit beers is always interesting, but sometimes you don't need a whole bottle's worth. It can be a bit much.
• The Quelque Chose should be heated. Basically, you get a pot of water boiling, put the bottle in for a minute or two, and then serve. Careful opening that puppy, though. Hot ale is an acquired taste, and something you need to get yourself used to, but is well worth trying. It certainly brings the flavours to the fore like nothing else. I think Brooklyn Brewery has a hot beer as well. I'll check.
• Nah, I don't see it now. I was quite sure they had one.
• I need to pick up a Unibroue sampler. I've only had La Fin Du Monde, and for the life of me couldn't understand the glowing reviews. That alone probably kept me away from the rest of the Unibroue line.
• Interesting. I'm going to have to give that a trial run this weekend (the bottles are quite large!). A bit pricey in my neighborhood too. Nothing like settling into an evening with a hot beverage...
• Some of them can come on strong, rocket, but a lot of them tend to grow on you once you acquire the taste. If Fin Du Monde didn't rock your boat, give Don de Dieu a try - I actually prefer it over Du Monde.
• Me too.
• Some people are saying that you put the bottle in a pot of cool water, and then heat them up slowly. That's probably a smarter way to do it.
• Every time I came back from the break room with a cup of coffee, he would roll his eyes, sigh, then chuckle. Okay, I'm not this dude, at least. I'll drink swill if there's no other option, and I'm hip that not everyone's down with the good stuff. Although I did abandon the popper for an actual roasting machine. Bigger batches, less mess. The supremely wonderful Alnedra sent DiMMN an AeroPress as a pressie, and it is indeed deeply awesome. Maybe I'll put that on my Christmas list, thanks! The Nouveaux are being released tomorrow, btw. Stay away from that Beaujolais Nouveau, sucker.
• I don't think it was the strength so much as the outright yeastiness of FDM that turned me off. I'll give Don de Dieu a shot.
• I don't think it was the strength so much as the outright yeastiness of FDM that turned me off Nail on the head for me. When I said "strong", I didn't necessarily mean the alcohol content. Fin du Monde, for me, is one of those that is "in your face". The flavors are quite intense, and, dare I say, a bit too rich? Capt, Mrs SMT is going to look at me like I'm crazy when she sees me heating up a bottle on the stove like that - - but I must give it a try! I'll go for the "heat slowly" method. That reminds me, whatever became of your blueberry concoction, Capt?
• I had a look at it the other day. Didn't open it. The colour has completely bleached out of the blueberries, and the liquid is near-black purple and very syruppy. I expect that it'll turn out just fine. I'll keep you posted, once I have some vanilla ice cream in the house.
• *books flight to ON*
• i really should try to wake up earlier. *drinks coffee*
• Why do I find this particular conversation so much fun and feel like I love you all so much?! Could be the powerful Blueberry B Monster juice I'm drinking. Could be my work is so mind numbing I could have clicked on anything and felt the same. Those 75 comments caught my eye, though, and I thought "wow, this must be good!" And, surprise, surprise....it was!
• Queso, the Fucker didn't pick up Capt's green compost bin! The fucker!
• He is, indeed, a fucker. He once wiped some grease off his hands on my bin, only I didn't see it. And me in one of my work suits. I was right pissed.
• And you have not yet declared war?? Off with his head! *dusts off the leaf-themed camo gear*
• Well, he's at my house at quarter to seven, and I don't get out of bed until 8:22, so you can see how a war would be inconvenient.
• *radios for backup*
• I had dinner left-overs for breakfast (italian sausage and pasta with zuchini-based sauce YUM!) and some peet's coffee. sucks about the bin, capt. KILL HIM!!!
• Grease-wipin', leaf-leavin' fucker.
• Well, he's at my house at quarter to seven, and I don't get out of bed until 8:22, so you can see how a war would be inconvenient One word: Minefield
• Hamilton still has a few fairly active Italian-Canadian family businesses *cough*mafia*cough*. I haven't heard of any specific connections to the garbage & recycling industries, but I'd leave them alone just to be safe. When I lived there I knew not to mess with vending machines, all of which were owned & operated by Johnny "Pops" Papalia.
• The Italian Canadian mafia makes you a deal you can't politely refuse.
• mct, how conservative can your office really be, if, among the stuff abandoned in an empty cubicle, was a french press? I mean, mug of pens? Check. Broken stapler? Check. Pictures of family? Check. French press? I had a big helping of nothing for breakfast.
• The last post was brought to you by the comma foundation.
• Is it wrong that I could tell by the subject of this post that it was a self-link without even opening it, then saw 86 comments, and immediately rushed in, full of excitement?
• Is it wrong... sounds like the definition of right to me!
• mct, how conservative can your office really be, if, among the stuff abandoned in an empty cubicle, was a french press? Random employee, not at all indicative of the office culture as a whole. She intentionally left it behind because it was an impulse purchase she never really used, which was sort of her hallmark.
• I'm still chuckling over the sentence structure, "Expels X out of your Y." I'm pretty sure most people wouldn't choose X = "failure" and Y = "business."
• This looks eeked (the link has been changed), but it's still on the front page. It's in deletion-limbo.
• Wait, it's on the eeked page and the front page. o_O
• Look, you can all keep yer fancy coffee and beer with twigs in it. The other night I microwaved my own popcorn and washed it down with Tesco's Imported Lager (5%, £2.67 for four cans), so don't try and tell me about the finer things in life. *scratches*
• I was imagining that the woman who left the French press behind was the former OffCoffDouche, who was passing the tiara on to MCT.
• Funny. I would never think twice of using a French press as a lot of people in my office do . .. the office coffee pot coffee is just that bad (and 50¢ a cup). Our OffCoffCouches are: 1. the guy who monopolises the kettle as he slowly drizzles water for 15 minutes over his grinds in this complicated cloth-sac contraption, despite the line of people waiting to make tea, 2. the woman who grinds her own beans. In the coffee room, 3. Mr. Snobby I-Roast-My-Own-Beans -- of course, he only roasts beans that are personally air shipped to him by friends in Central America that get them straigt from plantation, and of course there is no point in roasting green beans if they are more than 48 hours old or somesuch, and you must of course use them within 2 hours of roasting and 10 seconds of grinding.
• The press's former owner wouldn't qualify as a proper coffee douche. She was a sort of woman who would celebrate the moments of her life over an instant, "international" coffee. It was so deliciously plebeian. Why, this one time, I saw her putting non-dairy creamer into her coffee, of all things. Can you imagine? NON-DAIRY CREAMER, I tell you. And she had a scone from STARBUCKS. Pshaw.
• I dip my croissants. Get over it.
• I like scones.
• I just got my first TimHo in a 'seasonal' cup, so Christmas has officially begun. This is the Word of the Lord Horton.
• WHY WON'T TIM HORTON JUST COME A LITTLE FURTHER SOUTH IN NEW YORK? IT'S NOT LIKE I'M ASKING FOR MUCH FOR DONUT'S SAKE!